Uber Directory 2008 (No content) (2227 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.38 on 127 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LittleMonster (View user info) at 2008-05-30 03:42:55 EDT
Well, first things first. This is not a boob shot. Yes, I am aware most of you have buggered off to look at something more interesting now. That's fine; I'm OK with that. Considering I had to bully the contractor into taking this picture, I thought boobs really ought to be left out of it. For all those who are going to grumble about it and the fact that the boat, bike and my teeth aren't in the shot (yes I know you want proof that I don't look like I have been chewing rocks) there will be a camwhore montage appearing on the front page as soon as I have worked out how to post multiple pictures. I only just managed to re-size this one. Count yourselves lucky you wont be scrolling for all eternity.
Before the hazing begins. I would just like Apollo and Shlongy to take note, I tried to keep silly angles to a minimum and look directly at the camera. One look at the grizzly picture and you will wish I had looked away. I am completely aware that I look like I crawled out from under a rock. My hair is dry and broken, my skin is still recovering from an ugly allergic reaction from a chemical cleaner I managed to get sloshed over my head (hence my forehead still falling off), my jaw is of epic proportions (thank you Oathmeal) and I have puncture marks on the end of my nose from where the cat bit me in the night. I have missed plenty, but I have every faith you will all point them out to me. Can't fault me for giving you an up-to-date picture though, as it was only taken yesterday.
I have no idea if I'm too late for the directory, I'm almost hopeful I've missed it.
User Reviews
Submitted by kristy (user info) at 2008-06-05 03:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-04 12:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
AMAZONA
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-03 05:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(I have re-sent, tell me if you get it)
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-03 04:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, what mail? Re-send it! Crazy busy here though. I have a paper work mountain to get through by the end of today.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-03 04:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am the height of nonsense...hehe
Did you get my mail Monster?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-03 04:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-02 11:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I expect that I think you're taller than you actually are.
You look about 5'8", so you're probably 4'11"
That's the way these things work.
_________
I'm 6ft. Exactly. I move around a lot and have to have a full check up every time I get a new doctor. The last five have all told me I'm 6ft. 4'11" would be awesome though.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-03 03:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
of course i'm going to make it, blt. i said i'd let it ride for a few weeks to let everyone get their shots in because there are always stragglers. like this post here.
you people have no faith in me.
fucking heathens.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-06-02 22:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fail on me, then.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-02 11:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I expect that I think you're taller than you actually are.
You look about 5'8", so you're probably 4'11"
That's the way these things work.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-06-02 10:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-06-01 23:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-30 18:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely Monder.
Wow a compliment from Stagger, I bet he gives himself those every day whilst looking in the Mirror
-----
I was joking about the worth of my compliments, you arse.
--
No way! Really? Who knew?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-02 08:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well that went right over my head. If it doesn't get made, I can't see anyone getting in a strop about it. If someone does get upset, they can make it.
I'm eatting noodles from a pan....things really aren't looking too good for me.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-06-02 08:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well with scourge running the thing you're probably never too late.
The joke is that it won't get made. That was the joke. If I have to point out the jokes to myself then it probably isn't looking too good for you.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-02 04:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-06-01 23:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-30 18:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely Monder.
Wow a compliment from Stagger, I bet he gives himself those every day whilst looking in the Mirror
-----
I was joking about the worth of my compliments, you arse.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-01 20:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice pic
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-01 14:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116507 There you go toe lady. All is in there. I have no idea if I was in time for it or not, we shall have to see. My tits are on the front of my chest.....they miss you.
They need you darling toe!
I shouldn't have finnished that third bottle.......
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-06-01 13:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is that directory thing still going? who's doing it? can you still do the picture send in thing without having it as a post on uber? where's your tits?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-01 11:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't you dare fakey!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-06-01 05:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"FG, come very shortly will be pirate pictures galore. I would however be very entertained for you to photoshop it. "
hehe
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-01 05:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mr men smile. I can live with that.
FG, come very shortly will be pirate pictures galore. I would however be very entertained for you to photoshop it.
