I would make a rubbish super hero (1849 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.71 on 96 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LittleMonster (View user info) at 2008-05-14 11:35:45 EDT
They come at night, always from around 10pm onwards. The little hooded bandits, with their baggie jeans and cheap cider. Thursday last week was no different. The horrid scrots always approach in the same way, half cut and being over boisterous. They are still at the age where watching a badly produced slash movie and drunkenly wobbling down to the boat yard for some cheap scares is fun.
I stealthy flicked out the lights and peered out the window. There were seven of them this time, that's usually more than I take on, but I had been getting better of late and I was evilly bored. The security guard had recently fixed their access point in the fence and it had taken them a while to find a new way in. I did a little jig and glanced over to the contractor.
He knew what was coming and my fiancé groaned as I began to rummage in a locker for my outdoor wear.
"Can't you give them a break? I mean, what harm are they really doing? I'll be putting dinner on soon, I'm not cooking so it can go cold waiting for you to get back"
I just smiled at him as I donned my wellies and giant black poncho. With a couple of swift movements I snapped on my industrial black gloves, then eased my dust mask into place.
"You're sick LittleMonster. Why can't you just grumble and complain about them as everyone else does?"
It's nothing personal against the small groups of underage drinkers. They only come down here to avoid being herded on by the police, but I know that it's not the only reason. They like the atmosphere; most of them get spooked out and leave after a few cans anyway. I just don't like it when they chuck bottles at the boats and use spray cans on the hulls. Which was becoming a bit of a problem of late.
With my outfit complete I snuck off the boat and worked my way between the cradles, until I reached the bridge at the end of the yard. I snuggled myself into the arch of the bridge and waited. The group wasn't far from where I was hiding. I made sure I had got a firm grip on the triangle scrapper I had picked up on my way out and when they got settled and began drinking in earnest, I snuck closer. Once I was in reasonable sight I ran at them screaming and waving the rather menacing tool around. My wellies were squelching and the poncho flapped in the breeze.
Now usually this has the desired effect. The little bastards scatter like rabbits and fuck off to vandalise somewhere else.
Not this time.
Instead one of them (possibly the brightest of the lot) grabbed quite a large rock a hurled it at me. The William Wallace of the group got me right in the boob with it. Understandably it brought me up short. It was that hesitation that prompted the group to decide I wasn't scary at all and so they began running at me, screaming in a lot more menacing fashion than I could muster. I took off in the direction of people and the security office. I ran like a little girl down the yard, whilst the screamed abuse at my back. Now if some nutter ran at me with something sharp and deadly looking, I would wet myself on the spot. Not try take them on. To my defence there were seven of them and teenage boys are wiry, so don't tell me I should have stood my ground. I ran as fast as I could and they still nearly caught me.
I was only saved from a kicking by the security guard running over to see what going on. It turns out he had seen them come in on the CCTV and called the police. He had also seen me sulking around and attempting to attack them.
Thankfully the security man likes me and let me scarper before the police arrived. The kids bolted at the mention of them. I got a request the next day asking if I could keep my crazed vigilante antics out the yard.
I found my way back to the boat where the contractor looked amused and ever so slightly dark at the same time.
"Tell me that siren wasn't anything to do with you".
"I could tell you that, but I would be lying." I replied whilst kicking of my wellies.
"Are they pressing charges?"
"Not this time. Is dinner ready yet?" I tried to ask innocently as I rubbed the growing bruise on my boob.
User Reviews
Submitted by Naery (user info) at 2008-05-18 10:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 for the story, thought it was lame and overattempted.
however, PLUS FOUR for the photo of a hovering guy in blue. check that shit out, he's not even breaking a sweat and he's keeping his shit off the ground. how does he do that? do those feathery things actually work? fuch. I need to drink less...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-16 16:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh don't get me wrong. I like 'em big, too.
Submitted by DaBeast (user info) at 2008-05-16 12:56:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How very... British... and strange...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-05-15 09:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-15 09:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Monder is not an Alter.
Things sound good lovely lady. Next time dont wear wellies they really arent the get away shoe really.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-05-15 07:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Instead one of them (possibly the brightest of the lot) grabbed quite a large rock a hurled it at me. The William Wallace of the group got me right in the boob with it
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He could hardly miss my dear.
