Being Porco Rosso (901 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.13 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (View user info) at 2009-08-09 10:22:37 EDT
I have a friend who recently compared me to Porco Rosso, the protagonist in the film (it's a fucking film alright?!) of the same name.
"It's little wonder your favourite movie is Porco Rosso, you're conceited, self-loathing, and so caught up in your past you can't see REAL opportunity even if it fellates you. All smug and intolerant, flying high on your own you know-what's-best-for-EVERYONE misplaced overconfidence. "
hm. That's kind of presumptuous I said to my friend we've known each other for what - two years? And all of a sudden I'm an anime Italian pig who once was a human but became a pig and then became a human again, even though he hid that from everyone who ever cared for him pig or no, and is a cartoon.
In this person's defence they're right across studio ghibli, they understand that tales from earthsea was a monumental cock up and appreciate that Laputa's Dola is beautiful on her insides where it counts.
"FUCK YOU" I said and told my friend that I would place more credence on what an OLDER friend thought, so I rang my mate Pom.
"Pom, it's me. In as least words as possible, describe how awesome I am."
"'moody cunt'. You're a moody cunt."
"okay put Lisbeth (wife) on. Hi Lisbeth it's me - d_r, how would you describe me. You know, personality wise."
"are you serious?"
"Yes. DeSCRIBE me, how you see me - don't hold back I can take it."
"well, I think you're lovely but sometimes peopll
>blinks<
"A pig? like....porco rosso?"
"who's porco rosso?"
*rolls eyes* "good one lizzo. Really though - hang on which people?"
"you tell me who's porco rosso and I'll tell you which people."
"He's a pi...nevermind. Look, just put the pom back on. Hullo - Pom? Listen, try describing me again, but in a more.....less subjective, why I'm not a cunt way."
"okay....you're resilient and determined, refuse to have a girlfriend all the while insisting that you're not gay - and yet are ridiculously organised and disciplined not like the wallabies who got spanked by the springboks omg how funny was that??
"yes yes Pom, I have to go now."
I hang up on the cunt, stared at my girlfriendless surrounds, walked into the kitchen - REEFED open the refridgerator door and grabbed a midstrength low carb beer, snapping the top off it with my stainless steel wine knife, throwing the cap haphazardly into the recycling tray. I walked away and back into the loungeroom to watch sport, adjusting the crookedly hung tea-towel that had been driving me INSANE all fucking day, no doubt hung stupidly crooked by one of my kids on the way out.
Porco Rosso my arse. The only thing Porco and I have in common is that we beat up americans, rescue schoolgirls and go out of our way to avoid relationships, just like clint eastwood.
User Reviews
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-15 00:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-14 22:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shitty link, but you should see all the fans with with signs. Whatever. Hi.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-14 22:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't take long for the Aussie to become a local hero.
http://www.talk-sports.net/pcl/fan.aspx/Trent_Oeltjen
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-08-12 14:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LoooseSprocket (user info) at 2009-08-12 12:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
now we're talking about moving arguably the best fly-half in the world into scrum half where he would be fucking wasted. we have a great combination with giteau and barnes, burgess just needs to get his fucking act together.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's typical isn't it? When gregan was around we had an abundance of scrum-halves, whitt's always warming the bench hell we even let the baboons have steve divine, and now look. Burgess is a confidence player, and right now he has none at all, like the english cricket team or english sport in general. I don't have a boater either sam just a natural aversion to league. When I was a little kid I used to sit on the couch and watch it on tv and think, "the fuck??" and then go outside and play charlie's angels with my sister and her mates. It's cool because I was always the butch one, you know sporty angel, the flat one.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i also think aus is a lot better than merely average, and certainly able to compete with the top 2, but we are playing like shite.
i thought burgess was a good move, but he's just fucking up too much. his service is even worse than late-career gregans. gregans was slow as fuck, but at least it actually hit somewhere near the target.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, i prefer union - but under the ELV's. the players are MUCH more skillful, all over the park. however, these skills are completely irrelevant outside the goalkicker now, which is what i am lamenting. we have been robbed of a great spectacle, so some lackluster sides can 'compete', by hamstringing the athletic ability of others.