Saccy, I was on my way to the pub to meet friends. As standard I kick about in the some of the dirtiest srubs you could ever find from working on the boat. If there isn't paint/varnish/syllicone/gel coat/oil/grease/paint all over my face and in my hair, I'm either on my way out to the pub or my mother has come for a supprise visit. I will never work in an office again. I don't really adjust to the enviroment very well.
Submitted by Jester_and_Traxx (user info) at 2008-05-31 16:44:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TRAXX: I'd hit it
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-31 15:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you have a cartoon smile.
like how they draw smiles in Mr Men books
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-31 15:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have an overwhelming desire to Photoshop you with an eye patch and head scarf in front of a Jolly Roger flag.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-31 12:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG A CAMWHORE LOOKING DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA.
So THAT's why they don't do it!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-31 08:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, woman. You lookin' fine. I expected a housedress and maybe, just maybe, an eyepatch. Instead, you look like you're about to leave for the office. That's a compliment, in that if I lived on a boat, you'd be lucky to get me out of a headscarf let alone anywhere near my makeup bag.
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2008-05-31 02:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I FIND IT ODD OUR SCREEN NAME WOULd be littke monster (miknd the caps lock, im also drunk) but the problem ios the pic does not make you look little. you don't look large either though. maye yer name should be average sized girk monster
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-05-31 01:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, you pretty, pretty Limey...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-05-31 00:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-05-30 21:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are very beautiful.
____________________________________
You are.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-05-31 00:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on! Fuck the naysayers.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-05-30 21:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are very beautiful.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-30 18:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 02:17:42 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but that's different and totally acceptable; when people claim to be Irish because of their great great grandmother or some shit, that's when it gets out of hand.
--------------
Ha ha ha. "My great-great-grandmother was Irish." Read, "I have a nigger in my woodpile."
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-05-30 16:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for nerve and having a nice smile
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never called you a cunt scourge!
---
I'm sure of it...
Or maybe it was some other blonde chick from england/ireland/scotland/wales.
Goddamn it.
YOU NEED TO ALL ESTABLISH A FIRM IDENTITY IN MY MIND OR ELSE I CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY MISGUIDED EMOTIONALLY DRIVEN RESPONSES.
I'm sorry I called you a mandible person.
You pretty much said we could though.
If it helps you can call me an obese republican coffe boy as that seems to be a fairly popular insult. Or you could call me a bearfucker.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was your age movies cost a dollar-fifty, we were big-boned instead of obese, we didn't have to wear helmets when we rode our bicycles, and Scourge was fun.
The world is going to hell.
.........
Nice picture.
Jack, check your mail.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never called you a cunt scourge!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i was never fun, jack, and you know it.
i said i liked your book, what more do you want from me?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was your age movies cost a dollar-fifty, we were big-boned instead of obese, we didn't have to wear helmets when we rode our bicycles, and Scourge was fun.
The world is going to hell.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-30 13:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh yeah...you're that broad who called me a cunt for no reason.
my feelings are easily wounded by unprovoked attacks from the mandible people. just ask jeannee, she's made me cry probably a dozen times now.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-30 13:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cute.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-05-30 12:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like you laugh easily. That's good.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
such a sweetie. <3
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
see, LM is the kind of pretty that you can count on to last. She probably wakes up looking this cute.. and that's awesome. That's the kind that you lock in your basement and never let go.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK....thanks....I guess. Stevie Nicks huh. fuck.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Aussie_em (user info) at 2008-05-30 16:07:57 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
kiera knightly with down syndrome...
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LOL. Come on LM, that is funny. She is way too thin anyway, and doesn't have your legendary breasticles.
It is something in your expression, I think, rather than features themselves, that make me agree with the Stevie Nicks thing.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Aussie_em (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kiera knightly with down syndrome...
________
damn.
Better go google the other lady.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:08:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Srevie Nicks = female singer from Fleetwood Mac = AWESOME
Submitted by Aussie_em (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kiera knightly with down syndrome...