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TROOF!
Also, I wonder why the guys in that picture are wearing wrestling shoes. That seems like an odd choice for a gay native american vigilante parade.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-15 06:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-15 11:39:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Twas but a joke beano. I don't hate myself enough yet to post my boobs on uber. Or send pics out. Give it time though, the longer I'm here the further my self loathing grows.
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*Sits patiently tapping fingers on desk and glancing at the calendar*
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-15 06:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Twas but a joke beano. I don't hate myself enough yet to post my boobs on uber. Or send pics out. Give it time though, the longer I'm here the further my self loathing grows.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-15 06:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-15 09:26:02 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fakey: Email me for boob shot.
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*cough*
erm.... we ALL want boob shots madam.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucksake, I'm such a loser. I hate it when that happens.
Please accept my humble apoligies. I'm a bit tired this morning and I was bound to fail at something.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-15 04:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha you rated yourself +2 below.
You cocky so-and-so! ;o)
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-15 04:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well...I don't know what to say. Two years I've been here and this is the first time I've been called an alter. I guess my initiation is compleate....except showing Shlongy my hole, that is.
FG,Derkins: If Rob_Berg was about I'd make him design costumes. I think if it is going to be a global war, I may change a scraper for a nail gun though. Can we recruit skrap and Shadow as well? Skrap sounds like the kinda guy you would want on your side (plus he has a new side kick) and Shadow has the survival instinct.
Fakey: Email me for boob shot.
Hotwillie: You had me at hello.
Ta for the reviews from the rest of you!
JoeyG: x
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-15 04:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-15 02:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty is just upset that you scared the shit out of him at the docks and he wishes to apologise for throwing that rock.
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HA HA!
Tickled.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-15 02:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty is just upset that you scared the shit out of him at the docks and he wishes to apologise for throwing that rock.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-14 18:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It depends on what your superhero costume looked like.
If those globes of yours were hanging out all over the place, mostly in my face, I think you'd do alright.
Short of that, I lost interest.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LM.... keepin' the vigilante spirit alive since..... oh, I don't know, god knows when.
I once challenged a group of kids who were hurling rocks in my street.
When I figured they were aiming at the greenhouse of the Rastafarian cunt across the road, I figured......
(wait for it)
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
Then I realised they were all just little fuckers out for shits and giggles. So I pissed on their chips and threatened to tell social services they were out after curfew.
It was like Exodus in the Bible, except without Moses.
Maybe I'm the new Moses?
If I've had a curry the night before, I can part the crowds just as well as he could part the red sea.
Maybe I'm just babbling.
D'ya hear the one about Bambi and the Burmese Junta?
Prolly not.
I'll keep my mouth shut in future.
p.s I was just joking about keeping my mouth shut.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I avoid at all costs games where it is possible to lose a testicle.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Skrap: yer the rat cycle guy right?
any suggestions on a inexpensive mid-range paintball rig that can be modified for "sniper" fire?
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That'd be me.
Any 'marker' can be improved, really. The ones I've modified I've bought at pawnshops and have been of several brands. In organized games, rifled barrels help but not as much as consistant gas pressure. I've made removeable extended barrels that help accuracy, but speed is the thing. With the .68 caliber paintballs, over 400 ft/sec and the airflow is turbulent around the paintball, like a golf ball leaving the tee. Paintball flies pretty straight with little drop. At about 250-300 ft/sec the flow becomes laminar and the air friction increases dramatically, like how the same golfball drops like a stone after 250 yards or so. This kills accuracy because it's very difficult to predict when (how far out) the drop will occur. Crank the speed and keep your targets in the flat trajectory zone, you'll hit them about every time.
If you have two 'markers' you can set one up for sniper work (bigger tank, high speed) and the other for closer exchanges (lower speed, higher rate of fire). Be sure you know which is which and can switch between them quickly if you're carrying both.
Note: the higher the speed, the more likely it is that the paintball will be damaged in accelerating while still in the gun. This is where extended barrels and freezing the paintballs comes in.
