Brick Walls, Basketballs and a Ginger Bully (924 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.32 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Haiku Mikoo (View user info) at 2009-08-25 20:42:41 EDT
When I was in elementary school, I was picked on by a ginger kid named Joey. I know now that being a ginger kid, Joey had defied all odds by being the bully and not the bullied. In that sense he was a real trailblazer. Joey had rust colored, intentionally dirty looking hair which he appeared to never wash. It was short on the sides but long on the top, which he combed to the right side of his head with a tuft of hair usually straying onto his forehead. His skin was pale and covered in freckles that seemed to smother his pores. Really, he probably would have been made fun of himself if he had not been the biggest guy in our grade.
At the time, I was physically the opposite of Joey. Our school lacked a junior high, hosting us from kindergarten until the eighth grade. Up until the eighth grade, I was always the shortest boy in the class. That would change when I grew ten inches in the eleven months leading up to my first year of high school, but in elementary school I was tiny. I wasn't just small, I also wore glasses. Big glasses with frames that crept below my nose. I cannot remember if that was simply the style at the time, or the fault of my father for helping me pick out nerdy glasses. He claims it was the former. I think he's a lying.
I guess Joey saw me as an easy target, because he seemed to screw with me the most. Our school was very small, having only about thirty to forty students in every grade. Each grade had its own recess. Consequently, all of the boys usually played the same game. These games were always violent. If they weren't that way originally, they were made to be by some cruel tweak of the rules. For some reason, any game that was manipulated in this way had the word "jungle" added before it. For example, jungle ball was a variation of basketball where you could push and tackle. The basketball goals were set in an extension of the school parking lot, and it wasn't uncommon for someone's body to set off one of the car alarms. Luckily, I was usually quick enough to avoid this, but when assholes like Joey did hit me I soared. Being a main target, this happened somewhat regularly.
Even the swings were turned into some kind of physical altercation. Again, jungle swings was a game where two kids stood on adjacent swings. You had to swing constantly, and if you weren't swinging you were disqualified. The object of the game was to keep kicking your opponent until they either fell off the swing, or couldn't stand the punishment anymore and jumped off. There were two lines formed at either swing, which was supposed to make the matchups random. However, Joey would always skip in and out of line so he could go against me. I was actually pretty decent at this game. He would always lift his body up to deliver powerful kicks to the chest that I could usually dodge. I knew I couldn't kick him off the swing, so I would just try to inflict as much pain as I could on his shins before I was inevitably flung off. He always won that game.
As far as bullying goes, it really wasn't all that bad. Joey was never able to start a real fight with me for two reasons. For one thing, while I was the smallest kid in our class, I was also the fastest. I knew Joey could kick my ass, so whenever he really started to try I just ran away. That, and the fact that school policy called for all children not in the seventh or eighth grade to be picked up at school by their parents, or otherwise stuck in after school care until their parents could pick them up, saved me from any after school beatings. Joey would still threaten me with them, anyway. One day he told me to meet him after school at Shamel Park, probably because he had seen something like it on the Wonder Years that week. I showed up because I had seen on TV that if you stand up to a bully, they will leave you alone. Luckily, Joey didn't show, because I'm pretty sure that only works if you can manage to beat the bully's ass.
This all bought me some time until seventh grade came around. I was still the shortest, but I had began to close the gap with the other guys, and more importantly, with Joey. I had also been playing basketball and baseball every year, and added tackle football to that when I was ten. These all had me in excellent shape and toughened me up a bit as well, but it wasn't until my mother married my step-father, Dene, when I really broke the trend.
Dene was a fifth degree black belt in Kung Fu San Soo, which is something like one to three belts away from being a master. He would have been a master, but he had to quit after a lingering knee injury from a motorcycle accident was too much to handle. On his suggestion, my mother enrolled me into a studio one of his good friends ran, and eventually managed to scam my real father into paying for it. That was all well and good, but the real training came from the one on one lessons given by my step-father. Dene taught me things you could actually use in a real fight. The stuff they taught us in the studio wasn't always applicable to real life situations. Too flashy. Besides, you can't tell some drunk guy you end up fighting outside of a bar, "Okay, now punch me right here." Also, flashy moves require too much thinking. In a real fight involving average people, there's no time to think. You don't think about your next move, you just react.
Dene always claimed that Kung Fu San Soo was superior to other martial arts because it eliminated the size factor in a fight. I don't think this is as true for adults, when people are more likely to know what they're doing and size discrepancies can be much larger than they can for children the same age, but against kids who really didn't know what the hell they were doing, it was true.
The first time I had to use Dene's pragmatic lessons wasn't against Joey, but it still felt good. Two cholos trying to be gangsters made a half-assed attempt to jump me just after recess ended. As I was walking to class, they came up from behind me and kicked the backs of my knees in. As I got up to face them I simultaneously swung my right arm, delivering a rising backhand to the first solar plexus that came into sight. I had hit the Filipino kid who tagged along with their group. He instantly fell to the ground, crumpled into a ball and began to cry. As he fought to get his breath back, the cholo pretenders backed off, passively holding their hands palm up in the air in submission. I found out later the Filipino kid actually had nothing to do with it, he just happened to be standing there. That made me feel guilty.
Another time, during Jungle ball, one of the kids below our grade had skipped class to play with us. His name was Jason, and he was an asshole. He tried to get in with the other assholes by singling me out. We played jungle ball on a rim that was attached to a large, brick building. If someone went for a layup, you could push them into the wall. As a result, not too many of us attempted any layups. Jason had been going after me, but I was attempting to ignore him. Eventually, I decided that a kid one grade below us wasn't going to get the best of me, and slammed him into the brick building when he tried to lay the ball in. I was rewarded with an icy stare, but he made no attempt to even things with me, yet. I was feeling confident now, and decided to attempt a layup myself. Jason saw his chance for revenge and pushed me into the building, but I was ready for it. I pushed off of the building with my right foot and landed next to him, feeling good. Someone yelled, "Fight, fight, fight!" and we instinctively raised our hands to defend ourselves. I used a move Dene had taught me before Jason had a chance to throw a punch, pushing on his left shoulder with my right hand while simultaneously pulling on the opposite shoulder with my left, forcing him to make a 180. I wrapped my right bicep around his throat, put my left hand behind his head and squeezed. If you keep someone in a sleeper hold for more than ten seconds or so, they can die. After about five seconds, they pass out. I didn't hold it long enough for any of that, but instead threw him to the concrete. He looked weak staring back at me from the gravel. He did not try to fight back, and our "fight" was over. It felt good.
Joey backed off for a while when he realized I wasn't so defenseless anymore. However, one day during a game of jungle ball, he decided to test me. After what I did to Jason, I could go for layups whenever I wanted, without fear of being slammed into the wall. Just not today. As I jumped towards the rim I felt someone give me a hard shove in the ribs. I went hurtling into the wall, luckily not hitting my head, and bounced back onto the ground. I had landed on my back, having the wind knocked out of me. Joey laughed. It angered me, but I didn't do anything about it. The game went on and I grew increasingly angry as Joey shot me smug sneers. Eventually, as I was dribbling the ball where the three point line would be if there were any markings, Joey addressed the rest of his team while leaning against the brick wall.
"Nobody guard him, little shits like him aren't strong enough to shoot a three, he's too weak to even brick it!"
Some of his subordinates laughed. Most of the other boys just shook their heads, they didn't like Joey. I picked up my dribble and stood there. Joey was grinning from ear to ear. I wanted to pound his face in until you couldn't even see the freckles anymore. I didn't. Instead, I reared back and threw the basketball as hard as I could. I felt my heart stop as the ball whizzed towards his head, thinking it might have been a bad idea to throw the ball at the largest kid in class. The ball made a loud crack as it made contact with his face, the noise was loud and seemed to echo off the wall behind him.
