the world is full of ambiguities and uncertainties, but one thng is for sure: you should stick that oversized pepper shaker up your arse (934 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.66 on 60 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shandythetopdog (View user info) at 2008-08-27 10:25:23 EDT
don't you think?
you order a meal, the meal arrives, and before you can taste it there is some cunt with a giant pepper grinder asking if you want pepper
HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW IF I WANT PEPPER????
I HAVEN'T TASTED IT YET YOU STUPID CUNT
international readers, forgive me if this is something that only happens int he barbaric wastelands of australia
ps: my mummy is dead and gone. i composed the world's most beautiful piece of writing in my mind, but it is gone
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-28 21:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-28 02:26:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You may be a big girl, but there aren't enough pepper grinders in a restaurant to give everybody one. Generally there are only two or three.
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Silly Beel..I know there are only a few BIG ones, but hell, I buy disposable McCormick salt/pepper grinders at Acme. That's all I'm asking for.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-08-28 14:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Cause my boss just walked in and gave me a promotion even though I spend most my day dicking off on Ubersite. He said I am management material...
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-28 10:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-27 23:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Being a waiter is basically sucking dick for a living.
I hated it.
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I like it. A lot actually. You have to be pretty bad at it to dislike it.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-08-28 10:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not to mention the cheese grater.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-28 10:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto top dog plus2
Hope you're ok mate.
-P
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-28 08:05:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I go to restaurants for good food and a good time.
Not to fucking get all stressed about pepper grinders.
Chill the fuck out.
ps. sorry about your Mum.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-08-28 03:38:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that question always make me wonder if the cook or the supplier fucked up
it's the same when i order an expensive steak and some asshole asks me if i want steak sauce, which unfortunately forces me to ask: "does my piece of meat require it to become eatable?"
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2008-08-28 03:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-28 02:26:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-27 22:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I always want pepper. But I don't see why I must be forced to choose between someone else grinding it for me, or using dried up flakes from a crusty shaker that everyone knows is from 1974. PUT A GRINDER ON THE TABLE, I'M A BIG GIRL.
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You may be a big girl, but there aren't enough pepper grinders in a restaurant to give everybody one. Generally there are only two or three. That crusty shaker you mention is supposed to be cleaned and refilled after every shift; by somebody like ebola may, who was probably slacking off.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-27 23:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a close relative that is a Proprietor at "a well known Australian-themed steakhouse here in America". Between that fact and my Herb Garden, I grill/smoke an awesomely-supplemented Ribeye Steak, Chicken Breast, Baby Back Ribs, Pork Loin, Russet Potato and Corn-on-the-Cob. INSAIJS.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-27 23:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or you could just give in and kill yourself, below.
It is obvious that uber is the best thing going for you, and honestly, we don't really want you.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-27 23:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
When I was waiting tables a while back I got into trouble if I *didn't* come up and ask if you wanted pepper on that.
"Pepper on your salad, Mrs?"
"Would you care for fresh ground pepper on your whitefish sir?"
Being a waiter is basically sucking dick for a living.
I hated it.
And the human race.
I want you all dead.
All of you.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-27 22:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I always want pepper. But I don't see why I must be forced to choose between someone else grinding it for me, or using dried up flakes from a crusty shaker that everyone knows is from 1974. PUT A GRINDER ON THE TABLE, I'M A BIG GIRL.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-27 22:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just coming back in to drop a +2 because the title is brilliant.
Going up into to 90s tomorrow. Have to drop an extra $20 for the Ice Water Special.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-27 21:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're no more in charge of ubersite than you're precious queen is in charge of the uk... or canada.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-27 20:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pah!
i am barely here but a few days of solid ubering and manufactured controversy will soon see me back as top dog
i quite like the whole big pepper thing, cos i always want pepper.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-27 20:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-26 22:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo is hardly anybody any more.
Just second top dog.
A mere figurehead.
A GIANT figurehead actually.
And what with the actual top dog being impotent
All the power of the ubersite has been vested to me.
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It's true shandy, I AM the man behind the curtain, you're just my puppet-king to sway the masses.
You know it too, deep down in your soul of souls.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-27 20:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do the dingos ask for pepper before they eat your babies?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry to hear of your loss, shandy xxx
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-27 13:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they have Outbacks in Australia, you know.
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really? I did not know that. I thought they kept their chain red white and blue.
I used to work at Lone Star, and guess what. There is not a single one in Texas.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus fucking christ jack. TMI TMI TMI
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops, I meant that Method guy isn't me.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That Quint guy isn't me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck off Method.