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who is Stevie and who is Derval?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG, Sgt, I actually kinda see where you are coming from! I love Stevie.
(It is a lot better than JK, LittleM)
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have JUST realised that you look like the female version of Derval!
Seperated at birth!?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont know why, but you remind me of stevie knicks...
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it never ceases to amaze me how much heat a camwhore can get
___________________________
HaHa! Did you see her last one?
People are clearly clicking on this post expecting something else.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it never ceases to amaze me how much heat a camwhore can get
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank goodness I have other more memorable features then Ltap. No need to be sorry, you're only speaking your mind.
Told you it was my hair St.J
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
At least this one doesn't make your head look so pointy.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look nice, but sort of boring... You're not particularly beautiful but you have no glaring disfigurements, within 5 minutes I will have forgotten your face. Sorry.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear God, don't go near a tanning bed. Ever. I have seen the effects years later - leathery, saggy skin and sun spots. Blarf.
I bothered to use that Dove tanning moisturiser about a week ago, it is still showing, I am rather impressed. Takes the edge off my grey tired skin. I feel better about wearing shorts in it. Gives you a healthy glow. I wouldn't use it in the winter though, my sis in law looks silly with a bright orange tan in december. lol
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, the contractor got it for me.
There is no point me getting my nails done until the hard labour is over, nail polish would be off in seconds and if I have even 2mm of nail growth, they get caught and ripped on things. When all the heavy duty stuff is done, I will tidy them up. Until then, the shorter they are the easier they are to keep clean.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it was joey who said you have natural beauty and I agree.
Those women take care of themselves, yes, so do I. But they take it to an extreme, almost a caraciture of a 'woman'.
You should get your nails done though. I do. I don't have falsies, but a good manicure and paint job on shortish natural nails looks really tidy.
I love having a french polish on my toenails too.
She looks like a pornstar, though. Like that Roxy chick off eastenders, always scowling. Ugh.
(Your locket is pretty, by the way).
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hopefully with nothing blunt and heavy yozz.
Orphy. Those kinds of ladies truely frighten me. I get a lot of them around here and they all cluck at me and give me cards of their tanning salons and nail places. One woman told me that working for a living doesn't mean one has to give up on ones appearance all togther.
I struggle with high maintance ladies.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OR *has a genius idea* makes sure there is plenty of water left out
-------------------------------------
LOL :)
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The corners of your mouth kind of level out when you smile, giving the lower half of your face a sort of Noah's Ark look.
It's endearing and you are beautiful.
_______
Jimminy, that's a pretty sweet turn around since the last camwhore.
*scuffs ground awkwardly*
You just pipped Drake to nicest back hand compliment.
The jaw lives!
-----
I CAN TRY HARDER!!!!
GOD DAMMIT!
oathy, you're going down!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LittleM, my eldest is their eldests best mate. They are expected to attend.
Besides, dad wants to show them off (since he is best man, he don't have to worry about looking after his spawn).
I am thinking of maybe asking my new sister in law to babysit, but since she got together with my other halfs brother, we haven't got on. She is a bottle blonde, perma tan, fake nailed type. You know the ones I mean, you try to like them but they are so self absorbed it is a turn off, but you can't say you don't like them as they accuse you of being jealous (hahaha).
This is her mirror image
http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/09/30/versace1_gallery__470x333.jpg
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit it.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The corners of your mouth kind of level out when you smile, giving the lower half of your face a sort of Noah's Ark look.
It's endearing and you are beautiful.
_______
Jimminy, that's a pretty sweet turn around since the last camwhore.
*scuffs ground awkwardly*
You just pipped Drake to nicest back hand compliment.
The jaw lives!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 10:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, I am a snob. So?
They really wanted the ceremony in a field or something (they are hippies, as it is, the day is on summer solstice) but having three kids limits their budget. They are not religious, otherwise, I guess it would have been a church.
