ADD: The Sower of Doubt (302 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by X54 (View user info) at 2009-09-14 14:52:27 EDT
A short, stocky girl with blonde hair approached me as I exited the supermarket the other day. Her broad face, prominent forehead and pug nose should have tipped me off right away, but she carried a clipboard, and I assumed she was just another college kid getting paid by some special interest group to collect signatures for another ballot measure. Gay Marriage or Save the Delta Smelt or something.
Normally I'd have passed by with an airy, "No thanks!" But Blondie blocked my way. She even grabbed my shopping cart! Stubby fingers and chewed nails. She started stammering. I checked her tits, to ascertain how much credibility she warranted. Her T-shirt bore three crosses against a bright yellow background. Some sort of quote with those telltale numbers and a colon. I realized I was dealing with a religious nut.
She spoke in a maddeningly slow monotone, one word at a time, like a foreigner trying to speak English while still thinking in their own tongue. I noticed another, older woman sitting behind a folding table talking to a passerby. A hand-drawn poster advertised some church and their drive to raise funds for a community center for the disabled. That's when I finally put two and two together: Blondie was a downsie.
She finally finished talking, or maybe it was just an extra-long delay between words. I interjected, "Look, I'm an atheist. I'm not giving any money or signing any petitions for any church. There's too much religion in this country already." Which was admittedly more information than she probably needed, but I'm strongly convicted in such matters and once I get going it's hard to stop.
"What's an a-the-ist?" said Blondie, one slow word after another.
Then it hit me: this was a teaching moment! I could explain atheism, maybe plant a seed of doubt in that dim brain of hers. Winning hearts and minds one retard at a time. "Someone who doesn't believe in God," I said.
"You don't believe in God?"
"No. Where's the evidence?" I began the oft-repeated argument, honed over the years.
Her expression hardened into the all too familiar expression of disdain. She interrupted with a surprisingly fluid sentence, as if she'd practiced saying it: "You're going to hell!"
"No, I'm not. There is no hell."
"You're going to hell!"
"Well," I said, changing tacks. "How do you know you're not going to hell? What if the God you believe in turns out to be the wrong one?"
"God loves me," she said. "You're going to hell."
It's impossible to talk sense to the religious. What's the point of even trying? You might as well just get your digs in and be happy. "God doesn't love you," I said. "He hates you. That's why He made you a retard."
That shut her up. I pushed my cart across the parking lot, my back burning from twin laser beams of reproach. An ambassador of skepticism. The sower of doubt.
User Reviews
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-09-16 21:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and you'll get extra plus two's beacuse I forgot to rate on the first one!
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-09-16 21:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-09-16 21:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
493!!!
Very nice. You will be moving on to the next "round".
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-16 09:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-14 20:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-09-14 18:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-09-14 18:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-14 16:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh if only you knew
if you had given me a 2
i would have you!!
:P
Submitted by Soyware (user info) at 2009-09-14 16:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would have given it a 2, but... well actually, it's awesome!
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-09-14 12:43:48 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's why He made you a retard."
-----
AHA! The capital H gives you away, you theist, you!!!!
-------------
No! No! I was just following the Chicago Manual of Style.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's why He made you a retard."
-----
AHA! The capital H gives you away, you theist, you!!!!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:35:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
needs to be more to this.
i'm a fan of short things, flash fiction, but this left me thinking "so what?" and "I've heard this sort of story a ton of times before."
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment