"The Carrion Eaters" Part one. (1371 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.78 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2007-11-08 02:09:43 EST
Danny and Laura had been walking for days. The sun beat down on them continuously, turning their flesh into a hardened mess, darkened and painful to the touch. And yet they continued to walk, searching for something, anything, anyone to speak to or to just verify that life was still going on.
They left Albany just before the bombs came. They got halfway towards Amsterdam on the thruway before a stray Electromagnetic-Pulse round crashed close to their car, bringing it to a halt. They evacuated the old Chevy immediately and took to the outer edges of the road, laying low whenever they saw a machine in the air.
It had been a long time since they had seen any machines; a very long time since they had seen any people. Danny was beginning to get anxious, but Laura knew how to calm him down. Their evenings were spent huddled in the grass at the edge of any woods they could find for cover. She would stroke his long brown hair and snuggle with him until he fell asleep. Then she would go out in search of food. She wouldn't stray far, and she would always come back with a little morsel of something for them both. Some berries, or a small rodent that they could cook up the next morning over a small fire they would build. She never thought that smoking would be such a lucky thing for her. Not because the cigarettes were good, but because she had always carried two lighters. The lighters were coming in handy for building the small fires that they needed to survive.
The cigarettes were running low. It was almost time to quit.
They rarely strayed from the thruway. The thought of running into a patrol, or being seen by any number of desperate individuals was too much for her. Danny was only ten after all, and she didn't like to think of what she had to do the last time they encountered a few desperate, hungry, and insane people. The thought of killing didn't really appeal to her and she lost any compassion that she had left after she had been forced to protect herself and Danny one day at a rest stop they had ventured into to see if there was any food or water.
There ended up being food, but not after a struggle. They ended up running from that rest stop after she had wounded both the men that were trying to assault them. That evening she doubled back and finished the job with a spear she had fashioned out of a tree branch she had found. While both men slept she stabbed them repeatedly. While Danny slept, she became a murderer. She had then grabbed whatever food that was there and brought it back for them to share.
It was the last real meal they had eaten and it had been three weeks of eating berries and whatever small animals that she could kill with that spear.
As they walked, they occasionally came across these big green signs that would tell them how far it was to certain towns. When they got about 10 miles outside of Utica, Laura urged Danny to be very careful and not to stray from her. She was always on the lookout for trouble, and being closer to a city meant the chance for an encounter with a living being. Even though she hadn't seen a single living soul in a few weeks, she was still careful when they were approaching towns. She always said to him, "You never know what might happen, Danny. You've always got to be alert." Danny would nod his head and laugh, marveling at how careful she always was, wondering in his ten year old mind if they were ever going to get back to normal again.
They reached the outskirts of Utica in the evening. As it had been getting dark, Laura noticed something that had brought a feeling of dread into the pit of her stomach. Danny had seen it too and had gotten very excited. "Look Mom, A FIRE!" He said as he pointed to the horizon where the buildings of town were just beginning to sprout up. Laura didn't like the fire. She was also hoping that Danny couldn't smell what she was smelling. To her the air smelled like burning disease. It was a smell that reminded her of how it smelled behind her Uncle Franks barn when she was a kid. It reminded her of the time she had happened upon the remains of the cows that Uncle Frank had slaughtered. Evidently their heads had been laying there awhile and the air was thick with decay.
The air surrounding Utica smelled the same exact way, except for the decay was burning.
She slowed her walk a little and grabbed Danny's hand. Reflexively, Danny grabbed back. He could sense her nervousness and knew that they were going to venture into this town to see if they could find something, anything to help them survive. At the exit ramp they cut across the grass and headed for the nearest shelter, a building that was adjacent to the thruway toll booths. They crept up to it silently and Laura listened. Hearing nothing, she walked up and tried the door. It opened smoothly and they both entered. As she shut and locked the door, she listened again to see if she could hear anybody hiding in the shadows of the room. She heard nothing and as they walked from room to room, she found no sign of life. She did find a couple of small cots though and a small supply of bottled water in a back room. It had been a long time since they had a drink of anything out of a bottle and they drank their fill. Then they sat there in the dark and watched the glow of the fires through the front window of the building.
Danny fell asleep in her arms that night. She fell asleep soon after, clutching him like a life size teddy bear and feeling the comfort that her only son could bring.