I am sure they are terribly excited but I won't get a hat for 10 minutes ceremony in an office. Sorry, but it is a terrible waste of money (hats = expense). If it were a wedding like my sisters, where we were in our finery for 5 hours before the night do, fine, but it is ten minutes in an office then striaght to the pub.
Anyway, I will leave the hats to the bride and grooms mothers.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry Drake. I'll mug you off if you earn it.
Orphy get a babysitter for the day/day and night/weekend. OR *has a genius idea* makes sure there is plenty of water left out (a couple of buckets should do) and a million sandwiches and put some kids channel on the TV and stay out all weekend. Fool proof.
Oh, but do remember to disconnect the phone so little buggers can't call the police by accident. Lock the doors as well, don't want them running amock down the street.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The corners of your mouth kind of level out when you smile, giving the lower half of your face a sort of Noah's Ark look.
It's endearing and you are beautiful.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's only a registery office job, I do like wearing hats to funerals though.
------------------
Have you said that to them?
You know... your friends/relatives that are SO looking forward to their BIG day in JUST A REGISTRY OFFICE!
OMG YOU ARE A SNOB.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's only a registery office job, I do like wearing hats to funerals though.
I am not really showing yet and the cut of the dress will hide bump.
Everyone will be looking at me - I'll be the sweaty, flustered, red faced crazy lady telling her kids to 'Shuuuuuush' and then in a loud whisper saying 'Orphy's kid, if you don't be quiet, don't think I won't take down your trousers and amack your bottom right here'
Lordy, kids spoil everything.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be in the directory...feel free to take a pot shot at me...I won't even get sensitive about it.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't you think a hat might be too much?
I was just thinking maybe some loose curls in my hair and maybe a thin gold headband, to match my gold sandals.
I hope i don't out shine the bride. ;)
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Orph, you're preggers. No-one will be looking at you anyway.
Well, they'll all have a little sideways look at your tits. Obviously.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You might not be the hottest girl around, but you're damn cool.
And that's okay by me.
______
That's okay by me too.
Nicest back handed compliment ever.
Orphy. Wedding = Hat. Looks like a nice outfit though.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't you think a hat might be too much?
I was just thinking maybe some loose curls in my hair and maybe a thin gold headband, to match my gold sandals.
I hope i don't out shine the bride. ;)
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You might not be the hottest girl around, but you're damn cool.
And that's okay by me.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crazy pirate lady who takes on swarms of drunken adolescent chavs armed only with ordinary household objects.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:07:57 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DON'T PISS ME OFF SUNNY JIM!
========
It's
"DINNAE PISH ME AFF SONNY JIM!"
Ye daft cunt.
-----
Thanks for the correction.
--
Yeah For proper Scottish pronunciation just imagine that you are drunk and slurr a lot. Failing that just spend your life perpetually pissed and you will be greeted like a native every time.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:07:57 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DON'T PISS ME OFF SUNNY JIM!
========
It's
"DINNAE PISH ME AFF SONNY JIM!"
Ye daft cunt.
-----
Thanks for the correction.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would have to refer that to a higher knowledge on the subject Drogo. Any ideas Hurty?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Slug em some rock salt for me! Not to mention Derkins, it wouldn't be right not to pass on her regards.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DON'T PISS ME OFF SUNNY JIM!
========
It's
"DINNAE PISH ME AFF SONNY JIM!"
Ye daft cunt.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a bit of Alien in me from when my Great Great Grandmother got 'Violated' by an Alien.
Then on my other side I have Scots, Guatemalen (sp), Brazillian, Thai, Indian, African and lots more. Great grand Paw was a mighty traveller. You still get to claim race even though he was only buggering boys right?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LM, no not recently. The bastards have been absent for almost two months. They'll start up again shortly though. It seems to go in cycles.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2008-05-30 06:25:19 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happily, my family has been Scottish for generations, though apparently some fucking Vikings raped a bunch of them back in the day. Dangerous combination that, Scottish and Viking.
---
Despite my surname being a Normanised Viking one, and the fact that it's been around for long enough to be pretty much redundant, and that I come from an impossibly long line of scousers who keep inbreeding with the Irish, the Viking bit is the one I stick with.