however, league is not without its charm. if you could get around to pushing your pretty little boater hat up off your eyes, you might be able to see that.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*2011
fuck.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gah *the quarters - how embarrassment I'd blocked it out.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-10 22:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes yes iddqd I get that I was just saying that I still prefer rugby to league - and why, as you were doing further down the page just the other way 'round. btw apollo and 'spam' can go fuck themselves because come next years world cup we, along with the racist boers and monkeymen from new zealand will be hands down favourites to win it, we've the makings of a bloody good we're just playing poorly.
then again we could just not show up for the semi's again.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-10 21:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jamie: i havent actually claimed otherwise about our side. my comments are more directed at the dullness of this iteration of rules - you'll remember that my post about it was referring to the saffas v all blecks game. i dont mind that we lost, because we were very ordinary, i mind that the game is now just SO dull to watch, when a mere few months ago, it was vastly more dynamic (i recall seeing a comment by you a while ago about an aus vs all blecks game, under the ELV's, where you - rightly, in my opinion - said words to the effect of 'thats how rugby should be played'. i want to see players be made to run the ball more, not just ruck for as long as it takes to force a penalty because its impossible to ruck for more than say 3 or 4 minutes without breaking SOME kind of rule which somehow is meant to govern a total mess of arms and legs. thats all it is. its not fun, its not interesting or engaging, its just dull. and fuck watching 60 minutes of box kicks and stacks-ons, interspersed with 20 mintues of watching some dude line up kick after kick. oh look, wow they threw two passes - spectacular, running rugby!
D_R: yes yes yes, we all know you dont like league. im not really commenting about league vs union at all. the comments are in reference to what i said above.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-08-10 21:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REEFED open the refridgerator door and grabbed a midstrength low carb beer, snapping the top off it with my stainless steel wine knife, throwing the cap haphazardly into the recycling tray.
---
I just opened the fridge door, went to pull the stopper out of the half drank sparkling pinot noir bottle I opened the other night, and the thing went FLYING past my eye onto the floor several feet away. I could have lost an eye.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-08-10 18:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ubmitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-10 15:45:56 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
and and and if if if now now now
you even lost to the worst england side in years when it mattered.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-08-10 11:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-08-10 11:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-10 10:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and and and if if if
jesus christ, face it your rugby team is average at best.
you even lost to the worst england side in years when it mattered.
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-08-10 10:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Someone has a case of the mondays.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-10 10:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
springbok is a great word
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-08-10 10:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to hit Youtube to watch a few clips since I've have never heard of this pig. And no, it isn't because I'm being a willfully insular Yank. I don't think this cartoon was ever played here. If it hasn't been played, how would I know it existed to shrug it off as being some weird, foreign job and then go back to watch some Scooby Doo?
I think someone at the cable company has a fetish because they keep playing Vampire Hunter D. Then again, I'm suspicious of most anime for possibly pandering to pedos.
I dunno, I don't see it (the similarity).
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-08-10 09:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I suppose this would be more relevant if I knew who Porco Rossi is.
Just sounds like you're a codger to me.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-08-10 09:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-10 05:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All valid points sam, and I agree that the ref was pedantic but again we gave away penalties we shouldn't have. I prefer the game to league is all, which I find painfully dull. Straight, standing start running with little to no apparent thought or creativity, if you want ambiguous how about how much time they spend lying on each other dry humping at the end of each tackle and the subsequent 'play the ball', the former being a blatant time wasting tactic to let their out of position defence regroup and the latter just...just.....wtf is that anyway, do you roll the ball back with your foot or just step over it and is there a rule if you're getting up and a bit tired or groggy you can just roll it back with your hand because the ref will see what a tired little poppet you are and cut you some slack? Scrums? well, we've touched on those before and that gay whistle sound, god I just want to kick a puppy everytime I hear it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-10 03:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-10 02:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, we werent great, but tell me - whats supposed to be disciplined about roughly a tonne of meat smashing into another tonne of meat? union scrum penalties are almost as big of a joke as league scrums.
its a fucking coin flip, and a full-arm penalty is a ridiculous reward for something that is completely unjustifiable in 80% of cases. it would probably be better if the refs were in fact blind, because with the rules as they are, they just have to try and see something that may or may not be there, and in return we - the lucky viewers, get to watch 3 1/2 minutes of a kicker lining up yet another sure 3 points, a minimum of 7 times per match.
just a few months ago, union was dynamic and exciting and genuine edge-of-the-seat viewing. now its just waiting for the next inevitable whistle so we can watch another shot at goal.
