There are times when I wish I could believe (1555 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.78 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by loki (View user info) at 2008-06-14 19:09:33 EDT
We had our piano recital on Sunday the 8th. I played As Time Goes By from Casablanca and a couple of Bach pieces. One of them was a duet with another one of the adult students. I don't really care for the duet thing, hey if I "played well with others" I'd have stuck with the violin instead of making the switch to piano so many years ago. I did it though because it made Margaret happy.
Actually the only reason I did the recitals at all was because it made Margaret happy. Truth be told I'm years beyond my natural piano talent and ability but she was like a little extra grandmother so I never quit taking lessons. I would have missed seeing her every day. Sometimes work issues would come up and I'd have to cancel, she always sounded so crestfallen on the phone when I bailed out that I've always known that I've never be able to quit.
So every Thursday at 6:00 I gathered up my piano pieces and headed over to the basement of Margaret's house for my weekly lesson. I was usually there for a couple of hours. An hour of it was actual piano time but the other hour was her asking me about things going on in my life, telling me about her grandkids, and showing me what she had been up to in the garden.
She's been there through everything from grad school to my ill fated career in Big 4 Accounting to my tenure as a professor to my finally finding my place at my current job. I've been there for her through quite a bit, the loss of her son and husband were the biggest ones. Every week when I would leave I would tell her to call me if she needed anything, but she was a very independent lady and never did. I knew that so I would sometimes pop over at times like when there was an ice storm just to make sure that she was all right.
One of her grandsons just graduated from Georgia Southern. His older sister got married a few weeks ago. Margaret planned everything because the wedding was to be here in town even though the bride and the bride's mother both live in Georgia now. I think she was hanging in there for those two big events. Maybe even the recital as well because she always loved dragging us all out on stage and forcing us to play for our friends and families.
So we had our recital on Sunday. One of the boys couldn't be there because he was at Wake Forest interviewing for a football scholarship. I know she wished he could have been there but she was quite pleased when she announced where he was and why he wasn't there.
Her daughter had come up from Georgia for the recital. Monday she and two of Margaret's grandkids spend the day with her. They went out to breakfast, shopping, and then after lunch at her favorite restaurant where she insisted on ordering a chocolate soda specifically made by one of her grandsons who works there they went home. She had gone upstairs to her bedroom to take a nap when her daughter heard her fall. She collapsed and never recovered.
Sam and I were up at the mess of mud and gravel that will someday be our cabin for a working vacation. Every day we went to the local convenience store to pick up a paper to read over coffee. Sam saw the obit on Thursday and broke the news to me. The funeral was today. It was a beautiful ceremony presided over by her minister who was oddly enough also one of her piano students. I feel lost. I've lost my extra grandmother and sitting there in the service today hearing all the words of comfort about her being with her husband Dwight and looking down on all of us I just really wish I could believe. It would be easier that way.
User Reviews
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-06-17 22:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It is empty hope and basically taking the blue pill but this happened a week after I had to put one of my dogs down. I'm oscillating between being numb and just hiding under my bed for a few days.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-17 21:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-06-17 17:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-15 15:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
chin up
religion is still empty hope.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-17 10:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i understand the sentiment, the desire expressed here, but knuckling in to this sort of belief system to assuage wounds is self indulgence and greed. it sullies the memories of this fine woman by saying what you had to begin with wasn't good enough.
buck up.
plant a nice tree or flowerbed at you cabin in her memory, since that's where you herad the news. better drag a piano up there as well.
i'm going to quit typing now. i'm all antsy.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-17 09:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry for your loss.
It always sounds so weak when someone says that, but it's the best I've got.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-06-16 14:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry for your loss Loki.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-06-16 01:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-06-15 15:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is it crass to post an obit? This is off the newspaper website so it isn't like I've exactly revealed anything confidential with this.
===
cuz uber and real life don't mix too well
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I dunno about that. Kaelic made big money ripping Uberites off with that scam and Jeaneeee succsesfully caught gay AIDS off of Oathmeal.
I'd say those were two people who'd say "Uber mixed with real life = mission accomplished!"
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-06-16 01:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-06-16 01:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-06-15 15:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is it crass to post an obit? This is off the newspaper website so it isn't like I've exactly revealed anything confidential with this.
===
cuz uber and real life don't mix too well
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-06-15 17:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was a rather peaceful way to go. I hope that I'll be able to live on my own up until the very end like she did.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-06-15 15:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was very sweet. At least she had a long and happy life, partly thanks to you. I've known so many people who've died young that, when I hear about a very old person dying, I almost feel relieved and happy for them.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-15 15:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
chin up
religion is still empty hope.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-06-15 15:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is it crass to post an obit? This is off the newspaper website so it isn't like I've exactly revealed anything confidential with this.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-06-15 14:16:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Write what you like Loki.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-15 10:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot that Uber doesn't care, no matter how sad it is.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-15 08:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
MySpace.com
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-15 04:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Phalic has sand in his vag this morning.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-15 00:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope they like the goatse flower arrangement I'm sending.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-14 23:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Also even if this is real, it is very much like a jpeg cry for attention.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-14 23:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-14 21:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Posting an obituary seems to me incredibly crass.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-06-14 23:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-06-14 22:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was really wanting to give you a negative rating because you are so well loved here... but that kind of loss truly sucks.
Just remember all the awesome times you had with her, and how much love she showed you over the years. I'm sure she'll check in on you, just like you checked in on her. Play the music for her, I'm sure she'll enjoy it.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-14 21:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Posting an obituary seems to me incredibly crass.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2008-06-14 20:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am so sorry to hear this. I dread the day that I have to leave my current clarinet teacher for another, nevermind experiencing the type of pain you must be feeling right now.
Keep on playing and keep that love alive.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-14 20:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-06-14 19:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really sorry. I miss my grandmas too.