Rank and Vile (warning - very long) (1637 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.88 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <moronicnovel.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-02 08:15:00 EST
BY THE SEA
"2.a) Perform a pleasurable activity privately. Feel, and analyse, your feelings without reference to the increase in your Rankings that public evidence of your pleasure would have yielded in normal circumstances. The purpose, curious as it may seem, is to disassociate the feeling of pleasure from its societal role of conferring status.
NB: Exercise 2.a) must not include 'shameful' pleasures, such as masturbation with low-grade pornography or gluttony with low-grade food, which would in any case be carried out in private, through fear of reduced rankings (see also Chapter 8, Public Humiliation)."
From the 'Good Book' by Professor Joseph Liu
I close my well-worn copy of Joseph's text and listen to the silence outside. It's funny to be here, away from all that has happened and is still happening. I feel relaxed, lying in my soft warm bed. Everything is still.
The first bird of the day breaks the hush with a colourful burst of song. I have never heard this before - the first breaking of the dawn quiet. How can one little bird be so bold?
If I was still part of the world I could no doubt gain some prestige by describing my sensitive reaction to this little birdie. But despite all my relapses, I do now understand that I am not living in a totalitarian state, that I do still have some vestiges of free will, that there are in fact no laws saying I must constantly compete with everyone I have contact with, no laws saying I must constantly and fearfully consult my Rankings, no laws saying that my every action and gesture is a rankable performance, and certainly no laws saying I must have fucking telescreens throughout my house.
I also understand that happiness, relaxation, amusement, pleasure, affection and even love exist. These feelings are not extinct. As Professor Liu said, the words may now be empty cliche, but the feelings are still real. They exist and are tangible. And this is what I aim to prove to you.
Of course the motivational doubts over 'artistic' efforts such as this (I am after all writing this down in the hope that it will be successful) linger.
A less worrying form of sullied motivation is the prospect of all the beautiful rich women and their clean, healthy, fresh pink cunts that successful writers have access to. I want these women and their cunts and their money for my own pleasure, you see, not for my image, and so I don't see this desire as particularly harmful.
Although my wife Rachel might disagree. She is sleeping beside me, her strange face lovely and at peace in the morning light.
Chapter 1
Joseph finished his lunch and rose from the table.
A small, intense man, Professor Joseph Liu enjoyed power if not popularity at the University. His stride was as usual efficient and unadorned as he made his way across the quadrangle. He passed one or two of his students without acknowledgement, and they certainly did not think of greeting him.
Although Joseph returned directly to his office and set to work on routine duties, he actually had a strong desire to go home and lie on the grass in his garden. The sky today was so beautiful, the spring air so sweet, it was a perfect day to continue his project. It was becoming an obsession, but he resisted the pull. Joseph realised that to maintain the trust of his elite students he would need all of his credibility as a normal, high-ranking scholar.
They had already shown many signs of distrust and anxiety, most evident yesterday morning when they had arrived for their secret tutorial to find him waiting in slacks laden with lumpy, stinking shit.
*
As Joseph worked solidly and quickly through his many responsibilities, two of his special students sat at the University bar. The shit episode had made a deep impression on them both and still occupied their thoughts, but of course it was not something they could discuss in public.
On entering the tutorial they had first noticed the smell, and assumed their Professor had released a particularly ripe fart. It was not uncommon for those in positions of higher rank to demonstrate their superiority by openly farting in the presence of inferiors, but it did strike them as odd that Professor Liu should do so. He normally preferred the more subtle methods.
When the Professor made clear what he had actually done, by standing up to reveal the oozing lumps in his slacks, which he also squeezed with his long and sensitive fingers, Louis and Rachel experienced a similar initial reaction: nausea. This was followed by mental agitation and dizziness. What had they done? They of course already knew that the Professor's theories were dangerous and original. The whole concept of meeting in a room without a Telescreen was in itself extraordinary. But this latest antic seemed to be that of a lunatic or half-wit, not a genius. Had they been duped?
Rachel had agreed to meet with Louis in her dormitory room to discuss this burning question in private, but for the time being they behaved as normal university students should when drinking at the bar.
The sun shone pleasantly on a mild spring day. The air was rich with flowers and growing things, and Rachel and Louis felt relatively relaxed at their table in the dappled shade of the terrace. Louis drank schooners of dark beer, Rachel orange juice.