Note: freezing paintballs and cranking up the pressure is fine for shooing away dogs and children or hunting teenage drunks around your boat, but if you're in an organized game you'll get the boot for that kind of shenanigans and rightly so. 400 ft/sec with a frozen paintball can seriously injure your target. It's all fun and games until someone loses a testicle.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do you think Monster is a "her?" Pictures are a dime a dozen.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that doesn't make her any less worthy of our respect
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 21:17:56 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wilie, Monster is a fucking alter. I know whose, as well.
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Wrong.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wilie, Monster is a fucking alter. I know whose, as well.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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HotWillie, tit freak.
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guilty as charged
still this was a good read and i'm offended you would imply breast size has something to do with this rating
little monster is a person who deserves better and uber should validate her worth as such
she also is much younger than jk rowling in case anyone thinks otherwise
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
=====================
HotWillie, tit freak.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Skrap: yer the rat cycle guy right?
any suggestions on a inexpensive mid-range paintball rig that can be modified for "sniper" fire?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
--
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-05-14 14:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in sympathy pain with you, getting smacked in the boob hurts like a bastard. I've always wanted to sit on my roof with a paintball gun and pick off all the little mini-thugs and prostitots in my neighbourhood. I think that would be great fun. Shall we form our own superhero team with FG? You can be armed with home improvement implements, FG with her rock salt shotgun and I with a high speed, laser sight paintball gun.
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Skip the laser sight - they can see where you are if you use it. Use night vision gogs if it's dark.
Crank the gas pressure on the gun to get the speed over 400 ft/sec for vastly improved range and accuacy.
Freeze the paintballs so they don't break in the barrel and have better energy transfer to your target.
Stay in single-shot sniper mode until they realize they're being hunted, and switch to full auto only once they're scattering.
I give lessons, if you're interested.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-05-14 14:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. u/n: icarus1987 p/w: carsl1sle
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:50:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Derkins, HELL YES!
Let's do it!
Crystle can thwart them with her anfry jelus ray gun.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop hacking my style, Derkins. I started the whole "killing/torturing/annoying" teenagers thing like two years back, and I have WAY more advanced weaponry, plus a gay cat, a pharmacist wife, and a sister with military ties. You guys are just lame feminist knock-offs. I'm Michael Keaton Batman, whereas you guys are all George Clooney in drag.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in sympathy pain with you, getting smacked in the boob hurts like a bastard. I've always wanted to sit on my roof with a paintball gun and pick off all the little mini-thugs and prostitots in my neighbourhood. I think that would be great fun. Shall we form our own superhero team with FG? You can be armed with home improvement implements, FG with her rock salt shotgun and I with a high speed, laser sight paintball gun.
We'll have to include Crystle so she won't get anfry or jelus.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was absolutely sweet. Though I've taken up pond gardening anf volunteering at the local wildlife preserve and women's shelter, one of my greatest an most productive hobbies has been making the local teenagers' lives just a little less enjoyable. I do this through paintball mortars, spy cameras, the kind of motion-sensitive sprinklers they use to scare away deer, and the mosquito frequency. They say the mosquito frequency can cause permanent damage to children over an extended period of time... but that's more a "them" problem.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:34:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually two Brits had a large hand in the development of the intrawebs. Nobody single handedly "invented" it.
Also, With a name like Cilfone, Bart's probably a fucking Wop. So his inventing of Ubersite is a slap to all Americans of English decent who wish to claim inventing the internet and, therefor, ubersite.
My previous sentiment still stands, however.
WE LEFT THAT ISLAND TO GET AWAY FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We're stealing Uber from your cold dead hands.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We left that island, setteled America, invented the internet, then Ubersite, ALL SO WE COULD GET AWAY FROM YOU FUCKERS.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
What's with all the fucking Brits on this site these days.
Jesus.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahah!
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pssh.
According to Wikipedia, Baltimore is ranked #2 for murder. Happens every day.
The mayor got on the horn this past week and asked the city to "keep the numbers low" since last year May and June were the "bloodiest months." Apparently it would be good for morale if we stopped offing each other.
I never worry about it, because I can't. I just wouldn't be able to live a happy life if I had to worry about every crack head on my block with a chiv. You just have to hope you have your running shoes on when they come for you.
