crazy strikes again (1631 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.89 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by loki (View user info) at 2008-06-17 22:12:11 EDT
The cabin is finished and ready for an ubercon (see below). That would be the cabin, atrium, and garage.
Ok ok but at least we have a road now. That's something isn't it?
We've had more issues with the crazy neighbors. Someone, we know not who of course but someone made an anonymous phone call to the county claiming that we were putting in a development on my land. This would be verboden because the right of way for the road is only 30 feet wide and not the 45 feet that would be necessary for an actual development. It should be noted that this anonymous little rat knew good and goddamn well that we were not putting in any fucking development but this little rat also apparently talked to its little rat lawyer who informed her that there wasn't jack shit she could do about our building a road so she's trying all this crap in order to make it as much of a pain in the ass as possible.
As a side note it is possible that someone called the health department to let them know that someone saw a big ugly rat in the kitchen of a certain bed & breakfast. It is also possible but not confirmed that someone used the IRS tip line to report their suspicions that not all of the income from said B&B was being properly reported. Hey they appear to need a hobby.
So anyway the dad figure talked to the inspector about what we were actually doing and got rid of him. Then as if on cue another inspector showed up because there was some sort of complaint that we were building a road that was going to wash out their driveway. That guy wasn't as easy to get rid of. I don't know what the full story there is except that there was some sort of rule about only having a certain amount of acreage cleared at any one time and after a lot of blah blah blah the dozer work ended up costing a shit load more than it was supposed to because they had to cut part of the road and immediately go back and plant grass on the banks so it wouldn't count as cleared.
As of now the road is finished but I have personally seen this inspector up there three times. Basically every time it rains they call the inspector and tell him that our road is washing out their driveway. The latest trip out by the inspector back fired on them a tad bit. It rained so they called to complain about our road. Unfortunately for them the inspector showed up after the gravel was nicely smoothed out and not only was our road not washing out their driveway but their driveway was in fact in danger of washing out our road. They asked the dozer guy if he could fix their driveway but at this point he's sick of their shit and told them that he's booked solid for the rest of the summer. I'm positive that they were trying to trick him into doing that work on their driveway and billing us for it. Maybe I should mention that I went to middle school with the dozer guy. We had a nice little reunion when he called me a princess and I tried to hit him with a dirt clod - you know for old times sake. Sam was confused and impressed, but the point is that the dozer guy is on my side. He also made fun of me for spraying the poison ivy with round up. Yes I do intend to rid the entire mountain of poison ivy thank you very much.
The annoying part about it is that every time something happens my dad goes over there to talk to them. To his face they always act like everything is just a big misunderstanding and thank you so much for keeping us informed, then before he gets back to the house the inspector shows up again.
Then of course they had the land surveyed. They were convinced that MY pond was on their land. It isn't even close. This enormous body of water that got them so worked up they hired a surveyor is actually a spring that feeds a pond about the size of the area on my living room floor between the coffee table and television. You know that spot on the floor that is right now filled with a large spoiled Siberian Husky. The water then goes underground to reappear further down the mountain to feed into a creek that is also not on their land. According to area lore it was once used to make moonshine because with the water going underground it was impossible for the evil black hatted revenue agents to follow the mash upstream to find the still. I have no idea if that is true but the pond thing is kind of cool.
So in retaliation for all these inspections I have installed a large redneck chain with a big hideous lock on it across the road right at the property line. My official claim is that I don't want anyone getting hurt up there and suing me. I'm really doing it so they can't go snooping around up there looking for some reason to call the inspector and more importantly just to be a bitch because they can see the chain from their house but I can't see it from the cabin. Oh sure they could still walk up there but I really doubt they'll go through the effort. I've been kicking around the idea of putting up one of those friendly pineapple flags with a "welcome" banner right over the "private drive no trespassing" signs. Maybe they'll decide that I'm a dangerous schizophrenic and fuck off.
This would actually be kind of amusing except that it is slowing things down, costing me money, and the whole point of a little place in the mountains is to get away from it all. It isn't exactly getting away from it all to have this stupid feud going on. I'm not entirely sure what to do to end this petty crap. I'm convinced that every time we go up there they are going to call the inspector. Sam's theory is that we should talk to him about what is going on to see if he has any suggestions. I have a feeling that he's obligated to follow up on every little call but there has to be a way to have them declared a nuisance or something to keep him from having to take them seriously. I'm sure at some point this becomes harassment or something, kind of like how a cop can't just post up at the end of your driveway and stop you every time you leave your house.
assholes
If nothing else maybe I should find out what the guy likes to drink so I can be a proper hostess all nice and friendly like whenever he shows up.
In other news and this is totally off the subject, I'm determined to find a way to make a UFO. I'm trying to figure out how to modify a radio controlled helicopter like this one: http://www.hobby-lobby.com/cocolama.htm
No reason really. Sam put me through one of those pseudo science shows about UFO sightings and I desperately need to create one and maybe buzz the next NASCAR street festival with it. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm thinking flashing LED lights but I have to be able to get it airborne while disguising the fact that it's just a toy.
User Reviews
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-01-06 01:39:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There is NOTHING worse than having this kind of people living near your place.
Maybe if everyone who reads your post would focus their searing energy on the neighbors from hell, they will move.
I believe in the power of collective thought...