Joey dropped to one knee, leaning his head against the wall and clutching at his face. Warm blood rushed from his nostrils seeping through his fingers. I hoped I had broken his nose. I wondered if he would break mine. Joey shrieked into his hands.
"My nose! Shit! I think he broke my nose!"
The ball rolled back towards my feet. Even Joey's subordinates looked at him in disgust. Joey's voice had changed to a high pitched yelp, and he started to cry. I leaned down to pick up the ball while the rest of the guys looked at me in awe.
This time I really wound up. Put my whole body into it. I let the ball go and watched with great pride as it struck him again, connecting viciously with his right cheek. This time the force of the ball slammed his head into the brick wall and he fell on his side. Joey leapt to his feet and started running at me. I prepared myself for the pain, but he just ran right past me. Crying.
Joey ran to a teacher to tell on me. He had lost all respect from his peers. Even his lackey's wouldn't hang out with him anymore. And worst of all for Joey, no one was afraid of him. They made fun of his hair. They laughed at his freckles. They finally told him how hideously ugly he was.
My only punishment was that I had to walk laps around the school until recess was over. I only received a slap on the wrist because even the teachers hated Joey. They didn't say anything but you could tell they were grateful for doing what they couldn't. Everyone was.
Joey stopped picking on me, and I became one of the more popular kids in our grade for nailing him in the head with an orange sphere. Nobody tried to pick on me and suddenly I was perpetually on the good end if lunchtime food swapping. I was first in line and always picked first for our needlessly violent games. Chucking that ball at Joey's head was, at the time, the best thing that ever happened to me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-09-02 11:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe nobody's called shennies on your claim to have been a sporty type. Surely all you do is drink and surf the internet from your garage apartment? And occasionally hang out with your girlfriend and the eskimo dude?
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2009-08-28 21:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-08-27 19:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The best part of this post was the title.
I want to have sex with a ginger. Just to say I have. I'm awesome.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-27 13:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks BAMF, although I know you're being sarcastic about the first parzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(those comments were gold, by the way)
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-08-27 07:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
weird, I just can't imagine you being bullied in school....
interesting read.
Submitted by melkorthedelerious (user info) at 2009-08-27 03:52:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot to step on his throat and ask for submission; otherwise it would have been +3.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-08-26 22:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Soz dude. I am a spastic.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-08-26 22:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In my limited, egocentric experience of the World so far I have found lots of bullys are ginger.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-26 19:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm sorry, jonny. nobody told you...
bret has moved on to greener, less insanity inducing, pastures.
some days i almost miss that kid.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-08-26 19:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PAGING BRET DALLAS, MR. BRET DALLAS TO THE WHITE COURTESY PHONE PLEASE....
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-26 18:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woah there, buddy, back up the crazy train. What exactly have I done on ubersite to suggest I'm such a horrible person?
I am a fantastic person; I open doors for fat chicks, kiss black babies, donate to PBS, recycle, and most importantly, am not a fucking ginger. So, enough with the Joey accusations, dick.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-08-26 18:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dude, it's bigger than that...
This post in conjuncture with your post about your outrage over that video shows that you actually have some sense of honor and justice. I begin to think that In Real Life, you might actually be a decent person.
I guess I just wonder, if you can be affected by both those things (given their context), why do you act the way you do here?
Or maybe... YOU were Joey?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-26 18:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder what became of Clarence Medina, he was a royal fucker. Supposedly his dad used to beat the shit out of him.
Bully cliche, or vicious rumor?
Hopefully the former, I hated that guy.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-26 18:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn it kaos, stop trying to turn my Joey smiting post into an argument about internet trolls.
Besides, I nail an alleged future internet troll in the face with a basketball, and you of all people deprive me of my +2?
FOR SHAME SIR
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-08-26 18:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Okay...