She didn't know how long she had been sleeping when she was awakened by a terrible screaming sound. She jolted awake, nearly knocking Danny to the floor. "Jeez Mom," Danny had said to her. "What's going on?"She shushed him softly with two finger from her right hand over his lips and she cocked her head to one side trying to hear where the screams had come from. It was still dark and she could see the glow of the fires in the distance. They seemed more intense to her, more alive than before. She was straining to see out through the windows when she heard another scream, this one louder than before. Danny jumped when he heard it and clutched tightly to his moms arm. It seemed to Laura that the scream came from just outside the building they were in. She got up silently from her position on the cot and walked slowly up to the window, gesturing for Danny to stay where he was. As she approached the window she was scanning the road outside, looking at the toll booths to see if anyone was around them. Then she saw some movement just up the street.
A man was running down the street that ran perpendicular to the toll exit road. He was yelling and screaming loudly and it looked like he was dragging something behind him. He took an abrupt right turn and started to run down the exit road and cross between the toll booths. He was screaming wildly and, for a moment, Laura looked over at Danny who was crouched very low behind the cot they had just been sleeping on. Laura looked back out the window and watched as the man ran by, screaming at the top of his lungs and dragging a dead man behind him as he did. Laura's heart stopped for a moment as she could see pieces of something flying off the body that the man was dragging. Her stomach was beginning to turn at the sight when all of a sudden the running man stopped and looked directly over to the building she was in.
Laura knew that he couldn't see her from where he was.The shadows were too thick and the distance too great. She watched as he cocked his head and then lifted his nose into the air as if he were smelling something. Then she watched as the man turned to the body he had been dragging. Laura could see that the body was mangled beyond any kind of recognition. Limbs were flailed out in awkward directions and the flesh seemed to be ragged and torn. She looked from the body to the man and watched as he let out a yell and buried his face into the corpse. Her stomach turned a somersault as she could see the man ripping into the nasty flesh, pulling his head back while gnawing at the mouthful of mangled meat. She could see him in the glow of the fire looking around as he ate and she finally realized what the smell was that she had experienced earlier. When the man stopped eating, he quickly got up and started running back down the street from whence he came. His screams were louder and more ferocious sounding to her and she watched until he had disappeared down the street, filthy corpse still dragging behind him like some surreal kids toy.
She checked the lock on the door and then went back over to Danny. As she took him in her arms she realized that he was shaking. He greedily grabbed onto her and looked up into her beautiful blue eyes. "What was out there mom?" He asked. "Nothing Danny," was all she replied.
"How could nothing make you look so scared?" He said as he buried his face into her chest. looking for comfort. "It was nothing Danny, now try and go back to sleep," she said as she stroked his hair as gently as her shaking fingers could.
Danny did manage to go back to sleep. She never did. She spent the entire next three hours waiting for the man to come back. As dawn surfaced over the town and dimmed the light of the fires, Laura decided it was best if they moved on towards Syracuse.
To be continued.....
User Reviews
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-26 00:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:20:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hadley, I cannot lie. It was two o'clock A.M. and I wrote this exactly as I saw it, or as she saw it. It doesn't translate as well as it should, but I think it gives a nice herky-jerky type feel to what she was going through. Thanks for the feedback.
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A little late on the uptake here, I know. But I agree: I like the herky-jerky feel of this piece. It captures the mood. Nice work.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-21 17:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by iacobus (user info) at 2008-02-08 17:13:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-12-07 11:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
btw frigdyke, this was a shit post/series. and daniel I hope you drown. in your she's my cherry pie hair.
i'm serious.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-12-07 11:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's 2:30 in the morning, I've just stood outside in the midst of an amazing electrical storm, I watched the usually sloth-like, give a fuck possums skitter across the fence line like they had a lightening rod up their arse, stepped backwards involuntarily as the fat raindrops pelted down, and surmised this is the best country in the world. It's nearly christmas, and it's humid as fuck, will get worse, and we'll have seafood on the 25th.
tough life.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-12-07 11:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good luck with everything Daniel.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2007-12-05 18:52:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written and compelling opening to what will hopefully be an epic (post-apocalyptic?) tale, Mike. For whatever reason I saw Danny's mom as Linda Hamilton- remember that pump-action 12-gauge from Terminator she handled so smoothly?
(Pardon the public service announcemen... We've been rebuilding down here on the Gulf for years now, and have, for the most part, depended on locals taking time off work: weekend carpenters, donated wood and so many volunteer clean up crews, et cetra, rather than our inept government.
Much (in Alabama, ((Mississippi esp.- thanks to the greedy ca$ino owners from the West building a "Little Las Vegas" in Biloxi))- and Louisiana), has been accomplished, but we have a long way to go. It's very satisfying to see an entire block rebuilt, the lights coming on at night for the first time in years, where a displaced family has returned "home".