Irish? Well, they can drink and swear quite well but they are to blame for the fact that I combust in direct sunlight.
French? Well, less said about that the better.
Viking? PILLAGE! PILLAGE AWAY!!!!!
======
We Yanks are chastised here if we talk about our heritage. I guess it's ok for you to do it.
My family is English on my father's side with a wee bit of Apache indian tossed in, and Scottish on my mother's side.
My great aunt for all practical purposes looks like a full blood Apache indian. None of the rest of us got any benefits. I'm so fucking pale, I can't stay out in the sun for 15 minutes without SPF of 1 billion. It sucks.
Anyway, something about the Scottish and Apache indian combination brings about a fucked up collective unconscious. I have a horrid temper, I swear excessively, and I love cold-dish revenge.
DON'T PISS ME OFF SUNNY JIM!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry about it Orphy. I like your dress very much, make sure you get a good hat to go with it!
Afternoon FG. Been picking off any graveyard stompers recently?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Shellsuits' not tracksuits. lol.
I am quite the snappy dresser. I don't own any leggings, sports suits (though I do have a cute pleated tennis skirt and top for when I used to do gym)or cargo pants.
I'd love to be a Burberry wearing chav and dress in 'Von Bitch' (oh that is 'so' clever) t shirts, but sadly, my upbrnging was far too middle class.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
feely, thats not a track suit.
isn't somewhere in your codebook that you types can only wear tracksuits?
joke!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just logged on and noticed on my homepage I +1ed this. It was meant to be +2. Bart, I formally request the rating system be made easier and more blonde friendly.
I just ordered this dress for a wedding. Isn't it soooo girly?
http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10001_10001_18658_622333_-1
(I still think you look like a cat, but in a nice way).
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crazy pirate lady who takes on swarms of drunken adolescent chavs armed only with ordinary household objects.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bah, you have pathetic battle wounds! Where are your nasty facial scars? How will you ever get into Valhalla to become a Valkyrie?
And then how will you ever get to sing in a really high pitched voice with a horned helmet?
AND WHO DOESN'T WANT THAT???!?!?
_______
I WANT THAT! I have good scars else where, mainly through stupidity rather than battle though. No one will fight me any more because I keep crying out "PLEASE not the face, not the face, I SAID NOT THE FACE!".
Sgt - not this time. sorry.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
guess why most of us clicked here.
still, you have a nice smile. that's important too
i guess....
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dammit no bewbs? hehe
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-30 08:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bah, you have pathetic battle wounds! Where are your nasty facial scars? How will you ever get into Valhalla to become a Valkyrie?
And then how will you ever get to sing in a really high pitched voice with a horned helmet?
AND WHO DOESN'T WANT THAT???!?!?
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2008-05-30 07:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happily, my family has been Scottish for generations, though apparently some fucking Vikings raped a bunch of them back in the day. Dangerous combination that, Scottish and Viking.
---
Despite my surname being a Normanised Viking one, and the fact that it's been around for long enough to be pretty much redundant, and that I come from an impossibly long line of scousers who keep inbreeding with the Irish, the Viking bit is the one I stick with.
Irish? Well, they can drink and swear quite well but they are to blame for the fact that I combust in direct sunlight.
French? Well, less said about that the better.
Viking? PILLAGE! PILLAGE AWAY!!!!!
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-05-30 07:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Show us your implants!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-05-30 06:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-05-30 06:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I said I would post again, and I will. Almost done.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-05-30 06:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I said I would post again, and I will. Almost done.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 06:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
awwww joey! I'm all darn blushin over here.
Hope life is being good to you. I heard a rumour that you were going to come back and post again....I have been waiting and days have gone by, but no post has come forth. I've run out of lucazade bottles to pee in and the contrator is threatening to hose me down if I don't go for a shower soon.
Please end this.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a natural beauty, which puts you in a higher class than the lady across the street who keeps wearing short dresses over her perma-tanned orange legs.