Their presence together was actually slightly risky, in terms of Rankings, as they belonged to different Campus Social Sub-Categories. Rachel strived for success in the role of "Conventional High Achiever Version 2c", while Louis climbed the "Intellectual Rebel Version 5a" ladder. Hence Louis' beard, ungroomed hair, and grubby clothes; and hence Rachel's neat summer dress with cashmere cardigan, fresh perfume, and smooth shaven legs.
Fraternising with members of incongruous sub-categories always carried the danger of penalised Rankings. However, much like another potentially dangerous activity already mentioned - farting - it could be carried off to one's own advantage if one had enough confidence and status. Lower ranking members of a social sub-category could of course never hope to step unpenalised outside the established norms and criteria of their group, but those higher up could actually increase their rankings by demonstrating that they were above certain conventional behavioural standards.
According to several of the major Ranking services, Rachel led her social sub-category in the State, and was very well placed Nationally. Louis was recognised as a rising star who should also reach the top before too long.
Their conversation was witty and smooth, their postures relaxed and sexy. They made clever play of their differences, and this jousting only served to demonstrate what fine opponents they made. How daring and risqué for Rachel to flirt with a grubby rebel; how coolly arrogant of Louis to smile and laugh with the pampered queen of an 'enemy' camp. It was, they both realised, classic stuff.
So as the cameras and sensors relayed electronic codes of their behaviour back to the relevant databases and evaluation programs, their Rankings in many areas actually edged further upward.
Just as Rachel was performing an excellent "Mock Archly Raised Eyebrow (Version C)" and Louis was about to respond with his favourite "Cheeky Grin (Version H)", a fly in the ointment appeared in the form of Ricardo, as he chose to call himself, one of Louis' oldest friends and rivals. He arrived with an entourage, and they sat without being invited.
Competing in the same CSSc as Louis, Ricardo had established a slight lead. Despite this, Louis saw himself as the better man, and regarded Ricardo's lead as one of the quirks of the complex and often unreliable Ranking systems.
Ricardo's lead over Louis did nevertheless give him an advantage, and Louis had to struggle to conceal a twinge of fear at his arrival. The smallest tremor in his hand, or knitting of his brow, or nervous dart of his eyes, would be picked up and his Rankings would immediately start to fall. But Louis had all his life been successful at concealing fear, unhappiness and frustration.
"Ricardo, what a lovely surprise. Why don't you and your friends sit down?" was his dry opening remark, smoothly delivered with the faintest tinge of bored dislike.
Ricardo ignored this and noisily surrounded himself with a copy of the rebellious student newspaper they both often contributed to. His cronies, two pretty girls and a scruffy youth, started talking idly about an upcoming Party meeting.
Rachel decided to exit the scene - sitting with these grubby creatures would not help her at all. She made a point, though, of telling Louis she looked forward to seeing him later that evening. This was something of a bold move. It would give Louis' rankings a boost, and also gave him the capacity to reduce hers through a subsequent public rejection. But she believed Louis appreciated the mutual benefits that their partnership could bring.
Her remark naturally irked Ricardo. He remained shrouded by his paper, careful that his eyes continued to move as if he were engrossed in his reading. A couple of the girls flirtatiously teased Louis about his 'date' with 'posh' Rachel. Louis felt confident and in command. He sauntered to the bar to shout a round of drinks.
On his return Ricardo was in full flight, denigrating the vice-chancellor's choice of a mural commissioned for the ceiling of the new aquatic centre. Ricardo was majoring in aesthetics and fine art.
"Anyway, it's hardly the Sistine Chapel" Ricardo snortingly concluded.
Louis placed the drinks on the table and opened his mouth to speak. This was an excellent opportunity, and he was surprised and delighted Ricardo had been so careless.
He knew Ricardo had never been to Italy, let alone visited the Sistine Chapel. Having only recently returned from a holiday in Rome, Louis was ideally placed to ask something along the lines of "Didn't you find that the crowds of tourists made it rather hard to appreciate Michel Angelo's work?", knowing full well that Ricardo would be forced to admit he had never been anywhere near Italy, let alone inside the Sistine Chapel. Louis could then take the floor and fascinate the young ladies with anecdotes of his holiday in Europe. It might even be enough to edge him ahead of Ricardo in overall Rankings.
