Making other people happy is for chumps (859 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.38 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PMJ <potatomanjack79.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-08-03 04:20:35 EDT
The first time I can remember when I did something for someone, I think I was around 4 years old. I had been playing with a big red ball, and was having an absolute fucking blast throwing it, and then trying to pick it up. I was truly enjoying myself the way only a tot who doesn't know any better can.
Then another usurping brat tried to take my ball, so I protested and tried to run away. That's when my mom told me that I should share my ball because it was the right thing to do. So I gave the kid my ball, and that's when Steely McGee's mom told him to say thank you, and so he did.
And there I was, no ball, and in place of the crack-like fun I was having, instead I had a feeling of self-worth due to a forced thanks, which only lasted about 3 seconds.
Is that a fair trade? No fucking shit crap ass way it is!
Sorry about all the swears... I get emotional when I think about the day I lost good old red...
And basically, that outlines the point of this post. Being nice and doing the 'right thing' really isn't a positive sum game. What you end up giving away is never of equal value to what you get in return, even when you consider the holistic fru-fru hippy side. Sure you feel good for a fleeting moment, but what you actually gave away would probably have kept you feeling good all night.
I mean, just today, I was driving in traffic, and someone was trying to get into my lane. Against my better judgment, I let the person in. I was rewarded with a casual wave of thanks - and yes, I got a warm glow in my cockles from being a good citizen.
How soon, it was to end...
The next thing I know, the guy now wants to pull across two busy lanes of traffic and into a driveway. What happens to me? I get stuck behind Mr. Blue Mazada Miata (just the fact that a dude was driving a Miata should've been enough of a warning, but I digress) as he attempts to part the red sea of speeding motorists like he was John A. Moses himself; and there I was stuck behind him regretting completely my decision to be nice.
So basically, being nice is for chumps. Don't fall into the trap, because although putting yourself second will give you a sense of 'goodness', actually getting to the movies on time, avoiding an argument with your partner about why you're late, and not going to jail because this was the last straw and she really did have to die is worth quite a bit more.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2008-08-05 20:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yesh
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-08-15 00:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha. way to 'figure me out' rob, you douche. im sure you spent a whole lot of time, sitting in the big chair in your den, wearing your smoking jacket, puffing on your pipe and casually sipping on some fine cognac while ponding the mysteries of internet personas and how they relate to wilful ignorance, and how you can then put that into your next groundbreaking ubersite essay.
your brother died and you probably didnt even get to say goodbye.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-08-11 17:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"just the fact that a dude was driving a Miata should've been enough of a warning"
What is it about that car? I wonder if they make you take some kind of asshole test before they'll sell you one.
Question
While driving on the freeway, you encounter an accident. One man lies unconscious on the pavement. You:
a) Move the man off to the shoulder, away from traffic.
b) Never move an unconscious man. You set up road flares and direct traffic away from the injured man until medics arrive.
c) Check his pulse. If he has no pulse, begin CPR.
d) Speed up and miss hitting the injured man by a matter of inches. Honk as you drive by in an attempt to "wake him up" so he may see how cool you are in your new Miata.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-06 16:36:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-08-06 02:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know why i dont care what you think of me, rob? cause its a fuckin website and i have enough of a hold on sanity to understand that. you dont know anyone from here, anywhere near as much as you think.
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heh.
You have 'enough of a hold on sanity'?
How poetically unfortunate for you. I'm perfectly sane.
One day you'll come to realize that you are a but a few seconds of pseudo intellectual glee for me. Your bitter little pissy pants routine makes me smile - the fact you are so transparently unhappy and such a genuinely miserable little fuckwad is karmically amusing.
It really bugs ya that I have you all figured out, huh? How glorious.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-08-06 11:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-08-06 02:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know why i dont care what you think of me, rob? cause its a fuckin website and i have enough of a hold on sanity to understand that. you dont know anyone from here, anywhere near as much as you think.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-08-05 00:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-04 20:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So you gave away a ball, and then let a guy into your lane... And based on the feelings of these two moments you've decided to give up on the goodness of humanity?
