<Insert Headline Here> (928 hits)
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Submitted by JesterLilt (View user info) at 2009-07-20 06:48:05 EDT
I rarely watch the news... it's mostly bad but today I think I'm bored... Am I bored or just not at work with nowt to do? Who knows...
Before I proceed:
BBC FOR THE FUCKING WORLD!!!
Although this first bit isn't on the BBC or if it is, I wasn't looking for it there.
*checks the calendar*
Nope, not July the 22nd yet. Apparently this is a myth, there will be no tsunami. Shame, I've been getting used to a steady stream of natural disasters. We seem to be in plane crash season at the moment - not nearly as satisfying. I've never seen a solar eclipse. *puts it on the list of things to make sure she sees next time* Lol, popping tectonic plates, whatever next?
As I said, it's a myth and if you don't believe me snopes says so:
http://www.snopes.com/science/tsunami.asp
So, I've been sucked into the realms of World of Warcraft. I promised myself I wouldn't do it and I have. As theorised, I've since lost my life. I watched the WoW South Park ep last night and was creased the whole way through.
Ice Barrier - Mount - run around and attract lots of beasties - dismount - Ice Block - Break Ice Barrier - Beasties Freeze - Blink - Blizzard - Blizzard - Blizzard - pet as back up - DIE BEASTIES DIE! Soft squidgy mage pummels the world - yay!
Back to the news.
Credit crunch - really fed up of this now. Credit crunch, credit crunch, credit crunch, credit SMUNCH - ARRRRGH!!!! Things are cheaper, this is good and I never saved nowt anyway.
Still in Afghanistan? Just get out and leave them to blow each other up.
Something about the moon and Mars - *sudden interest* I'm sure I have an opinion on this - JUST DO IT! I want to go to Mars. I want to go to space. I want to live on a planet with a different coloured sky even though blue is my favourite colour. We need another space race. Everything is money money money. Can't we just do something for the sheer adventure and fun in doing it? I'll bet America and the USSR and a fucking splendid time racing each other into space. Also, reminding me to download and watch the latest series of Torchwood. Not that I'm a huge fan but I do love Doctor Who which means I must watch Torchwood. Why can't we have a moonbase? I read a book once about a moonbase using nanotechnology to extract minerals from the rock. They lived in a big underground colony. I think it's totally accomplishable - also see section on credit crunch - BOO!
Although, I am watching True Blood. Perhaps one of the best TV series I've seen in a long time. This is how Twilight should have been instead of angsty emo annoying girl I would have quite happily throttled.
Back to the news.
Gordon fecking Brown - What a pillock (all I've got to say about that).
Oooh, Nissan creating jobs - well that's new, fuck you credit smunch. Can't be assed to read it though, boring money stuff. Although I've come to the following conclusion on this:-
If Nissan don't create more jobs then there will be more people out of work...
Pretty genius huh? That's not all of it...
If Nissan don't create more jobs then there will be more people out of work and available to work for NASA or Russia depending on where their allegiances lie and then we'll get to Mars quicker.
This is a sound plan, I may talk to that pillock Gordon Brown about it.
User Reviews
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-08 14:26:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THIS NOISY CUNT???
Submitted by MissedMe (user info) at 2009-07-27 16:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Still an ugly lonely cunt I see...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-07-21 10:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Torchwood, whilst properly rubbish, does have the hilarious addition of every character getting off with everyone regardless of gender, species, or inanimate.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-07-21 10:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i agree entirely.
Except the whole Torchwood thig - Dr Who sucks cock and so did TW. I do need to see that True Blood though - looks awesome.
I have that same picture on my Face book, with "EPIC FAIL" across the bottom - put it as my profile pic wheneve he fucks up - which is often.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-07-20 23:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-07-20 23:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NERDY MCNERDSTER.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-07-20 21:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I only said you were Death, Forensic. Think the Seventh Seal or Hogfather; Death isn't such a bad guy.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-07-20 18:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahh, well I see you are actually truly insane.
Can I take your hat?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-07-20 18:28:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What???
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 16:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:(
have a wonderful day, psycho* lady
*yank
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 16:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Every time one of you call us Yanks, I get the urge to snap someone with a really thick rubberband.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 16:03:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
only until we lose.
I would say IF, but we are England and we never do things the easy way, plus the Aussies are fucking good normally.
sorry.......there i go again.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes. Cricket seems to be occupying the majority of your cerebral cortex.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, remember who you are talking too.
dont expect miracles.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:55:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That makes no sense
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
careful now, dont say anything you may regret.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT'S IT! NO NUDE PICTURES FOR YOU! EVAH!!!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fg, you cant call us poms!! limeys isn't it?
dumbass yank
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-07-20 13:55:34 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cheetos are called wotsits.
bloody yanks.
====
Poofter Poms. Who in the hell calls Cheetos Wotsits?!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*shakes fist*
whyyyyyyy i oughta
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121797#2882895
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:14:33 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont like doritos
in your faces
===
So, I can go ahead and add that to Smeagol's Wikipedia page then?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont like doritos
in your faces
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:11:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 11:54:23 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude! Who said I didn't like Doritos?! That was taken from a snap contest between Hartmann and Scourge.
I like the firey cheetos better though.
===
Relax, babe, my beef is with the general sense of you that potentially dislikes delicious Doritos.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 15:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
having fun everyone?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-07-20 14:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cheetos are called wotsits.
bloody yanks.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 14:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude! Who said I didn't like Doritos?! That was taken from a snap contest between Hartmann and Scourge.
