I Need And Want The Mens Point of Views and the ladies. HELP!! (3541 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.05 on 156 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tiger Lilly (View user info) at 2008-11-16 05:07:51 EST
"Long ago
In someone else's lifetime
Someone with my name
Who looked a lot like me
Came to know
A man and made a promise
He only had to say
And that's where she would be
Lately Although her feelings run just as deep
The promise she made has grown impossible to keep
And yet I wish it wasn't so
Will he miss me if I go?"
On Saturday August 15th in front family members and friends, the two love birds got married and it was magnificent. The food was spectacular but the best part was watching the bride and groom and the way they looked at each other. Their eyes meeting followed by small grins of happiness. You could just see the admiration and love that they had for on another. It was as if they were meant to be together. And most importantly they always made time for the small things: walks in the park, picnics, art museums; they just love being together and it was evident. .
Seven months later is when their relationship changed. She discovered a side to him that he never presented to her and that is when the mental and physical abuse began.
Their fights were few and far between but were always his fault. You see Marijuana use, is something this man must smoke to keep on an even keel. Some take medicine, some use their own way of dealing with their issues whether to see therapists or social workers because I don't care how perfect you may think your life is, there are always skeletons and issues that people just hope will go away. Problems don't go away. They get pushed aside, swept under a rug or just completely ignored all together. When problems go unnoticed and untreated they only get bigger and I say this all the time.
Sidenote: Here at Ubersite, for some reason people frown about taking medicine or seeing therapists or just 'dealing with life'. It's hare for some people. And I'm not afraid for one second to admit that I talk to a therapist weekly for nonbiased opinions on my life. She ofters me non biased insight on how to raise children that aren't mine, being a new wife and dealing with the stress and she teaches me a plethora of other relaxing techniques that have really changed me and my outlook on life. So you can all sit there and judge me all you want but let me get one thing straight to EVERY single one of you out there, everyone has issues and skeletons and no one is perfect. When I think about the names people called me when I was growing up and how upset I was, this was detrimental to a child and to this day I'm still dealing with it.
Continuing on, as time went buy their fights and altercations bruises and skin marks became more frequent. A guy who'd do anything for his wife. Calls her the most beautiful things every day but within in an instant he' become an irrational bastard. DoctorJekel and Mr. Hyde would come out there was the never the sweet man who thought beautiful and loved. He would become completely irrational when he didn't smoke pot for two days and would take it out on everyone around him. He'd yell, scream throw fits and basically would act like a spoiled little brat. That isn't expectable. ESPECIALLY around young children. Unable to leave the house because he blocks the door an won't let her leave. He grabbed her cell phone and even chased her out of the house so she couldn't leave. This behavior is NOT acceptable and. he is in need of serious help and I'm worried that his erratic temper and illogical thinking could end up hurting himself or those around him that love him.
"In a way, it's someone else's story
I don't see myself as taking part at all
I don't need a
A reason to be lonely
I should take my chances
Further down the line
And if that girl I once knew should ask my advice
Oh I wouldn't hesitate she needn't ask me twice
Go now!
I'd tell her that for free
Trouble is, the girl is me
the story is, and the girl is me"
The trouble is the girl is me and I love my husband more than I've ever loved anything on this earth. And I value our marriage vows, for better for worse, for sickness and health. But I'm scared. Do I stand by him and pray and hope this doesn't happen again, or provide him the support he needs. That's what a good wife would do and he has finally admitted to an anger management problem and Is seeking professional help. But I still can't but wonder what if this happens again. I'm really scared that man I fell in love with was a phony all along and I don't know what to do.
Does love conquer all?
User Reviews
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-08 01:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2008-11-21 20:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i actually kind of respect the guy.. i cant even tell my girlfriend i want a night off from her let alone beat her senseless in front of some children.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2008-11-19 11:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a fiance who would throw punches at me, pretty much whenever we had a big fight. One time she punched me in the side as I was turning around and I back handed that bitch so hard. I seriously thought I'd never hit a girl, so ladies unless you want to be pimp smacked don't hit your man on the regular or you might turn him into a wife beater.
Sounds like you married a teary eyed little bitch of a man though. I gave up ganja cold turkey for womenz before, not a problem just need extra sex for the first few days. Its actually pretty cool once your brain starts working normally again. The door blocking thing sounds pretty creepy. I've tried to talk down a girl from running out of her/my place but physically restraining is too rapisty for me.
Submitted by pigpen2917 (user info) at 2008-11-18 19:10:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Look I know you love him and want to stand by your marriage vows but to what extent? Are they worth dying over? I know you are saying "oh he would never go that far" but how many women before you have said the same thing? You need to get out and get out now! This will only continue and soon enough it will esculate into alot worse. It may be hard to do but you have to get away from this man immediatley! Think of how your family will feel when they get that phone call in the night that you are in the hospital or even worse dead.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-11-18 15:01:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you lose the use of a leg do your arms become stronger like with a blind person's hearing? Just beat him up with you super gimp arms.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2008-11-18 08:04:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucked.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-11-18 04:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Really needs to keep away from the drugs below. I mean, is it like your job or something?
Submitted by jakelangster (user info) at 2008-11-18 04:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahoy! I am the Uber police.
Watch me as I moan, groan and dish out punishment to those I feel that have wronged me !
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-11-17 17:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/119840
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-11-17 17:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*BAM*
iron my string vest, bitch!
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-11-17 17:03:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-17 16:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-11-17 11:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a friend whose younger sister is in a similar situation. Her boyfriend, who she's been with for a couple of years, is much older than her - as in old enough to be her dad. He's a nice enough guy most of the time but every time we hang out with them, white-trash drama breaks out. She's a young, intelligent, beautiful girl who takes his abuse repeatedly - hitting, breaking her cell phone, screaming (loooots of screaming), getting the cops called on his ass, the whole 9.
The only explanation I can come up with is that she likes the drama, because she continues to be with the guy despite all the bullshit AND the fact that everyone she knows hates him. Take that as you will.
=====================================================
is this chick in Atlanta? because if she needs a nice guy like me to bang her, i will. i'll be here all week. i've helped lots of chicks in abusive relationships by banging them silly. i'm truly a humanitarian, i know.
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You know, it sounds like the older sister is also quite distressed and likely suffering from some abuse herself. You better bang them both just to be on the safe side.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2008-11-17 17:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Either dump his sorry ass, or hire a couple of homeless people to beat him with a tire iron.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-11-17 17:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-17 16:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-11-17 11:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a friend whose younger sister is in a similar situation. Her boyfriend, who she's been with for a couple of years, is much older than her - as in old enough to be her dad. He's a nice enough guy most of the time but every time we hang out with them, white-trash drama breaks out. She's a young, intelligent, beautiful girl who takes his abuse repeatedly - hitting, breaking her cell phone, screaming (loooots of screaming), getting the cops called on his ass, the whole 9.
The only explanation I can come up with is that she likes the drama, because she continues to be with the guy despite all the bullshit AND the fact that everyone she knows hates him. Take that as you will.
=====================================================
is this chick in Atlanta? because if she needs a nice guy like me to bang her, i will. i'll be here all week. i've helped lots of chicks in abusive relationships by banging them silly. i'm truly a humanitarian, i know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You, sir, are a gentleman and an inspiration.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-17 16:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-11-17 11:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a friend whose younger sister is in a similar situation. Her boyfriend, who she's been with for a couple of years, is much older than her - as in old enough to be her dad. He's a nice enough guy most of the time but every time we hang out with them, white-trash drama breaks out. She's a young, intelligent, beautiful girl who takes his abuse repeatedly - hitting, breaking her cell phone, screaming (loooots of screaming), getting the cops called on his ass, the whole 9.