It also helps to stay the hell off of any street with a blue light overhead. Don't even stop for the red lights, just go. The police will not give you a ticket for running a red light in the blue-light districts, they're just happy they're not bagging your body.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-05-14 13:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
picture of the injured boob or it didn't happen.
pls?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The William Wallace of the group got me right in the boob with it.
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Not much chance of it causing much damage with the cushioning youve got on those mams
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Exactly. It looks like I proof read it! :)
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you kidding Orphy. This had some glaring errors. I would laugh at your statement, except that I did my own proof reading.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like were not allowed to rate below +2.
Compliments to the proof reader.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Quite. Anyway, you're thinking about what I've said and that's all I can ask for I suppose.
Be careful.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Got out of the wrong side of bed and bad geography below.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd say that your battered breast is providing loud testimony against the effectivness of your campaign.
Perhaps you could enlist the aid of Beano 'Action Jackson' the Fat Cunt of Buckinghamshire to terrorise them into submission. Doubt it'd work though, seeing as they've mastered the art of running and throwing rocks.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:42:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*shrug* I don't know how useful the local council is, I'd guess not very but you could try them. Or perhaps whoever owns the dock, the landlord. Or it could be as simple meeting with the other local boat owners and getting everyone to install security lights.
Seriously; lighting is such a simple and straightforward method of discouraging groups of youths. All they want is somewhere clandestine to carry on.
*thinks*
I guess in a way I kind of sympathise with the youths as well. They want a place away from adults where they can be youths, they don't neccesarily want to hassle anyone. It's just that youths are really dumb and when they're being themselves they can cause problems like disturbance and property damage.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So it turns out Berty is a gert big poof.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you for your concern Berty. It's sweet that you worry. The thing is, this is working. The yard has taken care of it anyway now. It was only over the quiet winter months that security is a bit slack.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well there's two reasons. First and foremost I'm worried about you, I want you to be safe and happy. Secondly I've seen a lot of these posts and always the usual comments of "WOO YEAH, FUCK EM' UP!" get bandied about but very rarely do people actually consider actual solutions that will work and that just gets up my nose.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
JOIN US BERTRAM: http://youtube.com/watch?v=x_A3VkHwkjo
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
berty's worried about you getting kicked to death, littlemongster. i hear it's become a favorite pass-time of your limey hoodlums.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hang on, I'm supposed to pay for lighting all over the yard? And for speakers? You kidding me.
Ah, you're yanking my chain. Good work Berty. Bravo. I bit.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also I'd like to add that I've put forward two ways of actually dealing with the problem. I am sorry if actual solutions to problems aren't as fun or 'personally empowering' as you might like.
Welcome to the real world. Please find a safer way to get your jollies, both for your own benefit and for my own peace of mind.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FG I would crease myself!
Berty doesn't understand, most of them come down here to be scared. What's wrong with scaring them?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Berty, it's about stopping the little shits from causing damage around here, because it could be my boat next. What's wrong with having some fun whilst doing it at the same time? It's just fun with a good objective.
Why do you have such a pole up your arse about this?
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wouldn't it be great if when my hooligans vandalise some grave, an angry wraith rises up from the ground and eats one of their souls?
I know I'd laugh.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So... this is about the adventure then? The thrill?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Jesus!
Ok, just lock yourself away in your homes, huddle down on the floor pissing yourself in fear and dialing the police, peering out the windows and hoping that the damage isn't too costly.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The other option is to buy a good looking fake gun. You can get a decent one for about £70, which makes a proper gun fire sound as well. Works wonders.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Berty, it's just not the appropriate responce for you.
Lighten the fuck up, not everything is doom and gloom out there. Maybe is you got out your flat once in a while you'd realise this.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
epic fail
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty, you are what is wrong with 'Thug Britain' - apart from the thugs, of course.
You would just close your curtains and hope they harass someone else. Strap on a pair and stand up to the fuckers and maybe next time they'll think twice before knifing some poor buggers tires.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fair point Hurty, but I was never going to hurt anyone. It was supposed to look like a silly version of scream. I'm not trying to make anyone run home and call the police!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Plus there's such a thing as a joke taken too far. Even if they're regular kids they might find out it's you messing with them and what then?