But Louis suddenly thought of Professor Liu's training program. Perhaps the professor really was a genius. He closed his mouth and sat down in silence. He listened grimly to the stupid but attractive girls titter in appreciation of Ricardo's diatribe, and watched Ricardo settle comfortably back behind his newspaper, his stubby fingers clasping the beer Louis had shouted.
Louis stayed for another half hour. Rather like a golfer who has missed an easy putt (even though, in his case, he had done so deliberately), he couldn't stop thinking about the lost opportunity, and his whole game suffered as a consequence. His timing was off. His jokes fell flat and his clever comments came out sounding stilted and stupid. The girls made their preference for Ricardo all too obvious.
*
Home at last, Professor Liu entered the toilet and made himself comfortable. The toilet, which naturally contained no Telescreen, was the scene of the composition of much of Joseph's secret treatise (to become known later as 'The Good Book') on The Evolution of Emotions and the New Role of Love in Sexual Competition.
Joseph had actually experimented with turning off the telescreen in his study and working at his comfortable desk. It had taken him weeks to summon the nerve to turn the big machine off, and the seconds immediately afterwards had seemed to last a bowel churning eternity. Eventually, to his amused relief, the feeling that developed was one of anti-climax. Nothing happened. He was in the habit now of turning the machine off for 15 minutes a day and sitting quietly alone in his lounge, as part of his training.
For composition purposes, though, the toilet, with its lifelong association of privacy and shame, provided the ideal ambience.
Joseph's work essentially comprised two parts.
In the first he developed his theory that human emotions were, like the earth's species, subject to the forces of evolution. Over time, he proposed, some emotions gained strength and thrived, while others faded and became extinct. Fear, anxiety and depression, for example, were currently in the ascendancy. Peacefulness, calm and cheerfulness, on the other hand, were in decline. As with the organic world, the role of environment was crucial. Just as a certain species might require certain external conditions to survive or thrive, such as a certain temperature or level of forestation, so did emotions.
This process was not immediately obvious, Joseph reasoned, because the words used to indicate emotions remained basically constant. Joseph's distant ancestors also used the word 'peaceful', for example, but Joseph had come to believe that what they had described was quite different to what was described when the word was used today. His research suggested that long ago when people used the word 'peaceful' to describe an emotional state, they had a specific feeling with its own distinct characteristics clearly in mind. The word was still used today, but Joseph believed that it now only conjured a rather abstract and confused notion. In contrast, when modern people used or heard the word 'anxiety' it referred to a very concrete and easily understood emotional condition. An analogy might be that the modern person would be able to use the words "riding in a horse and buggy" and have some vague ideas or concepts as to what riding in a horse and buggy meant, but when they used the words "driving a car" a very clear and real and familiar experience was evoked. It followed that this was because horses and buggies were virtually extinct, whereas cars were ubiquitous.
When Professor Joseph's contemporaries spoke of a "peaceful night at home" it in fact generally referred to watching competitions and soap operas on the telescreen, with continual attention paid to how their behaviour (which was of course also being constantly monitored by the telescreen) was affecting their rankings. The word "peaceful" was essentially superfluous and meaningless. According to Joseph's reading of old texts, the same "peaceful night at home" might once have referred to a mental condition involving a pleasurable and deep calm, silence, a gentle feeling of timelessness, and a complete absence of worry or striving. Joseph was confident this was so, because he himself had recently also been able to experience such an emotion. Hence his desire to lie on the soft grass and gaze at passing clouds.
Another factor masking the actual existence or non-existence of emotions was that certain emotions, for the mainstream of society, were considered desirable and produced high rankings, while others were seen as a sign of failure. Thus it was necessary for people to perform in a manner they thought accorded with the desirable emotions. Ironically, the (in reality) more prevalent emotions such as fear, anxiety and depression were seen as signs of failure, while the (in reality) almost extinct emotions such as peacefulness, calm, and cheerfulness were usually regarded as markers of success. So there was plenty of calm and cheerfulness on display, but only, in a sense, in the form of imitation.