The only explanation I can come up with is that she likes the drama, because she continues to be with the guy despite all the bullshit AND the fact that everyone she knows hates him. Take that as you will.
=====================================================
is this chick in Atlanta? because if she needs a nice guy like me to bang her, i will. i'll be here all week. i've helped lots of chicks in abusive relationships by banging them silly. i'm truly a humanitarian, i know.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-17 16:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:05:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He touches you again, you break his fucking hand. I don't care if you have to do it while he's asleep, with a hammer, but you do it. You break the fucking hand.
=================================================================
great advice. if i was an abusive husband and my wife broke my hand while i was asleep, i would totally realize what a prick i've been and NOT kill her for breaking my hand!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-11-16 21:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I call bullshit.
_________________
Hmmm...
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Feeling the need to weigh in here I have a few thoughts.
First off... I would venture that him smoking weed is not something that wasn't known to you prior to marrying. That being the case I don't think that it should be categorized as the reason or contributing to the problems he/you/you both have. Not to mention, I wouldn't really say that Marijuana elicits that kind of behavior from people, Hell maybe he needs to smoke more... Not to downplay your clearly troubled situation.
Secondly, without knowing the details of your situation I feel I can make a couple general assessments of the contents of this post, starting with your apparent lack of knowledge of this side of your husband. And I have to say that I a skeptical of that being the truth. I would more likely say that this side of him, namely the controlling insecure side, was most likely a trait that you turned a blind eye to due to your loving infatuation, OR you got too close too fast.
I am a big advocate of the concept of accepting people for who they are. All too often people in our world depart on a path of a relationship with a counterpart, with an understanding that it is a WORK IN PROGRESS... My opinion is that these relationships are doomed from the start. You CANNOT go in to a relationship hoping that the things about a person that you don't like, will change, OR worse yet, that you will be able to change. This mentality will only breed resentment and bitterness because not only will the person realize that they are being manipulated, but the manipulator will resent the other for not changing, which will breed frustration, and apathy, and anger, and disappointment... all which are catalysts for the types of problems you seem to be having.
I know that this may sound terribly cliche' but, the first place you need to start is with talking to him. I mean honestly you are airing the intimate details of your life with your spouse, to a group of total strangers, free from the burden of true concern for your personal well-being. We have ALL felt and seen the wrath of the forum troll. This is a delicate issue that should be discussed in an environment of love a trust with your significant other, a trusted friend or family member, a doctor, a therapist or a member of the clergy. Not with a motley collection of people on an internet forum sandwiched between a paint rendering of something with penises or a story about licking a bum's ass (no offense Bart)
Long story short, Talk to your husband. If you can't talk to him, talk a therapist. It really sounds like you need family counseling, truth be told, it sounds like your husband needs counseling more than anything.
I am not a mental health professional, so I am not sure what you really need to do, what I AM sure of is that you aren't going to find the answers or solutions that you need here on Ubersite.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you're codependent, he's a violent drug addict. who would want to leave that paradise?!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LOOK!
AN O!
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V
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:05:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He touches you again, you break his fucking hand. I don't care if you have to do it while he's asleep, with a hammer, but you do it. You break the fucking hand.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-11-17 14:49:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't you choose to ignore the warnings from those that know him best, and married him anyway?
Looks like you found your Heathcliff.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-17 14:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Moose and Rocko"....Buahahahahahahahaaa
WANG, IT'S A PARKING LOT.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2008-11-17 13:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why did his first wife leave him? Didn't you two used to be pals?
Ask her.
If that doesn't work, call Moose and Rocco. They helped the judge find his checkbook, maybe they can help you.
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-11-17 12:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stay, you can change him. All those other chicks who stayed with their abusive husbands and got murdered just weren't trying hard enough.
Have you thought about cheating on him? You know, to show him you have other options? Maybe if he gets jealous enough he'll realize what a fuck he's been.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-11-17 12:45:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ground rules first of all.
1. I am old
2. My life has been spent helping the lost and confused, it defines me.
3. trust my knowledge.
leave him.
Yes, you love him, he may even love you too.
it hurts, I understand.
It WILL pass.
but you must get away from this situation.
He put his hands/ threatens a woman.
his violent outrages are in front of his children.
he needs to smoke to stay on an even keel.
HE
IS
TRASH
A dope smoking, violent, failure.
No ubersite masculine bullshit.
No "you dont understand him"
No "whats wrong witha little pot to unwind"
Fuck that!
TRASH
and it will be only a matter of time before something horrible happens.
get out.
let him get help
be supportive, from a distance.
see what the future brings, not six months a year or more.
there is NO GREY AREA
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-11-17 11:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a friend whose younger sister is in a similar situation. Her boyfriend, who she's been with for a couple of years, is much older than her - as in old enough to be her dad. He's a nice enough guy most of the time but every time we hang out with them, white-trash drama breaks out. She's a young, intelligent, beautiful girl who takes his abuse repeatedly - hitting, breaking her cell phone, screaming (loooots of screaming), getting the cops called on his ass, the whole 9.
The only explanation I can come up with is that she likes the drama, because she continues to be with the guy despite all the bullshit AND the fact that everyone she knows hates him. Take that as you will.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-11-17 11:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 01:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh. and call the mother of those kids and tell them what he does to you. and go to the cops and file a police report.
===
arrested for blocking a door and grabbing a cell phone.
wow
i know a couple of policemen and they see many women trying to get their husband locked up cuz he raised his tone and won't obey that they don't even consider it an emergency in most cases, unless someone his clearly in harm's way on the phone.
chicks like you are the reason this happens.
-------
if she's got marks on her then that takes strong enough physical contact to harm her. she may bruise easily, but this doesn't sound like fun rough housing. you don't have to get some arrested to file a police report in ct. you just talk to an officer, fill out a statement and sign it. she doesn't need to press charges and because of the right to see your accuser unless she does go up as a witness the cops won't proceed with criminal charges because it's a waste of paper.
if you get violent in front of children you shouldn't be around them. they're not her kids but if she gave a shit about them she'd tell the mother.
chicks like me tend to handle our own shit because no one comes to our rescue. i'm telling her to handle it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-11-17 10:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bend over, big boy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-17 10:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Time to bang Shlongy!
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-11-17 10:26:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Time to take flight.
Submitted by masteruser (user info) at 2008-11-17 09:56:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 02:11:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
silvrwolf - smoking pot is also a felony.
___________________________
What a fucking idiot.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-11-17 09:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have been married for a long time. Only once in all those years have I become enraged to the point of physical violence. fortunately I was able to restrain myself and walk away.
I have a very violent temper, my first reflex in almost any circumstance is the most violent one.
It took me a long time to learn to control it.
The temper is a demon, and once you give it any ground you start to slide. The farther you go the harder it is to go back.
It really comes down to this. Do you think he can be saved from himself?
Only you can decide that.
Do not let the abuse resume under any circumstances though.
g'luck
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-11-17 09:12:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This sounds almost exactly like my marraige, except that we don't have children, and I've never laid an angry hand on my wife.
My wife needs to see a therapist more often, and we both see psychologists.
I also smoke pot as a self-medication routine, and yes, if I don't have my medicine for a few days, I become imbalanced, much like she will if she goes a day or so without her Lamictal.
But the difference is, I'm not abusive toward my wife. That is something which has been ingrained in me from an early age, you NEVER hit a woman. To do so makes you less than a man.
While I really think you came to the wrong place for advice on the matter, I'll give some regardless of whether it's wanted or not:
Buy a stun gun. Learn to use it.
Know thyself and thy limitations of how much bullshit you're willing to put up with.
If your limitations are reached and breached, use the stun gun, and go away.
