My Wife (1311 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.39 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Apollo (View user info) at 2009-08-12 23:26:06 EDT
I thought about starting this by smashing my fucking head against the keyboard but I didn't. Some of you are filled with leprechauns and some of you aren't.
My wife shat out sixteen pounds of jew gold. Naturally this put her into a coma.
We tried to steal the gold but even in her coma it wouldn't leave her side, it was attached by a magical chain. We tried everything.
Eventually we had to call a family conference. We set it for APril 4th 2004. She'd been in a coma almost seven hours so we'd decided to pull the plug, then we could get the gold.
So, I don't believe in Jews but with this I don't know.
The thing was set for 3 PM, so I decided to show up at 1 PM to get it over with because there was a movie I wanted to watch on TV.
When I arrived, the nurse said there had been another change. I sat down quickly and ask her to tell me the news. She refused, and said I must go to the room and see the doctor. I stepped into my wife's room, only to find MEL FREAKING GIBSON there.
The cunt had already pulled the plug! Furious at missing her gargling last breath and getting first dibs on the gold I turned to slay him.
But the jewess was awake! OMG SHE WAS NOT DEAD.
She stood up, killed Mel Gibson with her gold then gave me an awesome blow job.
The End.
User Reviews
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-08-16 15:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-08-16 15:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-12 23:52:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My wife cuts the dingleberries off my ridiculous schipperpoo.
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I used to live next door to a Schipperke breeder. It was so funny to see a huge flock of Schipperkes dashing across the field like sheep (we lived in farm country). They are very cute!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2009-08-15 01:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-08-14 12:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are very clever.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-13 21:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-08-13 18:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-08-13 14:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I lawl'd.
_____________________
I didn't, but I smirked.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2009-08-13 15:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love stories with a happy ending.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-08-13 15:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-08-13 14:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-08-13 14:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I lawl'd.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-08-13 11:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cruisin' down the street in my six-four
It's like that and it's like this
I took her to the pad and we started to kiss
Now my dicks all hard
And you know what I'm thinkin'
Took the panites off and the pussy was stankin'
Pulled off the drawers and I started to begin
Now the pussy's wet so my dick slides in
Ooh heidi. heidi, heidi, you ho
Ridin' on the spot and pushin' kinda slow
So fe fi fo fuck fum
She's scratching on my back
Oh here she cums
Well i gotta get a nut gotta gotta get a nut gotta get it quick you know
Because I love this shit so
Gimme that that that nut
Gimme that that that nut
Gimme that that that nut
Gimme that gimme that gimme that nut!
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-08-13 11:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-08-13 09:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-08-13 09:35:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-13 01:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm on gabbly but no one seems to want to join.
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That is a whore's lie! I got on gabbly last night two minutes after you posted about it and it was an empty room.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-08-13 09:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking knew it!
Those covetous jews!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-08-13 08:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-08-13 05:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by eye_on_my_nonothing (user info) at 2009-08-13 04:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-08-13 04:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-13 04:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe she's only 10 years old, it could explain a few things
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-08-13 04:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, but you do
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-13 04:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sage doesn't even understand her period
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-13 03:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
does sage, really still not get uber?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-08-13 03:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're lying, this never happened.
Mel Gibson would never be in the same room as a jew.
As for the rest of the tale, totally believe it.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-08-13 03:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
FIIS
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-13 01:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-08-13 01:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
call this what it is, its a cunts trick and the REASON people are or pretend to be so callous on uber.
there's a long history of mentalists like you making up stories for sympathy and attention. Mostly attention.
Which is why those who write to vent, to express some personal tragedy are usually rounded upon by a small but vociferous minority.
in short, you're a dick.
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YEAH,HYMIE, yer a dick, and rob said so with a +2!!!!
heh!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-08-13 01:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
call this what it is, its a cunts trick and the REASON people are or pretend to be so callous on uber.
there's a long history of mentalists like you making up stories for sympathy and attention. Mostly attention.
Which is why those who write to vent, to express some personal tragedy are usually rounded upon by a small but vociferous minority.
in short, you're a dick.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-13 01:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm on gabbly but no one seems to want to join.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gabbly
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not surprised by Mel Gibson's actions. I think he made a movie about killing Jews once. Brave Heart, I think it was.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GOOD COMEBACK SILLY-BILLY
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha, Bubba called sage "Francis." Bubba you are a silly, silly man.
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Quote from "Stripes," you silly twat.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha, Bubba called sage "Francis." Bubba you are a silly, silly man.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, sorry, I forgot to give you your super rarified Uber elder obligatory +2. My apologies.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who wants to talk about 12 pound bags of shit on gabbly with me? I'm bored and I can't sleep.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well, i smiled.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sage -2's everyone who outwardly dislikes her, she thinks this place is facebook.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
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What's wrong, Sage, can't deal with a little parody of a serious subject? If I can laugh you should certainly be able to do so. Lighten up, Francis.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-08-13 00:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done, fat head!!
I hope your wife is doing well...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-08-12 23:52:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My wife cuts the dingleberries off my ridiculous schipperpoo.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-08-12 23:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-12 20:34:16 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, someone's been drinking i guess.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-12 23:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG LIEK ANOTHER FUCKING SHIT POST from an "elder" Go Fuck Yourself!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-12 23:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, someone's been drinking i guess.