Cheese Games (800 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.8 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kaos-King (antius777) (View user info) at 2009-09-06 10:55:29 EDT
For a Flash Fiction Contest elsewhere, that was between 100 & 550 words. Ghola demanded we use this title.
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Reaching the door of her apartment, Monica struggled with the keys while still trying to balance the heavy black garbage bag. Giving up, she placed her burden on the floor, leaning it against her shins and got the lock open. Hauling the item inside, she flipped on the living room light and was greeted by the sight of a pristine red stop sign sitting on her couch.
"Damn," Monica swore softly as she kicked the door closed behind her and fumbled over to the couch.
There she pulled the hastily taped garbage bag apart to reveal her own stop sign, one not so clean as its neighbor as she sat her acquisition inches away on the tan cushions. Stepping back to examine the pair, Monica almost tripped over the tangle of jump ropes lying on the floor. She brushed her long midnight black hair back out of her face, retrieved a band from her slender wrists and tied it back in a ponytail. She had naturally dark brown hair, but after the situation outside Reverend Meeks house, she had trimmed off a few inches and gone darker. Nothing drastic, just enough.
"I win again," came a voice from the kitchen. "And mine is way better."
"Where the hell did you find a stop sign that freakin' clean?" asked Monica strolling into the kitchen to scour about aimlessly for a clean glass.
"Doesn't matter. Bitch was heavy, too."
Monica filled the questionably smudged glass with water from the tap and then sat down at her small kitchen table to face the plate of cheese. It was a pale yellow hunk, sitting on a chipped saucer. Quite an unremarkable sight, really. The day she forgot to put it back in the refrigerator and it had subsequently yelled at her two hours later when she changed the channel during a rerun of CSI had been somewhat out of the ordinary, however. Monica had long stopped trying to figure out how it was that the cheese was talking, or how it was able to perform the feats that it did. She just knew that things were a damn bit more entertaining with the cheese around.
"I have some ideas about our next round," offered Monica as she sipped on her water.
"Uh-huh, I bet you do," replied the cheese. "You're still gloating over the last round, your last idea."
"Hey, I can't help it that I won spectacularly!"
Monica was sure the cheese was frowning.
"Those photos you took of the Reverend were, like, nine levels beyond scandalous. Teenage vandalism? Lame by comparison. I think you set me up on that one," said the cheese.
"Don't be a sore loser," admonished Monica.
"Anyhow," continued the cheese, "I have the next one already planned out. Besides, I have to make up for this stupid stop sign round. Too easy."
"So?"
"I've already snagged the gasoline containers and the other supplies. Two small duffle bags ready to go."
"Um, are we talking arson here?" asked Monica hesitantly.
"Maybe..." replied the cheese, drawing out the word.
Monica leaned back in her chair and considered it. This was definitely raising the stakes. And yet, she could immediately think of one particular location that could be improved with some flames.
Monica smiled at the cheese. "When's the deadline?"
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549 WORDS
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-09 16:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot i made this title
kudos to me, no offence, it's the best bit :)
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-09-09 16:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One doesn't scour aimlessly FOR something, you know.
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-09-09 04:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-09-08 15:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-09-08 06:50:49 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There once was a man from Nantucket
whose dick was so big he could suck it.
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
"Kaos-King is on welfare....what a piece of shit"
-------
I didn't care for the story, but this comment is halarious
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-08 10:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
urgh... didn't like this at all.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-09-08 09:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There once was a man from Nantucket
whose dick was so big he could suck it.
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
"Kaos-King is on welfare....what a piece of shit"
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-09-08 00:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There was an ORGY on PH?? I demand to know where I was that day.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-09-07 22:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-07 22:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 8bithero (user info) at 2009-09-07 18:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stay at Pulsehead where the 4 or 5 users suck each other dry in an orgy of narcissism and idiocy.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-09-07 10:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-07 07:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-09-07 06:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
She brushed her long midnight black hair back out of her face,
ahahahaha
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-09-07 04:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-09-06 17:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orph, I'll try to be around at some point. I have some things to take care of, though. I'll make the effort JUST so I can talk boobies with you.
Owls rock.
Will....you are not helping!
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-09-06 17:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
honestly man.....you're going nowhere with this whole writing thing. get a job, you lazy retard. and stop blaming "the republicans" for your problems.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-09-06 16:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is actually pretty bad.
It failed at being funny, and had nothing else going for it.
Not to mention your particularly poor vocabulary, which, honestly is nothing short of atrocious.
See I actually gave you the benefit of a doubt; I figured that the 12 +2s meant you might have written something half-way decent.
You didn't
I was confused
Until I realized that it was just a pedophile and jade goody patting you on the back
Rest assured I won't make the mistake of reading your shit again
I'll probably still rate it, gotta keep the front page honest, you know?
Nah, you don't
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-06 16:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ashy are you around tomorrow??
Everyone American is gonna be gone - one in particular!!
Oooh we can talk boobies :)
I am ok Ashy, I bough a dress with owls on it - OWLS!!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-06 16:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This kicked cheesy ass.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-06 16:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm losin' my mind (losin' my mind)
And it's all because of you
I can't bear the thought of losing you
I'm losin' my mind (losin' my mind)
And it's all because of you
I can't stand the thought of losing you
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-09-06 16:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aaahahahahawww shit
thanks, man, it's stuck in my mind
nibbling on my brain
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-06 15:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe in miracles
Where're you from,
you sexy thing, you
sexy thang you
I believe in miracles
since u came along,
you sexy thing
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-09-06 15:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hiya Orph, you sexy thing, you!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's still a double posting whore :P
I'm ok thanks Bub, how are you sweetpea?
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:45:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are such a whore, antius.
Hello ashy!!
***
whores make money, sluts just get fucked. how's orphelia these days?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are such a whore, antius.
Hello ashy!!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
at least there was no cutting the cheese.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-09-06 12:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Talking cheese is new.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-06 11:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Deadline is at 1400 tomorrow, bring marshmallows.