I know that doesn't sound like much, but trust me, it's good.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Huzzah! A lady with her priorities right.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orpheilia - What hurty said in responce.
DJ - He had just said something very rude to me. That's why I look a little bit supprised. The picture taken straight after this one is of me laughing my arse off, it just came out looking like I was being molested and enjoying it. There will be smiley happy pictures to come. I wasn't prepared to waste drinking time outside the bar having my picture taken is all.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm not a traitor! I'm as English as Queen Victoria!"
"So your father's a German, you're half-German, and you married a German?!"
Quotes from Black Adder are always appropriate.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That Huty, explains everything.
There is a huge scroll (held by god knows who now my grandma died) which has the family tree from my father side on it. It goes back an awfully long way and every single bugger on it is English. My grandma on my mothers side would proberbly knife you if you even dared to ask if there was any one who wasn't English on that side of the family.
We're like the royal family, without the Germans and incest.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look wonderful, deary, but I have a suggestion.
A real smile uses muscles around the eyes as well, so try and get the person taking the photo to tell you a joke, make s stupid noise, anything to make you smile. The g/f like photos I take of her, as she's genuinely smiling in every one.
Still, there's only so many times showing her my flacid pecker will work.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, but that's different and totally acceptable; when people claim to be Irish because of their great great grandmother or some shit, that's when it gets out of hand.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My dad is Polish, I have dual nationality. Not nonsense, I am proud. My mum is from Doncaster.
you look pretty, a little cat like.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah I fucking hate that "Well, I'm a quarter Irish, half English, a fifth Welsh..." It's fucking bullshit, the number of times I encountered that nonsense in America had be boiling with rage pretty much constantly.
Happily, my family has been Scottish for generations, though apparently some fucking Vikings raped a bunch of them back in the day. Dangerous combination that, Scottish and Viking.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm about as English as you can get. None of this "mymotherisIrishandmyfatherishalfRussianandhalfFrench" nonsense.
I would like to say I'm proud. I'm not though, unless I'm drunk. Then I'm the most patriotic motherfucker you ever came across.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-30 05:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look very English. Make of that what you will.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-05-30 04:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lm=auto+2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 04:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Count me in. Will be down there in a couple of months I think. Tell your bosses to bugger off and leave you alone to post on uber, it's been rather quiet here of late. Not that I can talk, I hardly ever post.
Yes. Pub. Sounds good.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-30 04:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay. How about buying This beautiful morning?
I have been busy at work, the buggers actually want me to Work damn it!
Hope you're well, must catch up with a few brews next time you are down this way.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 04:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ta Drogo. Where have you been hiding? Don't tell me you've been busy with work, because I wont buy it.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-30 04:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely Monder.
Wow a compliment from Stagger, I bet he gives himself those every day whilst looking in the Mirror
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-05-30 04:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beautiful shot LM.
Nowt wrong with you.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well ta Stagger. I shall hold it dear to my heart!
Orph - I had to do unmentionable things last night. I think we can leave it at that.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woo - hoo - woo - ooo - ti - de
Woo - hoo - ooo - oop - i - de - de
Woo - hoo - woo - ooo - ti - de
Yod-el - od-el- lo - ti - [D] de.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's easy. EASY AS HELL.
You're fairly easy on the eyes (see that, that's a SEGUE) and you look easy to get along with.
Seeing as I am a handsome, debonair man with tons of friends and millions of job prospects, this is a COMPLIMENT worth your HAVING.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice pic LM.
How did you convince the contractor to take the shot for uber?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's what I meant Stagger. I'm just not very good at that sort of thing.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't post "multiple" files, you have to use photoshop or whatever and save your photo montage as one image.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Moo indeed sir. Moo indeed.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not so terrible... and you write in full sentences broken up by paragraphs which is always a good thing.
Further, you're at a yacht club which makes me think you're a pirate, and that makes me happy, because pirates are fun!
Arrr!!!
Hahahaha... those silly pirates and their buried treasure....
Arrrrrrrr!!!!
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-05-30 03:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
moo?