It's commerce in action. It's what made America great.
v
v
v
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-27 14:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The guy below has to pay for sex. Even from Method's Mom.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-27 14:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
McDonald's is listed under 'restaurants' in a lot of yellow pages publications.
That is how far we have fallen as a civilized society.
AND YET the chick who gives me a nice sloppy blowjob for a reasonable price at only a few moments notice (24/7!!!!!!) is considered a criminal and not a therapist. Do the powers that be have ANY idea how many shooting sprees she has averted with her (in my experience) singular ability to soldier on until her nose is buried in my pubic hair? She is a life-saving gutter goddess.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-27 13:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they have Outbacks in Australia, you know.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-27 13:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol at "well-known australian themed restaurant here in america"
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-27 13:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:04:46 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
And so what if the waiter does it for you. Do you object if he pours your wine?
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Yes! I really fucking hate that.
=========================
Any good place serving wine will un-cork the bottle for you and leave it at your table, how can they begin to presume how much you would like in your glass. At the end of the meal you tell them how many glasses you have poured and you pay for those, and the trick I have found is that if you don't ever empty the glass completely then it doesn't count as a new glass when you refill.
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Understandable. I am a waiter at a well known Australian-themed steakhouse here in America, and the other day I had a bunch of young guys come in. They ordered a bottle of our house merlot, which is shit at its best (like all merlot) and I had to go through the whole sequence of uncorking the bottle and pouring a sample into the buyer's glass, and et cetera. The dude looked at me like I was retarded when I asked him if it was a good bottle, and he says, "it's house merlot, man. You get what you pay for."
HOWEVER. If you buy the bottle you drink the bottle. You dont get points for leaving a sip in there. I'm charging you for the whole thing. If you want two glasses, then buy two glasses. Don't waste your money or my time.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-08-27 12:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops, I missed the last line of the post. My harsh disagreement now seems a little inappropriate - sorry...
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 12:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just say no thank you. Try not to be rude to a person standing over you with a large, blunt wooden object, as the temptation for revenge may prove too great.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom.
====================================
Also, don't forget they are handleing your food.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just say no thank you. Try not to be rude to a person standing over you with a large, blunt wooden object, as the temptation for revenge may prove too great.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sadness with a bit of guilty relief for the old mum?
what's going to happen to sis?
hope you are okay mate.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:38:23 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um, I would expect any 'good place' to sell their wine by the bottle. I've never heard of this honesty box approach.
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There are a few little Italian mom and pop places here around Dallas that serve traditional Italian and do the honor code with the bottle.
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Fair play. Be honest with your wine consumption / don't rat on your friends. Same principle.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um, I would expect any 'good place' to sell their wine by the bottle. I've never heard of this honesty box approach.
=================================
There are a few little Italian mom and pop places here around Dallas that serve traditional Italian and do the honor code with the bottle.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:29:19 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:04:46 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
And so what if the waiter does it for you. Do you object if he pours your wine?
-----------
Yes! I really fucking hate that.
=========================
Any good place serving wine will un-cork the bottle for you and leave it at your table, how can they begin to presume how much you would like in your glass. At the end of the meal you tell them how many glasses you have poured and you pay for those, and the trick I have found is that if you don't ever empty the glass completely then it doesn't count as a new glass when you refill.
--------
Um, I would expect any 'good place' to sell their wine by the bottle. I've never heard of this honesty box approach.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:04:46 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
And so what if the waiter does it for you. Do you object if he pours your wine?
-----------
Yes! I really fucking hate that.
=========================
Any good place serving wine will un-cork the bottle for you and leave it at your table, how can they begin to presume how much you would like in your glass. At the end of the meal you tell them how many glasses you have poured and you pay for those, and the trick I have found is that if you don't ever empty the glass completely then it doesn't count as a new glass when you refill.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:04:46 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
And so what if the waiter does it for you. Do you object if he pours your wine?