{{{{notes: conditioning ****emotions not directly experienced, but rather manufactured due to competitive concerns- feelings of fear or sneering victory more common give examples
so when people go to tropical resort see white sand palm trees attractive natives they recognise these things primalrily as high ranking and fashionable forms of pleasure, not as pleasing colors, shapes, sensations. The pleasure they get is primarily from the thought of the status their experience will give them, not the experience itself. If, therefore, it becamet he case that visiting tropical islands went out of fashion and in fact lead to a decrease in rankings, people's reaction to the same objects would be totally different. See also bertand russle cokunquest of happiness}}}}}}
"If we were dogs" Joseph had told his secret pupils, "we would force ourselves to wag our tails when we were sad and frightened".
The first half of "The Good Book" continues in much the same vein, conjecturing on different aspects of the 'evolution of emotions'.
The second part of Joseph's treatise is a training manual prescribing exercises and activities that would lead to enhanced sexual performance through the use of the now virtually extinct emotion 'love'. This was a very involved process, as it required a complete psychological restructuring away from competitive behaviour.
The most basic principle here was that the direct experience of an emotion, without the interference of competitive concerns, enhanced sexual performance. In fact, it was already well known amongst coaches and competitors that a sexual athlete with a real hatred of his rivals could generate more sexual energy than the athlete who manufactured hatred with one anxious eye on the scoreboard. But no one had tried, as Joseph now tried, to establish that the sexual athlete's capacity for real emotion was hindered by the whole structure of society, and that deliberate training to remove the effect of social conditioning could therefore increase performance.
And certainly no one had ever thought of 'love' as a possible tool for enhanced sexual performance. The word 'love' was often bandied around in many other social contexts, but its vagaries had no place amongst the harsh realities of professional sexual competition, where competitive hatred ruled.
So Dr Liu's book was certainly revolutionary.
[[[[[[[[[[Any parrallells here between rediscovery of love emotion and awakeing of kundalini in indian yoga theory? See: "Kundalini Tantra" by Swami Sayyandanda Saraswati, 1985, published by Satyananda Ashram.
Author explains at some point: " I had thkought this story was heading in following somewhat predictable direction:
Blah blah blah.....
But 'kundalini' factor seems to have meant genii out of bottle, pandoras box, asleep beneath wishing tree, visions, magic, muses, gods godessess devils imps, animals etc become involved"
Re india - also mention somewwhre the opinion of Henry the reiki teacher that current (2002) IMF plans to privatise water supply in India will lead to extermination of millions of peasants. Note that he thought these plans were deliberate and coldly calculating, not the result of error.
Re- intervention of ghosties, animals, spirits, friends etc - could such intervention explain why shakespeare's work seems so diverse and seems to be the work of a group of people? Ie, his stuff was sourced and inspired and guided from all kinds of different entiities, even if it was actually only one man's hand that wrote the words? Am I in fact shakeseapre? OR, did was shakespeare just a brand name for a few people, after all?
Re. other worldly stuff, also mention conspiracy exlusivity angle - ie bob dylans advice "not to let the boys in", male/female secret societies, tv show called "League of Gentlemen," episode three or possbily four also refers.
Also Noah's Arc bible story (with digression re. the Frog's Taiwanese girlfriend Noah- a 29 yr old taiwanese woman employed by TECO as an eckonomics analyst, and possibly also to natasha and her secretive, conspiratorial remark about noah's arc made by the merry go round in Civic, Canberrra) introduce Frog character (young french man, live-in boyfriend of Noah, sadistic pervert with heart of gold?)
Note - if yiou are wondering abuty these shaded boxes, go to EXPLANATION OF SHADED BOXES ON PAGE___ BELOW OR ABOVE SOMEWHERE]]]]]]]]]
Chapter 2
Rachel turned off her sleek, luxury Telescreen in her comfortable dormitory room in anticipation of Louis' arrival. Disconnecting the machine's power supply (telescreen manufactures saw no need to include an on/off button) still made her hand tremble and her bowels churn, but as before she fortified herself with vivid memories of the extraordinary secret demonstration Professor Liu had arranged six weeks previously.
As Dean of the Sexual Athletics Faculty, the Professor naturally had access to the University's indoor Sexual Arena when competitions were not being held, and it had been simple enough for him to disconnect the built-in telescreens. He had led his 12 {disciples?} hand-picked students into the empty arena and locked the entrance behind them.
INTERMISSION
I know there are those who oppose the author stepping from behind the curtain and marching out onto the stage himself. To some it is apparently some sort of faux pas, a pretentious error of literary taste, or simply unfashionable, or something.