If reconciliation is possible, write up an agreement, legal or otherwise, stating that if the problem returns, he must leave, you keep the house/kids/etc., and have it signed and notarized.
Hope I didn't go too far in all that.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-11-17 08:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stab him the next time he gets out of line
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, once I realized this was serious I just started to hear
"This boot is made for walking, and that's just what it'll do
one of these days this boot is gonna walk all over you."
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The point is...you don't have to be married, but you feel you do.
my mom was in abusive relationships all my life. now i'm not talking your run of the mill grabbing and bruising, I'm talking about police regularly, I'm talking kitchen knives to the throat, stabbings, hospitals and miscarriages and on and on. for a while I thought she was just the unluckiest girl in the world but as I got older and tired of fighting with her husbands/boyfriends/flings I realized her fault in the matter.
The behavior signs were always there...and she ignored them.
Once the abuse started she didn't end the relationship immediately.
Once she knew what flipped him, what turned mr. hand into mr. fist, she used it against him.
There are always 2 sides to an abusive relationship...one person that loses control when a situation arrives and one that gains.
Chemical dependence is one thing I think marriages should work through but abuse is a different story because there is physical harm so all physicality should cease immediately and THEN counseling could happen.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 06:55:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Very funny Caul. Actually i rarely use either. i don't chat much online, i usually just use my puter for looking up things, research, and the occasional free porn. I haven't chatted much at all recently except with habeeb here n there
we could have used that gabby thing.
i wasn't gonna show you my boobs....not on a 1st chat that is.
i'm a 3rd chat boob showing gal...i have standards after all!
anyway just was awake and bored too, thought we could kill some time talking about random shit, we both seem much more mellow these days so i thought it would be cool. you are in no way obligated to chat with me or like me..lol just ignore me if you'd rather.
speaking of boobs, someone should do some more, boobs, butts and peeners of uber posts...i's contribute to that again...in a bra of course...i don't do internet nudity, it's in my contract.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 06:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you have a messenger? We can cyber.
Actually I'd like to chat with ya to kill some time myself.
I have Aim ot yahoo.
===
people still use aim?
i thought everybody had msn.
you'll have to show your boobs to someone else :-\
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-11-17 06:08:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I normally reckon a couple can work through anything, but I draw the line at physical abuse. Get rid of him, he's not worth it, etc, etc. Even if he promises to change, I dunno. I'm a guy and I know the kind of things that we'll come out with in order to keep a relationship together when we've fucked up.
We say what we know you want to hear. I've said "I'll never cheat again," with tears in my eyes, and had absolutely no intention of turning down some sex if a random girl offered it.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-11-17 05:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There's always someone better out there and in this case it sounds especially true. Hitting girls is not cool. Leave him or shut up.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-11-17 04:44:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This reminds me of one time when I was in my bedroom getting ready. I had been watching SATC whilst moisturising and exfoliating, and at the end of the episode it went back onto the DVD menu. This was filled with clips from the series that played on a loop, snappy little remarks and witty one-liners. There was one clip where Miranda was trying to fix her bed karma by buying new bedsheets, lots of nice cushions and a throw.
Carrie was there and asks her a question (I forget now) and Miranda answers: 'Exactly. If you build it, he will cum.'
I don't know if they'd spelled it 'cum' or 'come' in the script, but she definitely pronounced it 'cum.' It was a very sexy, wanton sentence. I let the DVD loop that scene over and over again, getting more and more excited every time she said it. The little slut. Eventually I began wanking my rock-hard cock and stroking my thighs, until I finally spunked all over the screen.
The funny thing is, Miranda is my least favourite from SATC. I normally shudder when she tries to be sexy. There was just something about they way she said 'cum.'
But yeah, this post totally reminded me of that.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 04:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hi Merlina!
How are ya hun?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 04:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sadly, as it has been said, I have my doubts if this is real or not simply because you are a heat whore and the guy in question was so 'swell' on other posts. Lady, if this is a crock of shite you have sunk lower than level scum. It is bad enough informing us of your step kids masturbation habits but this would be one step too far.
--------------------------------------------
I hope that isn't the case. i hate giving heartfelt advice to someone who duped me.
Then again, i wouldn't wish this situation on anyone so it's good for everything else but my ego if it's fake. :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-17 04:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Merlina! :)
I think everyone is entitled to fuck up big ONCE whether it be cheating, a punch in the face, whatever. It is up to the individual concerned if they choose to forgive, stay, work it out. But if you choose this TL then you have to be solid on the fact that should it happen again you leave. No messing.
Sadly, as it has been said, I have my doubts if this is real or not simply because you are a heat whore and the guy in question was so 'swell' on other posts. Lady, if this is a crock of shite you have sunk lower than level scum. It is bad enough informing us of your step kids masturbation habits but this would be one step too far.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2008-11-17 04:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Love conquers all? Thats a crock of shite.
Its all a matter of boundaries and what yours are. Some people stay with people who are abusive - whether physical or mental and some don't. Some to try and 'save' the other person, some who don't like being alone and some who look at marriage vows as the 'be all and end all'.
Incidently, staying with someone like that is just telling them that it's okay to behave that way so is actually making them worse instead of better.
I'd be long gone.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oops i scared him away.
It's ok caul you don't have to chat with me.
I know it's a big step, lol.
Just thought it would be interesting since you may be mean sometimes but your not a total moron.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
actually does that gabble or gabbly, or whatever it was called still work?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you have a messenger? We can cyber.
Actually I'd like to chat with ya to kill some time myself.
I have Aim ot yahoo.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Off topic:
Caul what are ya doing always online at this crazy hour?"""
i've been out of a contract for like a month. i'm bored to death.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's tough when kids are involved, even when they are not your own. It's actually worse sometimes because you wonder if you are leaving them in a bad or dangerous situation. Even if you are not their parent you still care and worry about them.
The best thing to do is just be realistic.
Look at his past, look at EVERYTHING, even what it hurts to see.
Then decide realistically if real change and happiness is even possible.
I don't know either of you but stepping back, maybe going to stay with family or friends for a bit just to think may do wonders for both of you.
Going thru this type of stuff sucks, period. No matter whose fault it is or who should've known better. We have all been a fool for love at least once in our lives. Some people make careers out of it. Don't be one of those people.
I'm being kind and non-judgemental because it seems you've had enough judgement on this thread. And the fact that you posted this here in the first place tells me you must have felt helpless and desperate when you clicked submit.
I'm not gonna kick you when you are down. I really do think you need to analyze your life and decide once and for all what you want it to be and make it so even it's scary.
Off topic:
Caul what are ya doing always online at this crazy hour?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:24:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
keep going, you might cam2cam soon ;-)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:20:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't get a thorn in your cunny over it, princess. If I wanted to tongue her ass, I would just ask. I know; I've seen me do it.
Did your IQ drop sharply while I was away from Uber? I don't know where you're getting all this "support" nonsense from. All I said was that it won't stop and she should get out. And just where did you get that the law doesn't matter? I hope I'm just misunderstanding you. You're not actually trying to compare smoking weed to spousal abuse (physical or emotional), are you?
I gave an opinion on a post that asked for opinions. I'm sorry if that interferes with your exceedingly childish and petty vendetta against her. But don't try to call me out on some juvenile "you-wanna-suck-her-asshole" schtick, Petunia. I'll tell you what: if you don't like what I had to say about her post, I'll give 30 minutes to draw a crowd and you can kiss MY ass.
I'm grumpy.
We can fight tomorrow.
I'm going to bed soon.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 02:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-11-17 02:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell, man? First of all, most pot offenses are misdemeanors, lest he be slinging copious amounts of the cannabis. More importantly, he's not shoving bud down her throat or using her to pay off his dope debts; he's becoming increasingly abusive. """
oh ok, so the law doesn't matter all of a sudden.
Look, the dude has a history of abusive, violent behavior. I'm sure he has a history of acting like he wants to change and/or has turned the proverbial corner, too. That doesn't mean she should accept that type of behavior. """
history? didn't she swears she didn't he was like that before?
Out of curiosity: What's with the long-standing animosity between you and TL? You always seem to be bulldogging her about whatever. Not that I care; I was just wondering if there was an initial catalyst for it. """
there's no animosity. she's just a dumb cunt with the emotional integrity of a 12 years old IMO. i can tell you want to tongue her asshole with all that girlfriend support. and it's ok, to each his own.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-11-17 02:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, that was hard to read. Obvious troll is obvious.
Submitted by DanielJackings (user info) at 2008-11-17 02:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Lulzy drama is lulzy
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-11-17 02:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell, man? First of all, most pot offenses are misdemeanors, lest he be slinging copious amounts of the cannabis. More importantly, he's not shoving bud down her throat or using her to pay off his dope debts; he's becoming increasingly abusive.
Look, the dude has a history of abusive, violent behavior. I'm sure he has a history of acting like he wants to change and/or has turned the proverbial corner, too. That doesn't mean she should accept that type of behavior.
Out of curiosity: What's with the long-standing animosity between you and TL? You always seem to be bulldogging her about whatever. Not that I care; I was just wondering if there was an initial catalyst for it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 02:11:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
silvrwolf - smoking pot is also a felony. is that unacceptable too while you're going down that legal road?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-11-17 01:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all, Caul, I made neither reference to nor care about whose fault anything was. In any case I've heard, there are three sides to every story: his side, her side and the truth. The blame game is irrelevant; she admits that no one is perfect in the next paragraph.
And second, preventing someone from leaving an area in which they no longer wish to be is not only unacceptable, it's unlawful in most (if not all) states. Unlawful detainment is a felony in my state.
I merely was trying to state that she has set a precedent by not leaving when the abuse first happened. I don't give two red fucks if she drove him to it by putting mercury droplets in his coffee and I don't care if she was the perfect woman to him.
You know, it doesn't matter when it comes down to the core of it. You may sympathize with him. You may even understand why he does it. That doesn't mean she deserves it. She could be Hobie, The Peg-Leg Nympho Shit Flinger for all I care. I don't have to know TL personally to know what unaccpetable behavior is.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-11-17 01:23:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You either know the answer to this question already, or you're lying about the occurrences in the first place to get on top of Most Heated.
If it's the former, then pack your bags and clear your browser history. If it's the latter, then you deserve to be punched in the face for lying.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 01:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh. and call the mother of those kids and tell them what he does to you. and go to the cops and file a police report.
===
arrested for blocking a door and grabbing a cell phone.
wow
i know a couple of policemen and they see many women trying to get their husband locked up cuz he raised his tone and won't obey that they don't even consider it an emergency in most cases, unless someone his clearly in harm's way on the phone.
chicks like you are the reason this happens.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 01:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the reviews have two types of people.
those who know this is bullshit.
and those who use it has an opportunity to share their own abuse story.
kinda like a lojope rape post.
"i was raped too lojope, i feel you :-( "
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-17 01:03:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-11-16 20:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The babysitter of my kids was in an abusive relationship. Her husband started going to anger management, therapy and going to church. Everyone thought he'd seen the light. Six months later he beat the hell out of her in front of the kids, held her down and encouraged his eight year-old son to hit her too.
You're smarter than this. You seriously need to leave. If you choose to stay, it will continue. Don't be stupid.
===
Dude, she didn't get an ass beating like you depicted. He just chased her around and grabbed her cellphone. OMG!!1
My girlfriend once slapped me in the face while I was driving on the highway and I once grabbed her by the arm and pull her ass back inside our place. So what? It didn't "continue". In 3 years, that's the only times we crossed the line and in both cases, it was well deserved and we laugh about it.
I'll admit there are hopeless crazy abusive people in this world (I used to date one), but based on her theory that everything is his fault, that he's a spoiled brat and how TL is generally retarded, she probably holds her equal part of the blame on this.
Being married to such a thick stubborn cunt must really drive you up to the wall. Try having a rational conversation with her.
If she was so worried for her security, she wouldn't come to Ubersite, looking for an internet shoulder to cry on. She'd gtfo.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-11-16 23:28:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everybody makes mistakes.
Cut your losses and gtfo.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-11-16 23:25:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
get the fuck out, eh.
as a parting gift, make sure the proper authorities know that a physically abuse man has custody of minor children.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-11-16 22:54:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously, why are you asking this lot? If you're telling the truth and this isn't just another bid for attention, my advice would be to get yourself an 8 lb maul, smash his bowls, then break one of his arms. Nothing will shut him the fuck up quicker than an extremely bloody compound fracture.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-11-16 21:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I call bullshit.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-11-16 21:20:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
By staying with him you're enabling him and showing him that his behavior is acceptable.
Submitted by AngryforaLiving (user info) at 2008-11-16 20:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tiger Lilly,
If there is one thing that I have learned from the fucked up relationships I've had in my life, one thing that stands out from everything else, it is this: Love is not enough. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, love is not enough. I loved my ex more than anything else in the world. I loved her more than I loved myself. But she was a narcissist who was incapable of caring about anyone or anything except herself and she tore my fucking life apart. Now I'm not saying that your husband is a narcissist, but he does sound unbalanced, and that is a problem that cannot be solved by love. No matter how much you put in, no matter how hard you try, you cannot effect even the smallest change in his behavior. His actions are his responsibility, not yours, and the only person who can change this shit is him.
Supporting someone you love is admirable, and I think, worthwhile. But physical abuse is the line, and I think that you know that. I've been reading your shit for years, Tiger Lilly, and I don't think that you're stupid. When you find yourself staying in an abusive relationship, the question that needs to be asked is one that can't be answered while you're still caught up in it: What is it, in ME, that makes me want this? I can tell you that when my ex was lying to me, running around, fucking any guy that would buy her a drink in a bar, I asked myself every day why I was staying with her. I told myself that it was because I loved her, that she really did love me, that she was just young, and impulsive, and soon she'd realize that I was the one she really wanted and she'd settle down. Horseshit.
But at the time, I was so fucking twisted up in her that I really, truly believed it. It was only after we split up, and I looked back from outside that I was able to realize that she was a heartless egomaniac, and the only reason, the ONLY reason that I stayed with her for so long is because of ME. Because I'M fucked up. It had nothing to do with her, it was all about me. I stayed in that relationship with someone who consistently treated me like shit, because unconsciously, that's what wanted for myself, what I thought I deserved, because 20 years ago when I was four, my father used to kick the living shit out of me. I'm sure you can tell, but I also spend a lot of time talking to my therapist, I'm a huge proponent of therapy, I think everyone should go.
All that, to say this: Everything hinges on perspective. I think that supporting your husband is a great idea, but the line between supporting and facilitating is impossible to see when you're too close to it. The only way to be able to make sound decisions, particularly where physical abuse is involved, is to take a step back, remove yourself from the situation, get some perspective, and assess it from outside. You need to be able to figure out what it is in you that makes you want this. There's no way you can be of any help to him if you don't understand yourself.
Anger Management and Drug Counseling are an excellent place to start, but he needs to WANT it, more than he wants to be angry, and more than he wants to do drugs. Sobriety doesn't come cheap: you have to WANT it. For some people, all it takes is themselves, just simply waking up in the morning one day, and realizing that they want to change. Some people need someone in their life, just one person, to reach out and try to help them change. Some people, have to hit absolute, complete, rock-bottom and lose everything they care about before they finally get it through their thick heads. And some people, no matter what, will NEVER fucking get there. Ever. I don't know which of those categories your husband falls into, but that's not the issue. The important thing for you is to figure out which of those categories YOU fall into. What will it take for YOU to recognize that this is an unhealthy relationship, and it either needs to change, or end?
