Ubersite Blues – or – The Doogie Keebler Experience (654 hits)
Category: Politics -> AfghanistanRating: 1.4 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PMJ <potatomanjack79.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-07-27 02:34:50 EDT
"I don't like people. I guess that makes me a bad person"
- Norm McDonald as Andy Rooney on SNL
Never have truer words been spoken. I really don't like people. Can you blame me? I mean, most are so self centered in that I imagine that if/when I try to take over the world they probably will protest and yell somewhat clever rhyming slogans at my laser enhanced limo of death as I drive by. That'll really put a downer on my day. That's not cool.
Seriously though, almost every person on the planet is a rude sack of shit that is so centered in their own world that they'd need a live grenade shoved up their cornhole in order to blow their head out of their ass.
Just today, I was walking out of a busy foodcourt, and there's a group of three young women walking in the opposite direction. One of them had a story to tell that just couldn't wait, and so her face was turned, and she was paying no attention whatsoever to where she was going. As they came closer, I realized she was heading right at me, and so I stopped, hoping that she would look-up in time. Of course she didn't, and walked straight into me.
And this is where my point comes. I was expecting an apology. I wasn't hurt or even annoyed, I just figured I was owed one for having Stupid McBitcherson ram into me. However, rather than a passing 'sorry' or even an acknowledgement of what she's done, she continues to relay her tale to her friends without even looking up, and steps around me.
Just to clarify, this wasn't a bit of a bump in passing. This was a full blown collision due to her complete ignorance of direction and surrounding.
And yet, nothing.
Her belief in her insane gravitational pull which actually caused the entire universe to in fact rotate around her allowed to walk away from the incident without a second thought to her fault in the matter.
And thus, I hate people.
Needless to say, I'm going to hunt her down and garrot her puppy this weekend.
Oh yeah, for those of you who remember me, a quick update.
A lot has happened to me since I used to be a regular poster around here. I've completed a master's degree, I got a shiny new jobs that pays gobs of money, and I've even gotten married.
Stay classy Ubersite
User Reviews
Submitted by CrazyHatLady (user info) at 2007-08-03 04:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I do have one question after reading this...since your mom has three nipples...which one did you breast feed from?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Now, all you have to do is change your Uber name and you're all set!
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome back. I'll start a rebellion with you. I just got a new keyboard with more buttons.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's the Taterrrrrrrr!! Congrats and and all that!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-07-27 10:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My old arch-nemesis.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-27 09:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yoU're in afghanistan?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-27 09:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-07-27 09:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to see you again!
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-07-27 07:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, PMJ. Yours was some of the 1st stuff I read when I came here. Thanks.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-27 05:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2007-07-27 03:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it's the circle of life, or the miracle of birth, or a shrowded enigma... or something along those lines. Ubersite has just entered the next 'phase' of its existence...
What the fuck am I talking about?! It's time to get the fucker back! And by get the fucker back, I mean I'll post a decent post every Friday afternoon and -2 the hell out of everything shitty for 2 hours while I waste the afternoon at work.
Vive la revolution!
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make sure it's a recipe post, that's what works around here now.
go Che go. i'll be sure to buy a t-shirt
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-07-27 04:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I'm trying!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-07-27 03:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll join the rebellion, but first I need some material.....
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-27 03:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2007-07-27 08:43:05 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it's the circle of life, or the miracle of birth, or a shrowded enigma... or something along those lines. Ubersite has just entered the next 'phase' of its existence...
What the fuck am I talking about?! It's time to get the fucker back! And by get the fucker back, I mean I'll post a decent post every Friday afternoon and -2 the hell out of everything shitty for 2 hours while I waste the afternoon at work.
Vive la revolution!
----------------
HUZZAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it a rebellion??
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2007-07-27 03:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it's the circle of life, or the miracle of birth, or a shrowded enigma... or something along those lines. Ubersite has just entered the next 'phase' of its existence...
What the fuck am I talking about?! It's time to get the fucker back! And by get the fucker back, I mean I'll post a decent post every Friday afternoon and -2 the hell out of everything shitty for 2 hours while I waste the afternoon at work.
Vive la revolution!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-27 03:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2007-07-27 07:51:06 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good to see there are still some old-timers around here
But seriously, what the fuck has happened around here? Just looking today I've seen many a post that would've burned in -2 hell, which are coming off with positive ratings. Did this place turn soft or something?
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Im not convinced people read posts with more than 3 words in them.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-07-27 03:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's the circle-jerk. There's a group of about 10 that +2 each other no matter what kind of crap they post. It's driven the quality through the pavement. I can't even say anything.... take a look at my last 5 or 10 posts.... total and utter shit.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-07-27 03:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well fuck my ass and call me your sister, it's PMJ.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-07-27 02:57:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
honestly... beats the shit out of me... Uber has always worked in cycles. I remember when shit post thursday was created. Now apparently several days have different themes. I have not attempted to figure it all out yet.
As for the random flamewhores who -2 everything except their own little circle's emo-esque blog crap...fuckem...I always ignored the lil turd biters.
I just came back here for practice and to rehone my skillz.
I hope though that I will create something worthy of your attention PMJ, as opposed to some obnoxious hit machine post that caters to the mean.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2007-07-27 02:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good to see there are still some old-timers around here
But seriously, what the fuck has happened around here? Just looking today I've seen many a post that would've burned in -2 hell, which are coming off with positive ratings. Did this place turn soft or something?
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-07-27 02:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember you...quite well in fact.
Congrats on the Master's and the Marriage.
Im in college again for the 4th time...and Queen B and I been history for 3+ years (she got remarried a year ago to some other chump).
Not much of an accomplishment compared to yours though my friend.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-07-27 02:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeebus.... it's PMJ.