Why, japery of course. How hilarious will it be when it's 3 in the morning and they're throwing rocks at your windows? How hilarious will it be when you're walking around town, doing your weekly shop and they come out of school to follow you about? Short answer, in case you hadn't guessed, is that it won't be.
So then you'll have all this stress and tension. You'll have to find out who they are and take the matter up with their school and their families and ultimatley the larger community and for what?
Best case scenario is just loads of pointless and upsetting hassle for everyone. Don't deal with the problem on a personal level, that's not the appropriate response.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop it now Berty. It's just a bit of fun. Stop being so paraniod. Your concern is touching, but really, if everyone pllayed by your rules of saftey and downright anal fear of other human beings, no one would have any fun at all.
I don't "put" myself in danger as you say. It's just that maybe I'm not such a pussy.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
preemptive 2
will read later xx
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm with you LM, though I'd have taken something better than a fucking scraper. Take a bat next time and panel some wee cunt.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You don't know them though, do you? Yes they're probably just ordinary kids up to 1950's style mischief, but there might be some crazy bastard who's dad's an alcoholic who batters his mum all the time in the next group. Maybe his crazyness results in him throwing something glass into your face.
The point is you don't know. There are better ways of dealing with this problem anyway.
Does it not matter though? Is this whole thing just an excuse to put yourself into potential danger or something? Is there more to it?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh comeone Berty, they were laughing as they ran off. They were kids! Only about 13-14. Come on. They've up security for the summer anyway. jeeze.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Right, yeah, seriously stop doing that worrying stuff. Ace as it would be for you to stop posting for about 18 months and then come back to Uber telling us about how you were beaten and raped by a gang of teenagers from broken homes, I'd rather you didn't.
If you're really bothered about it then do something useful like setting up better lighting throughout the dock or cameras that can see in the dark with speakers on so your man in the little hut can shout at them.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Once in high school my dad and I scared off a pack of kids attempting to toilet paper our house.
As revenge, we planned to toilet paper the house of the kid who arranged this little plot and we ended up TPing the house next to his on accident...therefore making us eligible for the douche award.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-14 12:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This needs spandex god damn it.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would also like to note that over the course of this post I have come to the conclusion I am completely unable to paint my own toenails.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
They are still at the age where watching a badly produced slash movie and drunkenly wobbling down to the boat yard for some cheap scares is fun.
==========
That shit is always fun.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I, too, would make a garbage super hero.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the links CT!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And here, if you can't get to that one: http://www.sturkwurk.com/bozo/pro/pro11.htm
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgot the link reference, it's from a radio program here in the states: http://www.bobandtom.com/gen3/sg_win.htm
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:45:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FG - I want your babies
Fallen - It's a very sharp tool used for stripping varnish, wrenching apart rotten fixings etc. It's an all purpose thing. I just realised I spelt it wrong. SCRAPER.
Epic fail. Sorry.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 10:42:15 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry. Camwhore is to come, I will try get one of me as a superhero. That would be fun!
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+2s for life if you pose as "Shirtless Girl" ®
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry. Camwhore is to come, I will try get one of me as a superhero. That would be fun!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even though you and I live clear across the pond from one another, I think I also have these same hooligans.
Mine come much later, like 1 to 2 am. Late teens to 20.
I live behind a graveyard so after they finish vandalising graves, they spill out into the neighborhood.
Usually a "HEY YOU LITTLE FUCKERS, THE COPS ARE ON THEIR WAY! FUCK OFF!" shouted out the window usually works.
However, I would love to become a vigilante and load up a shotgun with some rock salt.
Shotgun + rock salt + dead on buttocks shots = great fun!
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what's a triangle scrapper?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're going to have an awful lot of disappointed chaps who were expecting a camwhore of you in spandex, based on the title alone. :(
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I grinned all the way through this :o)
Your poor boob.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-14 11:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Instead one of them (possibly the brightest of the lot) grabbed quite a large rock a hurled it at me. The William Wallace of the group got me right in the boob with it
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He could hardly miss my dear.