Good luck, try not to let the turkeys get you down.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-06-18 19:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FWFIV, my parents live out there just down the road kind of over the ridge. That is both good and bad, ya know. On one hand they can keep an eye on things but on the other hand they can keep an eye on things.
what?
I am so going to make sure that everything I do up there is all within permit and zoning guidelines. I have a very clear memory of a house that we went to see when we were buying our fancy city dwelling, you know the one with the indoor plumbing and electricity. We were buying our first home so we had a buyers agent to hold our little hands. She got into an argument with someone over a finished attic they were trying to count as that all important "heated living space". The stairway was too narrow so even though the attic was completely finished and to the untrained eye looked like living space, it couldn't be added into the square footage of the house which rather dramatically cut into the asking price. I don't know what it would have taken when they were doing all that work to have expanded the stairway but probably not as much as they lost on the asking price of the house.
I've also heard of horror stories about people having to rip out walls because they didn't get electrical work inspected.
I'm not normally all law and order or anything but the real estate gods are not to be tangled with.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-06-18 17:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Skrap: Dry-Cleaner bags are great for this... extremely thin, but usually fairly durable for it's thickness.
another cheap way to do this is several clear latex helium balloons and glow-sticks. less chance of fire.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-18 16:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How to make a night-time UFO:
You'll need balsa wood kite sticks, masking tape, a short candle or two, a cheap thin garbage bag, and a still evening.
Make a cross of the sticks and tape them together. Open the garbage bag and tape the sticks to the edge such that the bag forms a cover. Tape the candles to the sticks near the point where they contact. With the garbage bag held open above the sticks, light the candles. In short order the bag will fill with warm air and become bouyant. It will float off into the night, a softly glowing UFO.
Disclaimer: may set your local forest on fire if it crashes.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-06-18 15:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I know you live in NC...just the more hippified part West of Raliegh-Durham.
So when is the supposed outdoor adventure?
and should I feel snubbed if I haven't already gotten an invite?
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-06-18 13:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2008-06-17 22:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love loki stories, for no reason.
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Good stuff: home sweet home, retaliation, UFOs...
Submitted by FWFIV (user info) at 2008-06-18 13:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry to say, but this kind of harassment can go on throughout the construction process. The good news is that once your cabin is built and a certificate of occupancy issued there isn't much else the crazy people can do. One word of warning, make sure all of your actions follow local building codes and land use rules. I am in the land surveying/civil engineering field and can say from experience that small mistakes quickly grow out of control if they are not caught in time. Even though it will cost more, have a licensed land surveyor stake out the building corners before starting construction. This will give you some protection from a costly lawsuit in case the neighbors try some tricky stuff after you start building.
Not to scare you, but property that is not owner occupied, in remote areas can be in danger of vandalism, arson etc. if some of the locals are really ticked off. Find a local handyman type person, establish a relationship, use them for small jobs every once and a while and ask them to keep an eye on the place for you. It is a plus to have someone nearby to check after storms if you aren't close by. This shouldn't cost very much and will give you peace of mind. Down here on the coast most owners of large vacation homes in private communities have arrangements like this and whether or not you fit the description most residents will view you as "rich city people".
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-18 12:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kick em in the junk/box.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-18 11:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's only one way to deal with crazy...
you know the one I mean.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-18 10:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-18 10:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chains don't work, pedestrians can go under and motorcycles can go over.
My advice: find out who it is and kick their ass. Then sue them for hurting your foot.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-18 09:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It sucks that they're giving you a hard time, but it's awesome that you have mountain property, and despite the pictures, apparently a cabin and atrium, and all that good stuff.
As for your neighbors, people dissappear in Appalachia all the time. Just tell the police they were old and had dementia, citing the frequent calls as a sign of senility, and suggest that they wandered off and died the death of an alzheimer's victim. Truly happens every single day. I once spent 3 hours with my father looking for an elderly neighbor only to find him halfway in the ground after falling into a sinkhole.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-06-18 09:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-06-18 08:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not all that concerned about fauna. I know there are deer up there and a few small woodland critters but nothing all that dangerous. Once upon a time there were bears up there but the bears in that area are the small skittish black variety. We always have our K9 mobile defense perimeter warning system with the specially designed high pitched alarm guaranteed to give a bear a headache.
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-18 06:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The cabin is finished and ready for an ubercon (see below). That would be the cabin, atrium, and garage.
Ok ok but at least we have a road now. That's something isn't it?
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You write as if everyone knows what the fuck you are talking about?!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-18 05:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess they're all just worried about the 'unspoilt wilderness' getting spoiled. I guess that is a danger when hippies become yuppies.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-06-18 03:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you're finished can you come and build me a road? I want my own road. One that goes all the way into town and back that only I'm allowed to use.
Traffic congestion sucks.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2008-06-18 02:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enjoyed this.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2008-06-18 02:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
crazy liberal
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-18 00:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very amusing, and par for the course in most rural areas. I suspect you'll have a whole volume of these posts by the time you finally get your place built. (Not so good for you, but great for us!) It'll still be worth it, though. I think your best bet is to plant marijuana on your crazy neighbor's property and then call the cops on him. Take the offensive.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116586
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-17 23:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so, when am i invited out for the big cabin party?
i'll willingly harass the neighbors.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2008-06-17 22:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love loki stories, for no reason.
Maybe you can file a restraining order of some kind?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-17 22:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aren't you scared of the creatures?
(fauna not neighbours)