You DO realize what happened to this "Joey," right? He grew up all miserable & bitter because his only sense of importance in the universe was built around bullying those weaker than him, but he was forced early on to accept the fact that he HIMSELF was a weakling. Quietly seething and growing increasingly unstable over the years, he eventually found an outlet for his infantile rage, while remaining safe - Internet Troll.
Welcome to Ubersite... 65% of the current users used to be "Joey."
I could ramble off an easy dozen names, but most of you reading this right now are thinking of the exact same users.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-26 15:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-25 17:53:02 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Schoolyard shennanies are boring, but you get a +1 for:
Besides, you can't tell some drunk guy you end up fighting outside of a bar, "Okay, now punch me right here."
Martial "arts" are such a fucking joke.
Unless you're Chuck Norris, of course.
===
What if I told you that Joey wasn't Joey at all, but was actually a Russian spy working for the KGB, and I was really Bruce Lee in disguise?
Is it boring now, motherfucker?
---
i enjoyed this exchange as much as the actual post itself.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-08-26 15:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds to me like someone has a case of pussy-itis.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-08-26 15:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 07:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ZING!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-26 07:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 01:20:08 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol emission you are a silly little man. pH has users not from Uber you know? It's a completely different entity where you can actually post fiction and poetry and get feedback
===
You can get feeback on uber, it's just typically buried under arguments about things like pulsehead. ZING!
Premium is clearly TTOM, back from the internet dead to take his revenge on the website that led to his untimely demise.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-26 07:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-08-25 22:43:48 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent story sir. posts like these are what make ubersite worth visiting.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:59:12 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the last seven years I have seen very little writing that can match this. Well done, dude, and that's a fact. Send this to your mother and she will love you more. Taken in light of recent posts, it sends the message that says, yo, mama, I love you, so don't kick my ass in those far
places. Live it to the end, babe, and don't take no for an answer.
===
Not sure who you folks are, but thanks.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 05:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dont you talk about my boyfriend like that O
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-26 05:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO SHIT SHERLOCK. GODDAMN, YOU WENT TO OXFORD, DIDNTCHYA?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 05:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i claim the eyeshadow but hurty and ei bought the homosexuality
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2009-08-26 05:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
make me..... bla bla bla
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-26 05:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for all the British homosexuality and eye shadow below.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 05:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oi carrot top, watch your mouth!
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2009-08-26 05:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bla bla bla below
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:58:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well hurty, you are a wanker, a compulsive one at that. ahhh this feels good (not you wanking) y'know the 3 of us, here, ahhh mammaries, i mean memories.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know, i think it's something to do with mystia i think when she went cuckoo oon me i caught some crazy
either that or it's just how i am when i am not pregnant
who knew?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh and hurty, why dont scotland Paul 'The Beard' Hartley.......surely he's better than the other stiffs you have in midfield
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 09:55:33 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol ooh hurty you are so big and clever and mean how can i be more like you
you rule the internet!!
all i am saying is the two sites have as much to do with each other as chalk and cheese
it's like insulting FB just because loadds of uber users use that too
lol hurty you really are a wanker
=================
What. The. Fuck?
When did you become such a fucking goon?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey don't knock it, it's killing time and raging on here saves my kids from their daily beating
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol ooh hurty you are so big and clever and mean how can i be more like you
you rule the internet!!
all i am saying is the two sites have as much to do with each other as chalk and cheese
it's like insulting FB just because loadds of uber users use that too
lol hurty you really are a wanker
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how sad, we are defending websites, my life is finally over.
pH sucks ass nananananana
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
STFU Afriel.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and being nice to people is gay and bad? in that case you'll love it when i tell you to shut the fuck up you silly little twerp! lol
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, and everyones nice to each other on pH, whats that all about.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how does pH takes itself seriously? there are plenty of silly posts? do you mean because the lack of trolls and alters and all that gayness? yeah that means it's highbrow.
lol
if anyone finds it hard to navigate they are retarded.
lol i don't know why i am saying all this I have never been to the site myself lol
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it, so there!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The difference between the two is that pH takes itself waaaaay too seriously.