-----------
Yes! I really fucking hate that.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw her there from afar
Her hair grey charcoal
Takes a drag from her tar
I kissed her a smile
But her blood red shot eye
Said the son never shines on closed doors
It's been eight long years since I saw
The woman who's labored
Since the day I was born
These wrinkles now face
To that cold dark damp place
Where the son never shines on closed doors
She said the son never shines on closed doors
I open to find only hurricanes blow
Take me away back to the green fields of May
Because the son never shines on closed doors
Death comes like a theif in the night
To steal while you sleep
The soul's flickering licght
Well maybe it's then
She said, I'll see you again
Because the son never shines on closed doors
She said the son never shines on closed doors
I open to find only hurricanes blow
Take me away back to the green fields of May
Because the son never shines on closed doors
And we all go the same way home
Yeah we all go the same way home
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sorry about your mom.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-08-27 11:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
So you think you're a bit clever and that you're a bit of a playa in the kitchen? You may be, but you've got this wrong. The salt content of food does need to be carefully balanced to get it right, but this doesn't really apply to pepper, even though they both come under the term "seasoning". You can pretty much have as much or as little pepper as you like, particularly when it is used as a garnish, as it is when the waiter applies it in this way. Personally I love having some ground black pepper on top of pizza and pasta dishes, and you probably do too, so shut the fuck up.
I bet you would never have thought of this if it wasn't for cookery programmes telling you that you have to "adjust" the seasoning. Think for yourself, you sheep.
And so what if the waiter does it for you. Do you object if he pours your wine?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My mummy's dead
I can't get it through my head
Though it's been so many years
My mummy's dead
I can't explain
So much pain
I could never show it
My mummy's dead
My favorite 40 second song.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're being an extremist now....seriously
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i mean, why not have some cunt turn up with a giant tube of tomato sauce, or a huge pot of mustard?
"Can i smear mustard all over your meal sir? You never know, it might taste nice"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I wish you were more coherent. And interesting.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and no, it's not just wop restaurants
in australia, it happens in basically any cafe or restaruant that imagines they are serving higher class food
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks, actually in some ways she was gone long ago already due to dementia
but now she is among the GIANT ARMY OF THE DEAD
at the crematorium, they told me they have 300,000 dead people's ashes there
think how many dead cunts there are in the whole world! accumalated thorughout time and histsory!
we the living are a tiny, miniscule minority compared to the ARMY OF THE DEAD
if necessary, i will summon the army of the dead to wage war on the pepper grinder cunts
seriously, i've had enough
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
P.S. Sorry about your mom. At least she wasn't Method's mom.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i must admit, i have endured the pepper bullshit in silence
but I VOW ON MY MOTHER'S CREMATED ASHES that from now on whenever some cunt prematurely offers me pepper i will ask him to either:
a) return once i have tasted my food thoroughly
or
b) leave the giant pepper grinder on my table
in facxt, fuck option a). option a) is bullshit. what if i decide i want pepper or more pepper at some point midway through my meal??? must i fuck around summmoning some cunt to grind it over my food. must i wait??? why can't i just have pepper on the fucking table??? i feel no sense of hardship grinding pepper myself over my own food. in fact, it would be a pleasure.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is predominantly in Italian restaurants, no? Don't they normally have salt and ground pepper on the table, but then they'll come round with black pepper in aforementioned phallic grinder? I rather like the pomp of the whole thing.
I'll always accept a little black pepper and parmesan, if its offered.
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My less than tactful ex-mother-in-law asked the boy where the batteries go in when he presented the phallic grinder.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
perhaps if you for once stood up, took the pepper mill and beat the fucking piss out of the yielder, rather and cramming your resentment into your mind and further decaying it, they wouldn't approach you with such haste.
really man, do something about it or stfu
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you are generalizing.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know what to tell you. Most of the time they have pepper on the table, but a waiter will ask if you want freshly ground pepper. Tell him to wait until you take a bite, perhaps?
ps: thegoat has apparently never eaten at a restaurant nicer than Applebees. Ridicule him.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is predominantly in Italian restaurants, no? Don't they normally have salt and ground pepper on the table, but then they'll come round with black pepper in aforementioned phallic grinder? I rather like the pomp of the whole thing.
I'll always accept a little black pepper and parmesan, if its offered.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
some people know they want pepper before they taste it
chill out
SOME PEOPLE
SOME PEOPLE
WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US WHO ACTULALY HAVE SOME INTEREST IN THE TASTE OF OUR FOOD
(don't get me wrong, i love pepper)
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I always want pepper on my food but those guys are wankers.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as i said, some things in life are unclear, but surely to god this is a stupidity that everyone can see must be stamped out
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
apparetly, in the wasteland of down under, it is considered sophisticated for the waiter to loom up with the giant pepper grinder
apparently placing salt and pepper on the table, to be added according to the customer's taste, is unfashionable
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My pepper shaker is usually on the table when i arrive so no problems there..
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-08-27 10:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
some people know they want pepper before they taste it
chill out