I like the firey cheetos better though.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-07-20 14:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orph, just reference him licking the bottom of an empty Doritos bag
===
Seriously, if you don't like Doritos, then there's something wrong with *you*.
You think about that, general sense of you.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-07-20 14:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I do not have a single wrinkle, the botox and fillers working just find.
Trust me, for a Brit, I am HOT.
I am my ideal weight for my tiny midget height.
No, I dare say it would only take you four pints and one shot before...
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-07-20 14:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-07-20 14:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Three stone lighter and prettier than ever, I am afraid it is jerk-off
==============================
"Prettier than ever" is relative, and given you looked like an autistic garden gnome before, it wouldn't take much of anything to be "prettier".
I fear you're still another 4 stone shy of fuckable and a good boob-job and facelift distant from "hot".
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-07-20 14:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Three stone lighter and prettier than ever, I am afraid it is jerk-off
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 13:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol @ below.
also, i love the 'i still see everything' comment.
'i've washed my hands of that site! well except the obsessive every 5 minutes scan for any mention of me.'
YOU SURE GOT THE BETTER OF US IN THAT DEAL!
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-07-20 13:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and i am hot, thanks.
================
I'm afraid that is not true. :(
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-07-20 13:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
<insert derogatory comment here>
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 13:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:8/
Method emoticon. Notice the large nostrils?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
large nostrils and bad hair. don't forget the bad hair.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:35:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I blame Method and Icarus for starting the whole forensicgirl is a Nazgûl thing.
And like the large nostriled pansy that he is, Method ran away from Ubersite, giggling like a wee girl.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMFG, i was totally going to use a 'dried up' reference, but went with the shrew thing instead. we're totally synchronized.
i'm writing this down in my internets diary right now.
fucking red letter day!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't cry. All my fluids turned to dust millenia ago.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(the emoticon is so you know i'm not out to ruin your internet fantasy land and should keep you from crying all day, like the welfare tart or the wigger or the pennsylvania land-whale tend to)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's not exactly the insult du jour. making fat comments to me has been the 'go to' for a couple years. it's just especially funny when a 400+ lb'er like hartman does it. i'm pretty sure wigger told him it gets to me, but it doesn't, because it's not really true. now i could, like the wigger did, post pics to try to disprove it or something, but since it impacts me not a bit (beyond springboarding to a good shit-slinging fest, which is a + not a -) and i don't really have the desire to sink to that level of pathetic, i just have a laugh at it and sling shit back.
and orphelia, to her credit, has always tried a bit harder than that, anyway
but i'm glad you derived such pleasure out of it, you bitter old shrew.
:)
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orph, just reference him licking the bottom of an empty Doritos bag. Apparently that's the insult du jour to use on Scourge. Ask Hartmann. He started it.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-07-20 12:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see everything still, you fucking scumbag.
and i am hot, thanks.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 11:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH YES I DID, ummm, something something skeletor boney image of death etc something or other. you know what? just insert some witty nickname here. you get the general idea. i'll be back later to clean it up and put my own spin on it. i'm a big picture guy, details are for the peons of the world to tend to. i'm an idea man.
fucking awesome burn, self.
TOP GUN HIGH FIVE.
*sigh*
i sure would like a vacation this year.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 11:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH NO HE DINNT!
@ below
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-20 11:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
uber was a wose place when you left and the blue eyeshadow welfare mom stayed. i cried a few times.
it's getting better now though, as it seems she has decided to disappear as well. collective iq has since gone up by a good few dozen points.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-07-20 10:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Missing you!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 09:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-07-20 13:01:38 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
ei I know you're a dickhead but don't be a dickhead, that's like spunky saying I'm pretty sure I tipped ronaldinho's freekick over the crossbar. Stop being english. You won, cheated a bit, and that will make ponting even wilder. embrace it.
--------
ok
:(
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-07-20 08:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf shut up bitch
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-07-20 08:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ei I know you're a dickhead but don't be a dickhead, that's like spunky saying I'm pretty sure I tipped ronaldinho's freekick over the crossbar. Stop being english. You won, cheated a bit, and that will make ponting even wilder. embrace it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the umpires should of sent the decision upstairs
i dont think Strauss cheated, in the bug huzzah of it all he was convinced he had caught it.
but we won this test match fair and square
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he's also crying into his hands at this very minute
i can hope
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ei I'll be as happy a shandy when ponting is but but, butting about the second test but strauss, after an apparent gentleman's agreement to not call a grounded catch, claimed that catch because he was desperate, so desperate to win at all costs that his gentleman's agreement with dicky tasmasian went right out the window, nevermind your lot were in total control he still caved. despicable. now you have your own ponting. And now I dislike him just as much, which is really saying something.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He also looks like a typical redneck stock car driver.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
slitty eyes, bad attitude, he's short, he's australian
plus he looks a bit like george bush
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I Googled Ricky Ponting. Why exactly do you hate him (besides the smug smile)?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
to explain danger ringers comment, The Abbo's are about to lose.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'oh noes the under-arm bowling colonials will see that catch on the replay strauss you desperately win at all costs plonker'
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gordon Brown is the least photogenic person ever.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-07-20 07:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought all Scottish people loved Brown up the bum.
Figurativly speaking of course.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 06:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well we're trying to win.....with little progress
its being played in England............
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-07-20 06:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would have included it if I still lived in England. Unfortunately, I'm in Scotland now and the only whisper of it I've heard is something about England winning in Australia which lead me to the conclusion the ashes was on and, I was missing it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-07-20 06:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't the greatest analysis ive ever seen.............
you forgot the cricket you ejit