I hope you read this Tiger, and I hope you find a solution, whatever that is for you. Do something, though. I've watched violence and abuse my whole life, this will not stop, it will not change. Unless you make it. But please, if you take NOTHING else from this novel of a response I've just written, remember this: Love is not enough.
P.S. I enjoy your posts.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-11-16 20:32:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We could always send Oathmeal an anonymous message saying that this asshole talked shit about his mother, then it's instant crumpling time!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 20:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-11-16 20:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're smarter than this.
====================================================
i seriously disagree.
hey, maybe you can PRAY and it will all get better!
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-11-16 20:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No amount of therapy is going to help your situation. Even if he decides at some point not to hit women anymore, it won't be while with you, simply because you've already shown that you'll accept that type of behavior. That you didn't leave immediately and choose to stay now virtually guarantees it won't stop with you. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but it's the truth.
He may get the help he needs, grow a pair and not beat his next girlfriend, but he WILL NOT stop doing it to you.
The babysitter of my kids was in an abusive relationship. Her husband started going to anger management, therapy and going to church. Everyone thought he'd seen the light. Six months later he beat the hell out of her in front of the kids, held her down and encouraged his eight year-old son to hit her too.
You're smarter than this. You seriously need to leave. If you choose to stay, it will continue. Don't be stupid.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2008-11-16 20:03:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You love the guy and his kids, OK. Do you ever hit any of them? I bet not. If he loved you he would not feel it proper to hit you. Simple as that. Pack your shit and get out. If you're worried about the kids, call social services after you're someplace safe.
======================================================================
I like skrapmetals comment above. Someone else remarked, "real men don't hit women or children" and I couldn't agree more. Wait, that's pretty sexist of me because there are women with black belts who could kick my ass and your husbands too.
There is no simple answer here. One suggestion: Keep doing the things you know in your heart to be right; Be as strong as you can be... and practice those things which make you strong. In times of real crisis, strength (both inner and outer) is imperative. Sorry for the cliche but I'm hoping *time* will heal all the wounds. Good luck :-)
Submitted by Trishtopher (user info) at 2008-11-16 19:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Please get out...it's all part of the cycle and it will only get worse. You also owe it to those kids to make sure they're in a safe environment.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2008-11-16 18:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2008-11-16 18:46:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
great honk
-----------------------
Ye gods!
-----------------------
Sounds like trouble in River City.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2008-11-16 18:46:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
great honk
-----------------------
Ye gods!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-11-16 18:40:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
robs cool when he's not being whiny
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-11-16 18:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-16 14:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not brave because I would ever hurt them bob, just brave because I'm bloody hard work. I would make said man do regular zombie drills with me. BB guns will be used in said drills. We would need to save the live ammo for when they crest the hill.
____________________
Umm...I did this last weekend as a stress reliever (Seriously, except I used Nerf guns instead).
So...where's that sherbet fountain?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-11-16 18:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no bigotry here. I do not look down on losers, beaten wives, fags, or arrogant assholes. Here, you are all equally worthless
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 17:57:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-11-16 17:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-11-16 12:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wasting time talking to a bunch of jaded morons on a website about your problems is, as Lungfish already said, silly.
------------------------------------
If Ubersite were an abusive man, rob berg would be the beaten wife, resenting the abuse but stubornly refusing to leave.
================================================================
seriously? you could have picked anyone else like oathmeal or sicosemen, but rob berg? he seems like one of the normal people here and i use the word normal loosely because no one here is really "normal".
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-11-16 17:43:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
stubbornly, even.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-11-16 17:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-11-16 12:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wasting time talking to a bunch of jaded morons on a website about your problems is, as Lungfish already said, silly.
------------------------------------
If Ubersite were an abusive man, rob berg would be the beaten wife, resenting the abuse but stubornly refusing to leave.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-11-16 16:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't bother (-2)
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2008-11-16 16:49:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't even been married for 2 months, and I'm sure she's sick of me.
I probably wouldn't give the best advice... but i'm going to anyways.
You should cheat on him with very attractive women. And then get caught one day... on the living room floor or something. Mention something about him jumping in, along with the optional put-it-in-your-ass offer.
That'd probably cure all your problems for at least a month or two. Small price to pay for some happy.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:59:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
apollo ftw
his ex even warned you in the replies he linked
looks like you're not gonna the pity you were expecting on ubersite. how surprising.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everybody makes mistakes.
Cut your losses and gtfo.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:42:47 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
reminds me of that dumb bitch i know who settled down with a guy who was partying 7 days a week cuz he was so cool and rebellious. now she complains because she just realized he's an alcoholic. lol
-----------------
lol
Also, I don't think he tricked you into believing he was such a great guy, TL, chances are you were kidding yourself how 'great'
--------------
I'm serious when I say that. I had no idea.
=======================================================
people don't just turn from the nicest person in the world to a wife beating drug addict. i'm sorry to shatter your naivety, but it just doesn't happen. there's always signs. i'm sure they were glaringly obvious but you chose to ignore them. i don't know you, but that's my opinion based on experiences whilst living in reality in the grown-up world.
i could be wrong. he may have been the nicest guy in the world but your incessant nagging turned him crazy to the point where he needed to be on drugs just to be around you and you eventually drove him over the edge to the point where he lost control and hit you. i've had girlfriends like that, although i've never hit any of them. a real man doesn't do that.
the dude was a scumbag prior to this, read her posts, she even brought the real life drama here with the ex-girlfriend and ex-wife both of whom were 'mental' and poor wittle steven was 'misunderstood' and only katie could save him.
"blah blah blah everyone who isn't gushing with happiness that this scumbag has duped me is lonely and a loser who could never find love blah blah blah."
well excuse me, you one legged cunt, if I don't feel sorry for you now, your bed is made, lie in it.
you gush about how much those kids mean to you then stfu and live in misery for the rest of your life because after all they've been through surely if you loved them you wouldn't break up another home of theirs?
post a pic of your next black eye and get his dinner on.
=================================================================
well there ya go. not further comments are needed. Apollo just solved it for you.
he's right- you made your bed, now lie in it or muster whatever self-respect you can and leave.
i wouldn't worry about it too much, though. Obama got elected and he's going to changed the world and save your marriage. HA!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh. and call the mother of those kids and tell them what he does to you. and go to the cops and file a police report. if you're not going to press charges or save yourself, the kids don't need to be around that and the mother of those children has the right to know that someone she leaves them in the care of is violent and doing illegal substances. best to do that on the way out the door though as he will probably hit you for that.
if you want to be a good person, save the kids. they deserve a decent father.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you need to join my crime and evil fighting team with FG. She's a cracking shot too! Just ask the little buggers that used to hang around the graveyard next to her house!
Everyone needs a zombie plan. They are coming and they're hungy.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 12:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i could be wrong. he may have been the nicest guy in the world but your incessant nagging turned him crazy to the point where he needed to be on drugs just to be around you and you eventually drove him over the edge to the point where he lost control and hit you. i've had girlfriends like that, although i've never hit any of them. a real man doesn't do that.
================
Sigh.
I have to agree with dickhead "look at me I'm so handsome see my camwhore I've been drinking and fucking and have experienced everything there is to experience in the world" asshole.
I does go down that way sometimes.