For any of you wondering how you might help in the rebuilding, go to:
http://www.makeitrightnola.org/mir_SUB.php?section=donate&page=main
or http://www.makeitrightnola.org/mir_SUB.php?section=pink&page=main
If these links doesn't work- they should, but they're not looking clickable for some reason, go to "makeitrightnola.org" to send whatever you can. Five dollars can help buy two workers' lunch- trust me on that.
-Peace and love to you all, d
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-29 01:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-28 07:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so you gonna continue this or what?
Yes, when real life gives me a break.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-28 07:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so you gonna continue this or what?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-11-23 14:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not sure how I missed this one. Great job.
Submitted by bruzwuld (user info) at 2007-11-22 14:59:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-11-09 08:25:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What makes this creepy is that I know exactly the buildings you were describing. And the fact you have them heading my way, isn't helping any.
Keep them further east till I get back.
**logs off to go buy shotgun**
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-09 04:32:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2007-11-08 22:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Write more soon! Good to see some quality content!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-08 20:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bookmark +2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-11-08 19:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah. Is it safe?
I like your style. Must get back to reading more sincere posts in this place.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-11-08 18:48:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"She really isn't a shotgun toting kinda woman."
Wait, wait. She'll stab two men to death in their sleep with a homemade spear but she won't carry a shotgun?!
That's a woman for ya.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-11-08 15:25:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
BigMike, you need to read Stephen King's "Cell"
I think you would love it.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-08 15:07:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I look forward to part 2
shotgun or not...:)
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-08 14:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-08 14:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
A bit awkward at first
I'd have managed to find a shotgun too...everybody's got one
according to bono
She really isn't a shotgun toting kinda woman. She may be ultimately, but she is not now.
I've had this title banging around in my head for weeks and I got sick of saying it over and over again trying to come up with a story. I figured the best way to get it our of me was to just sit down and start writing. I played poker last night and got home at about 11:45. I sat down at the computer, hit submit, and started typing. I leave the title part blank now in case I hit enter by mistake. In any event, I liked what came out and after a quick proof, I submitted this.
I took about two hours and I was really keyed up after writing it because it has potential to be an interesting story, for me anyway.
Thanks for the feedback.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-08 14:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
A bit awkward at first
I'd have managed to find a shotgun too...everybody's got one
according to bono
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-11-08 13:36:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
After finding two electrocuted rats in my oven last night, I could smell the smell.
Nice job !
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-11-08 11:08:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-11-08 11:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't recall if I've read anything of yours before. There's a nice, easy flow to this. Not pretentious at all. I like it.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-08 10:07:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-08 10:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmmmm new fiction.
Yes, something that seems to be lacking here on Uber lately. :)
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice of you to provide some "carrion" to go with my coffee this morning. I really enjoyed this.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:49:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, look I haven't even read this yet but the title refers to uberusers right?
I'll come back and read it for real later. Promise.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmmmm new fiction.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:20:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-11-08 03:25:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
picayune suggestion #1: further research needed on Electromagnetic-Pulse weapon operation and end result(s) of such
Point well taken. They probably should have gotten a flat tire or ran out of gas. It's the little things that make a piece nice to read, or not so nice.
*******************************************************
Hadley, I cannot lie. It was two o'clock A.M. and I wrote this exactly as I saw it, or as she saw it. It doesn't translate as well as it should, but I think it gives a nice herky-jerky type feel to what she was going through. Thanks for the feedback.
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:08:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-11-08 08:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You might want to re-read how awkward this is...unless it's intentional. In which case I'll just fuck off.
A man was running down the street that ran perpendicular to the toll exit road. He was yelling and screaming loudly and it looked like he was dragging something behind him. He took an abrupt right turn and started to run down the exit road and cross between the toll booths. He was screaming wildly and, for a moment, Laura looked over at Danny who was crouched very low behind the cot they had just been sleeping on. Laura looked back out the window and watched as the man ran by, screaming at the top of his lungs and dragging a dead man behind him as he did. Laura's heart stopped for a moment as she could see pieces of something flying off the body that the man was dragging. Her stomach was beginning to turn at the sight when all of a sudden the running man stopped and looked directly over to the building she was in.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-11-08 03:25:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
picayune suggestion #1: further research needed on Electromagnetic-Pulse weapon operation and end result(s) of such
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-08 03:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
apocalypse = auto +2
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2007-11-08 02:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok i need to know what happens with carlo. i have been waiting patiently for 2 years i think and got nothing
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-08 02:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-08 02:29:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm working on Carlo, I'm just not putting it here.
I will finish this even though it may take some time.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2007-11-08 02:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is this going to end up the same way as carlo? cuz if so i am going to stop reading now
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-08 02:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-11-08 02:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done Mr President.
Why thank you Mr. Vice President. I appreciate it.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-11-08 02:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done Mr President.