the amount of points for a penalty/drop goal was an issue with the ELV's. point amounts are essentially meaningless now - it's still the same result. now the issue is simply the inordinate amount of shots at goal.
if i want to watch soccer, ill watch soccer - at least the shots on goal actually often require some skillful set-up beforehand, not just boringly waiting for an inevitable infringement upon an arcane and archaic set of rules that are utterly open to wide interpretation.
tl; dr: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-10 01:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm. why the fuck are pasty northern hemisphere refs officiating our games anyhow? THAT'S hardly going to help. I guess the racialist boers were by no means spectacular and it's true what everybody says they are very one dimensional but we were terribly undisciplined.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-10 00:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and north holds that catch, and it would have been done and we dont even go for another half-day.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-10 00:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just watched a bit more of it again, while at lunch. seriously, they go up 15-10, and dont look close to scoring, and when they do, its off a shitty kick, and some shittier failed clean-up. scrappy, unattractive, and rewards the most stodgy and dull tactics possible. added to the fact that the kind of person who wants to be a referee is the sort to order socks in their draw in alphabetical order of the manufacturer then colour (in instances where the manufactuers are the same), means that the pedantry of the officiating merely makes the whole experience somewhere in the same suburb as actually reading all the posts on any given front page on uber, in terms of sheer painful boredom.
this shit better get fixed and quick. even bledisloe games are looking boring, and i may not even watch.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-08-10 00:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
An innings and 80 runs lol.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-10 00:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
proving yet again that underneath those tight shorts and mustaches, australians are even gayer than you'd think.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-09 23:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh it gets better p_c. It was that particular review which made me think well I might as well give it a go, so yes, you're basically entirely responsible.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-08-09 23:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha wow I just got completely owned.
Archiving every single one of my posts has paid off, D_R.
Still, -2 for "mid-strength". Fucking Queensland.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-09 22:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as opposed to some fat cunt running straight for 10 metres, another fat cunt running straight for another 10 metres, some daft cunt throwing the ball to a possibly even dafter cunt, repeat twice more then kick and hope to corner or behind posts. cross fingers.
each to their own samuel. I see your point though and penalties in rugby certainly need to be addressed, they could start by making them 2 points and not three. Fuck we were dire though.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-09 22:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-08-09 21:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for low carb beer
---------
tsk-tsk
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93678#2166103
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-08-09 21:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for low carb beer
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-08-09 21:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think im giving up on rugby.
im not too keen on watching games being decided by the boot. south africa score an unnecessary try ont heir way to a comfortable win. the try was literally superfluous. its not fun to watch, not in the slightest. its just whistle, whistle, whistle.
league may be dumbed-down, but at least you get to actually see some exciting play, not simply box kick after box kick, ruck, scrum, penalty, goal. repeat for 80 mins.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2009-08-09 18:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Porco Rosso/Howl's Moving Castle
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-08-09 16:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That sounds like a very strange cartoon...
Submitted by OscarZAcosta (user info) at 2009-08-09 14:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Christ. I knew you were sick but I never expected to hear you actually say that kind of stuff, you filthy bastard.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2009-08-09 14:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nah, you seem more like howl from howl's moving castle...'cept more gay.
Submitted by esceptico (user info) at 2009-08-09 14:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked most of it
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-09 13:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a lot like Michael Jackson, aren't you?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-09 12:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ha, pig boy.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-08-09 12:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hang up on the cunt, stared at my girlfriendless surrounds, walked into the kitchen - REEFED open the refridgerator door and grabbed a midstrength low carb beer, snapping the top off it with my stainless steel wine knife, throwing the cap haphazardly into the recycling tray. I walked away and back into the loungeroom to watch sport, adjusting the crookedly hung tea-towel that had been driving me INSANE all fucking day, no doubt hung stupidly crooked by one of my kids on the way out.
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Are you SURE you're not gay?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-09 12:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-09 09:25:11 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stupid dancing all over the shop laptop touchpad cursor.
there's a technical cure for that, its called a 'proof read'.
i like the sound of your mate, pom. from new zealand is he?
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-09 11:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've drawn that picture.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-08-09 10:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello darling.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-09 10:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i thought she was a lesbian, not a pig.
and what kind of a name is lisbeth.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-09 10:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stupid dancing all over the shop laptop touchpad cursor. "some people think you're a PIG" said she -lisbeth. fucking hell.