=============================================================
sorry you're jealous of me, partner. put down that drink and get some ambition and maybe you can try to live a life half as interesting as mine.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:42:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-16 14:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not brave because I would ever hurt them bob, just brave because I'm bloody hard work. I would make said man do regular zombie drills with me. BB guns will be used in said drills. We would need to save the live ammo for when they crest the hill.
--------
you may be the first woman i'd ever consider marrying.
I TOTALLY HAVE A ZOMBIE SURVIVAL PLAN!! and good aim.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pot is bad for clinical depression or bipolar as it tends to make the symptoms worse. much like alcohol.
if he's hitting you, leave. that's not as bad as it can get and you can't change him.
=============
Again, FTW.
Take it from a drunk.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the dude was a scumbag prior to this, read her posts, she even brought the real life drama here with the ex-girlfriend and ex-wife both of whom were 'mental' and poor wittle steven was 'misunderstood' and only katie could save him.
"blah blah blah everyone who isn't gushing with happiness that this scumbag has duped me is lonely and a loser who could never find love blah blah blah."
well excuse me, you one legged cunt, if I don't feel sorry for you now, your bed is made, lie in it.
you gush about how much those kids mean to you then stfu and live in misery for the rest of your life because after all they've been through surely if you loved them you wouldn't break up another home of theirs?
post a pic of your next black eye and get his dinner on.
=============
Pollo FTW.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pot is bad for clinical depression or bipolar as it tends to make the symptoms worse. much like alcohol.
if he's hitting you, leave. that's not as bad as it can get and you can't change him.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
great honk
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:42:47 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
reminds me of that dumb bitch i know who settled down with a guy who was partying 7 days a week cuz he was so cool and rebellious. now she complains because she just realized he's an alcoholic. lol
-----------------
lol
Also, I don't think he tricked you into believing he was such a great guy, TL, chances are you were kidding yourself how 'great'
--------------
I'm serious when I say that. I had no idea.
=======================================================
people don't just turn from the nicest person in the world to a wife beating drug addict. i'm sorry to shatter your naivety, but it just doesn't happen. there's always signs. i'm sure they were glaringly obvious but you chose to ignore them. i don't know you, but that's my opinion based on experiences whilst living in reality in the grown-up world.
i could be wrong. he may have been the nicest guy in the world but your incessant nagging turned him crazy to the point where he needed to be on drugs just to be around you and you eventually drove him over the edge to the point where he lost control and hit you. i've had girlfriends like that, although i've never hit any of them. a real man doesn't do that.
the dude was a scumbag prior to this, read her posts, she even brought the real life drama here with the ex-girlfriend and ex-wife both of whom were 'mental' and poor wittle steven was 'misunderstood' and only katie could save him.
"blah blah blah everyone who isn't gushing with happiness that this scumbag has duped me is lonely and a loser who could never find love blah blah blah."
well excuse me, you one legged cunt, if I don't feel sorry for you now, your bed is made, lie in it.
you gush about how much those kids mean to you then stfu and live in misery for the rest of your life because after all they've been through surely if you loved them you wouldn't break up another home of theirs?
post a pic of your next black eye and get his dinner on.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:07:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wait a second..... isn't this the scumbag who 'changed', who was 'different' with you?
also:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/108375#2415574
and
http://www.ubersite.com/m/109486#2450628
leave the scumbag. meet some guy, fall in love after a couple of days, i'm sure it'll all be different next time.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-16 14:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not brave because I would ever hurt them bob, just brave because I'm bloody hard work. I would make said man do regular zombie drills with me. BB guns will be used in said drills. We would need to save the live ammo for when they crest the hill.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-11-16 14:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-16 14:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will provide endless supplies of sherbert fountains to anyone brave enough to marry me.
________________________________
O rly?
Physical abuse is never justified, never defensible and never forgivable.
No, love does not conquer all.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-16 14:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will provide endless supplies of sherbert fountains to anyone brave enough to marry me.
Über has spoken TL. I'm in agreement with the general concensus to get the he'll out of there.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-11-16 14:10:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
troof
|
|
|
V
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-11-16 13:48:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You should listen to Rob, his wife beats him regularly, then he draws her a cartoon and she forgives him for driving her to violence.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-11-16 13:44:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tig- if love conquers all, then shouldn't it be patient and listen and respect and nurture you, instead of chasing, lashing out and attempting to control you? What Circe said is exactly it- he makes a CHOICE each time he interacts with you.
Shouldn't love conquer his impulse to put his hands on you without your consent?
There is no place for physical aggression or violence in a healthy relationship. Ever, ever, ever.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-11-16 13:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this real?
If I ever hit a girl in a way that actually hurt her or scared the shit out of her, I wouldn't be able to get passed that. I'd be drunk for days and tell her she should leave me. I can't really imagine what causes that, but it is NOT something I'd allow to be an undercurrent in my life.
And to be completely honest, for females in my life, I've gone after guys for significantly less than what you're describing.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-11-16 13:39:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh man. I was just remembering what an asshole *I* was back when.
Good times. Good times.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2008-11-16 12:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WWPD?
(Palin, you betcha)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-11-16 12:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The fights were ALWAYS his fault?
Give your head a shake.
For what little any of the nerds around here have been exposed to - you seem like a nice enough person with some likable qualities - but if you don't agree with something someone you turn into an ignorant cunt with a chronic inability to see the other side of the argument. If you are any where near as stubborn and annoying when you step away from the computer I'm not surprised you get into fights that escalate beyond the verbal.
Bottom line it is unacceptable to tolerate abuse in any relationship. There is nothing healthy about it and it won't go away or fix itself. If your situation has become so toxic and volatile that he feels compelled to hit you, guess what: IT'S YOUR FAULT.
1) for sticking around to let him.
2) (and I'm just spitballing here) because you fucking deserve it.
End it, or get immediate couples therapy and table your issues. Wasting time talking to a bunch of jaded morons on a website about your problems is, as Lungfish already said, silly.
Good luck - but smarten the fuck up.
Submitted by TooMuchMan (user info) at 2008-11-16 12:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So the problem I have with such situations is that you claim to love him. How the fuck? How can a woman love a man who hits her? It's completely unfathomable to me. It's pretty much first part of the definition of love: not hitting someone.
A Four-Category Definition of How A Woman Can Know if She Loves Someone
1. He doesn't hit her
2. He is willing to sleep with her semi-regularly and make sure she gets off
3. He smells her farts WITHOUT complaining
4. He listens to her and shit or whatever
See? IT'S THE FIRST PART OF THE DEFINITION.
Sounds like what you have is something closer to co-dependency or fear of abandonment. Don't confuse that with love.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 12:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i could be wrong. he may have been the nicest guy in the world but your incessant nagging turned him crazy to the point where he needed to be on drugs just to be around you and you eventually drove him over the edge to the point where he lost control and hit you. i've had girlfriends like that, although i've never hit any of them. a real man doesn't do that.
================
Sigh.
I have to agree with dickhead "look at me I'm so handsome see my camwhore I've been drinking and fucking and have experienced everything there is to experience in the world" asshole.
I does go down that way sometimes.
Submitted by TooMuchMan (user info) at 2008-11-16 12:10:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 11:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
reminds me of that dumb bitch i know who settled down with a guy who was partying 7 days a week cuz he was so cool and rebellious. now she complains because she just realized he's an alcoholic. lol
-----------------
lol
Also, I don't think he tricked you into believing he was such a great guy, TL, chances are you were kidding yourself how 'great'
--------------
I'm serious when I say that. I had no idea.