And you're right - the sites aren't comparable - this one is well laid out, easy to navigate and actually entertaining.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-08-26 09:41:14 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
pH is full of retarded faggots. True story.
-----------------
ahhh so thats where drogo has gone
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol and uber isn't?
i never said you couldn't get feedback on here, the two sites are totally different and incomparable.
yeah, well, i have been meaning to get that off my chest
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pH is full of retarded faggots. True story.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 09:20:08 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol emission you are a silly little man. pH has users not from Uber you know? It's a completely different entity where you can actually post fiction and poetry and get feedback. Unless you have an account you don't know anything. Jesus you are pathetic.
-----------
oh c'mon this isn't a personal attack on you or your friends, dont over react. I am fully aware that Ph has users from wherever and whenever. I mentioned previously that PH is a good place to get feedback etc etc. It's just when people complain that thedont get that on uber, well no....not necessarily thats uber, its a different kettle of fish.
and calling me pathtic? nice touch.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol emission you are a silly little man. pH has users not from Uber you know? It's a completely different entity where you can actually post fiction and poetry and get feedback. Unless you have an account you don't know anything. Jesus you are pathetic.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-26 04:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just think if you didn't take ubersite so seriously you could enjoy it a little bit more
----------------
Precisely, that goes for a lot of people. But instead, they go to ubers equivalent of alcoholic's anonymous, pulse head.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-08-26 03:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because the title is very much how i title my shit.
also didn't read it
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2009-08-26 02:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-08-26 01:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent story sir. posts like these are what make ubersite worth visiting.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-08-26 00:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the last seven years I have seen very little writing that can match this. Well done, dude, and that's a fact. Send this to your mother and she will love you more. Taken in light of recent posts, it sends the message that says, yo, mama, I love you, so don't kick my ass in those far
places. Live it to the end, babe, and don't take no for an answer.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-08-25 23:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for telling welfare king to stop being such a bitch
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-08-25 23:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kind of boring, but as far as i know you aren't worthless
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-08-25 22:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God hates gingers.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.justin.tv/thesynth
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's my response, damn it. I'm bored and once the woman gets back with the sake, I'll be too busy getting drunk and watching horrible movies for internet discourse.
The suspense is killing me.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really don't know what you're talking about, kaos. What don't I see? Something about the post or something about the review I left on yours?
I'm not trying to start an argument with you, dude, I just think if you didn't take ubersite so seriously you could enjoy it a little bit more. Trolls aren't killing the site, if you look at old posts they've always been here and used to be a lot more vicious. I don't know why there's less traffic now, and I don't care. Maybe I would if I was around for this supposed golden age of ubersite, but I don't think it ever happened.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
**blink-blink**
Okay, uh... so this was well written and had a good message and all that nonsense, but...
... you seriously DON'T see it, do you???
Like, after reading this post ---> http://www.ubersite.com/m/123115 I suspected you might actually have a soul.
Now? Like, I KNOW you're not an idiot, but... I'm just gonna walk away now.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-25 17:53:02 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Schoolyard shennanies are boring, but you get a +1 for:
Besides, you can't tell some drunk guy you end up fighting outside of a bar, "Okay, now punch me right here."
Martial "arts" are such a fucking joke.
Unless you're Chuck Norris, of course.
===
What if I told you that Joey wasn't Joey at all, but was actually a Russian spy working for the KGB, and I was really Bruce Lee in disguise?
Is it boring now, motherfucker?
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Real Rating
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-25 21:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice!
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-08-25 20:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-25 20:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Schoolyard shennanies are boring, but you get a +1 for:
Besides, you can't tell some drunk guy you end up fighting outside of a bar, "Okay, now punch me right here."
Martial "arts" are such a fucking joke.
Unless you're Chuck Norris, of course.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-25 20:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just kidding lemme read it!
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-25 20:50:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck that bullshit. I'm not reading all of that!