I know there are probably other moments in (your) life that would have done it, but the fact of the matter is that you chose these two mundane points in which to describe why you now chose to be selfish for the rest of your life. If these two examples constitute your reasoning then you lead a very sheltered life, devoid of any real hardship. Grow a set of balls, man up, and take some fucking responsibility, and try to make this world a better place to live for everyone, not just yourself.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-04 14:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh:
The level to which your anger and disdain extends (is) far beyond whatever limited words you choose to share with us on this deplorable little website.
Two little letters make a big difference in that sentence.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-04 13:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-08-04 11:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-03 05:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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serioisly. choke on some more cock, you fucking tool.
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never be nice again, unless it possibly helps you gain somehow. no one else is looking out for you, why are you trying to be their friend?
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Do you really question why/how I KNOW yer a miserable human being both online and off?
You are a sad sack of issues my bitter little cheat code. The level to which your anger and disdain extends far beyond whatever limited words you choose to share with us on this deplorable little website. You are simply an unhappy person and it shows each time one of your greasy little fingers slaps the keyboard.
I'd actually feel sorry for you but from everything I can tell - its karma.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-08-04 11:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-03 05:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I completely disagree with your entire philosophy... and I guess even your general outlook on life.
This was very well written and I think you are genuine enough - if not incredibly shallow. I would argue that most people feel the way you do - and don't you find that a little sad?
You are actually getting pissed off about being civil - I guarantee you've been the asshole creeping along 3 lanes of traffic at least once in your life - I sure have. Shit happens and being polite, civil, nice, generous, accepting, forgiving? Well... none of that shit feels bad does it? Sure we get dumped on by idiots and retards all the time - people are always trying to take advantage of each other - it's hard-coded into our DNA. Doesn't mean that WE have to become too affected by it, or limit our own attempts to spread a little joy instead of just being a miserable fucking cunt all the time.
Periodic outbursts of cunticity ARE rather enjoyable, however... it's a bit of a grey area - I just enjoy being a nice guy.
And a raging homost.
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serioisly. choke on some more cock, you fucking tool.
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never be nice again, unless it possibly helps you gain somehow. no one else is looking out for you, why are you trying to be their friend?
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2007-08-04 00:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I went from being the worlds nicest guy and getting shit on. To being a raging dick and still not being that great. Being nice is only good for those who deserve it.
word of advise. The coolest kids are the kids who were never cool.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-03 12:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
riveting
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-03 11:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so where do u live now?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-03 09:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's true.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-03 08:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-08-03 08:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Try smiling.
the warm glow actually outweighs the cost.
Submitted by big_spliff_smoker (user info) at 2007-08-03 08:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah being nice gets you no-where in life, yet still i generally am as much as possible (escept, as mentioned below, on the fucking london underground at rush hour, i swear i don't even look forward to leaving work cause of it), I need to grow a real mean streak.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-08-03 05:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, I try to be curteous at all times, barring the hours of 8-9am amd 5.30-6.30 pm, Mon-Fri, when I set foot on London's underground. Then it's every man for himself and I will happily elbow any little old lady who gets in my way and stops me walking at MY pace. No wonder everyone thinks London's full of cunts when they experience them at their worst.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-03 05:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I completely disagree with your entire philosophy... and I guess even your general outlook on life.
This was very well written and I think you are genuine enough - if not incredibly shallow. I would argue that most people feel the way you do - and don't you find that a little sad?
You are actually getting pissed off about being civil - I guarantee you've been the asshole creeping along 3 lanes of traffic at least once in your life - I sure have. Shit happens and being polite, civil, nice, generous, accepting, forgiving? Well... none of that shit feels bad does it? Sure we get dumped on by idiots and retards all the time - people are always trying to take advantage of each other - it's hard-coded into our DNA. Doesn't mean that WE have to become too affected by it, or limit our own attempts to spread a little joy instead of just being a miserable fucking cunt all the time.
Periodic outbursts of cunticity ARE rather enjoyable, however... it's a bit of a grey area - I just enjoy being a nice guy.
And a raging homost.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-03 04:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm slowly subscribing to this after spending the past 24 years being a generally nice guy.
Being a friend to everybody means being a dick to yourself.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-08-03 04:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A horror story if there ever was one.
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-08-03 04:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110705
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-08-03 04:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THis has always been my philosophy in life
Submitted by CrazyHatLady (user info) at 2007-08-03 04:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you. Damn those kids who steal balls.