=======================================================
people don't just turn from the nicest person in the world to a wife beating drug addict. i'm sorry to shatter your naivety, but it just doesn't happen. there's always signs. i'm sure they were glaringly obvious but you chose to ignore them. i don't know you, but that's my opinion based on experiences whilst living in reality in the grown-up world.
i could be wrong. he may have been the nicest guy in the world but your incessant nagging turned him crazy to the point where he needed to be on drugs just to be around you and you eventually drove him over the edge to the point where he lost control and hit you. i've had girlfriends like that, although i've never hit any of them. a real man doesn't do that.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-11-16 11:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
there's no reason you should even have to ask yourself that question. more women need it taught to them from childhood that if a man hits you, YOU LEAVE. always. love is nothing more than chemicals in your brain, anyway. do chemicals conquer all? no.
take circe's advice, if not mine. leave leave leave and good luck?
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-11-16 11:13:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you fucking kidding me?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-16 11:07:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha...you have no idea what 'anger' you're talking about. But, I do know you're a asshole so this comment doesn't surprise me.
===
so did he hit you or not? or did he just blocked the door and grabbed your cell?
those are completly different things. but then again, you're not known for rational thought.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 11:00:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHA!
I went to a gay bar once with a hetero chick I was dating too, dude! hahahahha. She insisted. I can't remember her name. Christina, I think.
IN TEXAS.
Do you know what they do to queers and niggers in Texas?
Some middle-aged dude came dancing up to me and I totally freaked the fuck out.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
People like you shouldn't be allowed to breed.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:48:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I went to a gay bar once. And only once. And only because the chick I was with insisted on it, as she had a gay friend there whom she wanted to see. Anyway, it was after-hours, and I had to drink Sprite. Fucking Sprite. In a gay bar. Sprite in a gay bar. Fuck. This one guy was wearing no shirt and fucking bandoleers. Jesus. Sprite.
Drinking fucking Sprite in a gay bar at 3 a.m. in downtown Cincinnati. Fuck.
In other news, I had heterosexual sex that night with the chick.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
People don't change and love certainly does NOT conquer all. Life isn't a fairy tale. Leave.
PS - did you really just post this here?!?!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lungfish, old man, I'd marry you, if I were gay, which I'm not.
I went to a gay wedding once. My ex-wife and I lived next door to a gay couple, and across the street, and lesbian couple. It was a double wedding deal. It wasn't legal, because in Michigan gay marriage is not legal. It was a ceremony only.
It was a fucking riot. I had never been to such a fun party before, or after.
Queers know how to party, man.
All four of them wore tuxedos. It was awesome.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you just ask the Ubersite populace for advice? Don't do that. That's silly.
But since you asked, leave sooner rather than later. I've never hit a woman, but my ex-wife used to hit me, and I let her. She had a pretty good punch, too. She never broke my jaw or nose, but a pretty good punch. It took a lot of willpower not to lay her out. Before punching me, she tried to hurt me by telling me about how many men she had slept with. "Every man in Show Low," apparently, which according to her, is why she left that shit-hole.
Anyway, after she realized that she couldn't hurt me physically, she aborted a child that I dearly wanted to keep. She did this to spite me. To hurt me. It worked. After that, I left the cunt.
My point is this: the abuse is likely to escalate. Some people are fucking crazy, and you can't change them.
I should have knocked the fuck out of that lady. She still calls occasionally to find out where I'm "at." Crazy cunt.
In other news, my current crazy wife is talking to me this morning. Weird.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now, if Sage104 was my wife, well that would be the end of it, wouldn't it?
Suicide.
Plain and simple.
Gun to the temple.
Goodbye, cruel world, all that.
<SHUDDER>
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:26:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was in a similar situation: http://www.ubersite.com/m/119623
I feel for you. I got a divorce because there is only so much that you can take. You dont deserve to be treated that way at all, ever.
Regardless of my situation I kept trying and kept trying. Had my ex decided to go to marriage counseling or even counseling on his own things may have ended up differently.
Good luck to you. Keep trying until you can't try anymore, because at least then you'll know you did everything YOU could to make it work. :)
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
reminds me of that dumb bitch i know who settled down with a guy who was partying 7 days a week cuz he was so cool and rebellious. now she complains because she just realized he's an alcoholic. lol
-----------------
lol
Also, I don't think he tricked you into believing he was such a great guy, TL, chances are you were kidding yourself how 'great'
--------------
I'm serious when I say that. I had no idea.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:17:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Their fights were few and far between but were always his fault."""
lol, are you sure about that?
as for the "abuse"...a man is showing some anger in a different form that what you saw in Sex In The City...so what? everyone acts erratically when pissed off. did he punch you in the ovaries?
no, but he should have.
seriously, not so long ago, you wouldn't quit talking about your fucking house and your marriage.
now put up and stfu.
-------------------------------------------------
Hahaha...you have no idea what 'anger' you're talking about. But, I do know you're a asshole so this comment doesn't surprise me.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heya, Jason-baby. If you were married to me, you'd be cursing the day I was born. I'm deeply unlikeable.
====================
I call shennanies on that, bitch.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 15:09:22 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now, Little Monster, on the other hand, if she were my wife, I'd go to church, and give to charity, and look after orphans, and pet doggies, and smile nonstop, and plant trees, and save the environment, and create world peace and universal prosperity, and find a cure for cancer, aids, and the common cold.
Just sayin.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What Circe said.
Leave. Simple.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do I stand by him and pray and hope this doesn't happen again""
Also, for fuck's sake, don't pray about it. Talking to the magical invisible sky-fairy never did anything for anyone.
Heya, Jason-baby. If you were married to me, you'd be cursing the day I was born. I'm deeply unlikeable.
Just sayin'. :-)
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:12:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Same goes for Circe. I'd teach the world to sing in perfect harmony if Circe were my wife.
Just sayin.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dump the motherfucker already.
You can think and worry all day, every day, about his emotional state and these kids you've connected with and whether or not it's the right thing to do, but the answer is, truly, very simple.
He hits you. That's not okay. That's not a character flaw. Feeling irrational sometimes is a character flaw. Getting angry for no reason is a character flaw.
Hitting is a choice. The act of physically raising your hand to somebody is a CHOICE, you have to decide to do it. He makes that choice over and over again.
Be clear on this, in its most simple terms:
He may not decide to get angry. That may be beyond his control.
He decides to hit you. He could control it. He doesn't choose to. He thinks, in that moment, that hitting you is an okay thing to do.
If something hurts, you stop doing it. Leave. It's not a question you need to ask. You don't need to justify it.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now, Little Monster, on the other hand, if she were my wife, I'd go to church, and give to charity, and look after orphans, and pet doggies, and smile nonstop, and plant trees, and save the environment, and create world peace and universal prosperity, and find a cure for cancer, aids, and the common cold.
Just sayin.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy has a good point there
*glances at Velcro shoes*
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-11-16 10:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It doesn't stop, trust me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry hon, but Uber is the LAST place you should be asking for opinions and/or help with relationships.
Most of the people here can barely tie their fucking shoes.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:43:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'd punch you in the cunt if you were my wife. And smoke a lot of weed. And get drunk more than I already do. And shoot heroin. And snort coke. And take speed and acid. And meth. and codeine, and advil, and aspirin non stop, and eat like a pig, and smoke cigars and cigarettes, and cut myself, and drink toilet water, and suck wino cock, and jump off a cliff.
If you were my wife.
Phew. Dodged a bullet never meeting you in life, didn't I?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:42:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know the dynamics of domestic violence as well as anyone else.
It won't stop and will escalate.
Dump his ass.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
reminds me of that dumb bitch i know who settled down with a guy who was partying 7 days a week cuz he was so cool and rebellious. now she complains because she just realized he's an alcoholic. lol
-----------------
lol
Also, I don't think he tricked you into believing he was such a great guy, TL, chances are you were kidding yourself how 'great' he really was. Love is blind and all that crap but chance are you were fooling yourself for years.
I will never forget speaking to a cop about my other half. He had only hit me the once but it was enough for me to come down on his ass like a ton of bricks and sort out my own failings. Anyway, the cop asked why I was with him and I replied 'I love him'. It sounded so lame. He asked why I loved him and after a moments thought I said 'he works really hard to provide for myself and the kids'. The cop pointed out that 99% of the population worked hard and it didn't make him special or worthy of love. Kind of a wake up call to realise you can think you are in love for all the wrong reasons.
I don't want to sound harsh but I think Caul was right, he was a pothead before you wed, you just probably thought it was cool or cute or kept quiet just to keep the relationship. Now it has perhaps contributed to something you don't like you are bagging him for it.
===============================================================
that's more along the lines of what i wanted to say, but i'm used to a different way of doing things. my father believed in tough love and when i was being a pussy, he told me to stop being a pussy. made me into a man. my dad is awesome.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
only white trash would say shit like "yeah, he has to smoke weed to keep his head straight and he has a bad temper and beats me, but hey, everyone has problems right?"
sorry, but everyone doesn't have problems like that. a grown adult doesn't go to ubersite when her husband beats her and asks what she should do. stop being such a pathetic excuse for a grown adult.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-11-16 09:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You love the guy and his kids, OK. Do you ever hit any of them? I bet not. If he loved you he would not feel it proper to hit you. Simple as that. Pack your shit and get out. If you're worried about the kids, call social services after you're someplace safe.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-11-16 08:57:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He 'sounds' a bit like me some 10 years ago and my first wife couldn't leave me either because she loved me. In the end I got my act together and left her.
He can only change if he changes. Help him by leaving and give him the chance to hit rock bottom.
Where drugs and love are involved most lovers/relatives/friends aren't capable of letting go.
What does your therapist say about this?
Goodluck.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2008-11-16 08:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's no excuse for physical abuse.
Best of luck.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-16 07:37:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brave thing you did here. You must be feeling very lonely and frightened. Not so much of him, but of the uncirtainty of the situation. If nothing else the emotional drain must be exhausting. The fact that kids are involved means that the issue is not just about you. In the end if you want to stick by him through some sense of guilt and duty, then no need judge you for that. Though please hold to mind that yesyou vowed to sickness and in health, he vowed to love and cherish you. Part of marrige is about loving and cherishing yourself so you can be the best possible person in your partnership. He isn't doing that yet. Hopefully he will follow through with getting help, because like I said, with kids involved, your priority is to keep them safe and secure. If he threatens either of these to basic requirements, you need to seek further help.
I hope you have family you can talk to and draw close around you so there is a basic support structure in place. Also consider that maybe taking yourself and the kids out of that abusive environent doesn't have to be the end of your marrige and relationship. It just means that you don't have to suffer whilst he is sorting himself out.
My gut reaction is to tell you to kick him to touch, but I'm trying to be realistic and it is perfectly understandable that you would want to explore all other options before leaving. Realizing a relationship is destructive is a horrible feeling not just because you are losing the man you love, but also the dreams and hopes you had for your future. Sadly wether you leave now or in ten years time, I think you alreadyknow how this is going to pan out. Sticking around until he is more incontrol will not soften the blow to him and you would not be doing him any favours as he will begin to see you as a crutch (not a bad pun intended).
Best of luck petal. Keep talking to people. Even über. You've faced down much hard times than this, but maybe non so confusing.
LM
P.S. Sorry about the spelling and grammer.
Submitted by Sincere (user info) at 2008-11-16 07:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He had only hit me the once but it was enough for me to come down on his ass like a ton of bricks
------
Ridiculous. Everyone deserves a smack, now and then.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
reminds me of that dumb bitch i know who settled down with a guy who was partying 7 days a week cuz he was so cool and rebellious. now she complains because she just realized he's an alcoholic. lol
-----------------
lol
Also, I don't think he tricked you into believing he was such a great guy, TL, chances are you were kidding yourself how 'great' he really was. Love is blind and all that crap but chance are you were fooling yourself for years.
I will never forget speaking to a cop about my other half. He had only hit me the once but it was enough for me to come down on his ass like a ton of bricks and sort out my own failings. Anyway, the cop asked why I was with him and I replied 'I love him'. It sounded so lame. He asked why I loved him and after a moments thought I said 'he works really hard to provide for myself and the kids'. The cop pointed out that 99% of the population worked hard and it didn't make him special or worthy of love. Kind of a wake up call to realise you can think you are in love for all the wrong reasons.
I don't want to sound harsh but I think Caul was right, he was a pothead before you wed, you just probably thought it was cool or cute or kept quiet just to keep the relationship. Now it has perhaps contributed to something you don't like you are bagging him for it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No argument is entirely one persons fault, and smoking is likely to be only a contributing factor.
===
she probably knew he smoked before, when he was the "best man on earth" that she bragged about all the time. but now suddenly this smoking thing is the very same reason why he is to blame about everything. go figure. why marry a pothead in the 1st place? are bipedes that rare?
reminds me of that dumb bitch i know who settled down with a guy who was partying 7 days a week cuz he was so cool and rebellious. now she complains because she just realized he's an alcoholic. lol
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:33:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
(He doesn't block the door or take away your cell phone after the event, so there is no excuse not to leave)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
To an extent, I agree with Caul. No argument is entirely one persons fault, and smoking is likely to be only a contributing factor.
Sadly, you will have to accept that flaws in your own personality allow him to get away with this.
Speaking from experience, leave him, prove to him you won't take no more shit and stand up for yourself. What a warped idea of love and marriage to believe you have to stick around.
Good luck.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
p.s. anyone serious about their marriage wouldn't ask uber for help. unless they'd want to look pitiful with a sad picture and emo poems.
http://stuff.ubersite.com/117794143251371532/1/stfu.jpg
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-11-16 06:17:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Their fights were few and far between but were always his fault."""
lol, are you sure about that?
as for the "abuse"...a man is showing some anger in a different form that what you saw in Sex In The City...so what? everyone acts erratically when pissed off. did he punch you in the ovaries?
no, but he should have.
seriously, not so long ago, you wouldn't quit talking about your fucking house and your marriage.
now put up and stfu.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-16 05:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL sorry about that, my Uber went mental.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-11-16 05:30:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My ex best mate smoked so much weed that he got to a point where he convinced himself that if he didn't smoke weed every day then he couldn't operate. This led to all manner of incidents that pissed his girlfriend off no end and they would split up every two weeks but get back together because they 'loved each other'. This went on for nearly two years before I stopped talking to them as he on his own was a liability (starting fights) and the two of them together were an embarrasment (public arguing).
Last I heard they were still in their break up get back together sick circle and that neither of them seemed particularly happy.
They should haven't broken up years ago, they may have loved each other but they just weren't compatable. If they had - they'd have a whole lot more friends now and had a whole lot more happiness over the last 3 years.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-16 05:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He needs help, if he wants it.... You need to make him realise if he doesn't try and get some then it all cant go on.
Im not justifying anything he's done becuse physical abuse is a step too far.
Gah this is a sunday morning!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-16 05:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He needs help, if he wants it.... You need to make him realise if he doesn't try and get some then it all cant go on.
Im not justifying anything he's done becuse physical abuse is a step too far.
Gah this is a sunday morning!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-16 05:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He needs help, if he wants it.... You need to make him realise if he doesn't try and get some then it all cant go on.
Im not justifying anything he's done becuse physical abuse is a step too far.
Gah this is a sunday morning!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-16 05:13:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He needs help, if he wants it.... You need to make him realise if he doesn't try and get some then it all cant go on.
Im not justifying anything he's done becuse physical abuse is a step too far.
Gah this is a sunday morning!