Nevertheless, hear I am, Shandythedog, standing before you.
And something is wrong. My penis is not becoming erect when I interact with the checkout-chicks in the supermarket. I do not look easily into their eyes, or derive actual real pleasure from smelling them and looking at at their hair, lips, necks, exposed flesh, outlines of breasts, thighs, bottoms, etc. They do not give me subtle signals that my appreciation is welcome; there is no subtle flaunting of themeselves. Oh yes, of course I still look at them, but it is in a leering, furtive manner. There is something nasty and fearful about it, and if they catch my eye I look away reflexiviely. I certainly don't feel a lovely urge to impregnate them. AND AS I SAID, MY PENIS DOES NOT SWELL WITH LOVELY HOT BLOOD. I am unable to smile happily at them or at anyone or anything, even at dogs or trees or fluffy white clouds or pretty little puddles. I no longer receive shamanistic messages from magpies and crows. What's more, I haven't had sex with my wife in three weeks. HOW CAN I FEEL CONFIDENT ENOUGH AND INSPRIED ENOUGH TO KEEP WRITING THIS MASTERPIECE IN SUCH A FLACID AND REPRESSED CONDITION???? PARTICULARLY A MASTERPIECE ABOUT PLEASURE??? Where is the inner flame that warms me and shows me that what I am saying is true?? Where is my lucky charm?
While this condition remains I will need to go and wallow somewhere. Wallow in greasy food, wallow in masturbation with internet pornography, and wallow on the couch for hour after hour after hour of televised sport.
{{{this, apart from the 'Intermission', was the beginning of what has supposed to be a narrative novel. I have another ten or twenty pages of the same main narrative story, if anyone is interested. I got stuck and couldn't keep writing it after that. I became worried it was boring, and ended up mixing it up with other stuff to make a weird and drugged indulgent kind of 'book' full of 'intermissions'.
If anyone felt inclined to continue the narrative story, though, I wouild welcome the possiblity of collaboration.}}}}
User Reviews
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-09 08:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-02-08 14:53:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-15 22:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Out-fucking-standing!
Many thanks to apollo88 for sending me this way...
Absolutely fucking brilliant. Bravo Mr. Dog. You are truly gifted. I look forward to reading much more of your work.
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-03-02 22:30:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of 1984 for some reason, must be the telescreen reference. Very good...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-02 22:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-12-25 17:58:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Without doubt one of the most intriguing introductions I've read on Uber. Or ever for that matter.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-08-23 16:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
also, on behalf of myself and my apprentice, thanks for the nice thought wiggles
you were right in what you said earlier though - ubersite is not really the right place for longer pieces of work. i'm guilty of not reading longer things myself.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-08-23 16:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fear not wiggles, i will instruct my assistant to forgive you
like tommy stubbins with the good Doctor, Apollo is a bit willful now and then but generally very obedient.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My most sincere apologies. It should of course be Shandy and Apollo's Rank and Vile series. I was rather sick yesterday and took a fair amount of Nyquil which left me very sleepy. But it was 6:00, and I had something to do at 8:00, so I was trying to stay awake and busy. I ended up reading through the Rank and Vile entries once more, and the with the combination of sleepiness and and being so impressed by the work, I submitted the uberboard message because I felt the series was underappreciated.
I sincerely apologize for not asking your permission or Shandy's before posting message. And again, I apologize for ignoring your credits as co-author.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-08-23 03:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SHANDY'S RANK AND VILE??
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-22 18:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is such a great introduction. Part II, however, is the section that made me realize the true genius of the story.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24421
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-22 18:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf? I am not reading all of that?
Well, what I read was excellent... +2
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-20 21:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Delinquent - rank and file
encoded, stamped and styled
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-20 21:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is indeed fascinating. A completed novel of this sort would certainly be worthy of publication.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-28 18:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you and apollo had that fight, because otherwise I never would have started to read this.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-05-27 20:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shandy, I'm sorry I hadn't read this earlier. For some reason I have never clicked on a R & V link...
It's inexplicable.
***
This was/is an amazing piece. I think I'm going to spend a few hours reading through all of the R & V stuff, now. On one level I was mesmerized by the way in which you wrote this... it felt good to read. It's as if I had little nerouns firing about in my brain that had otherwise been stagnant.
On a deeper level, I was intrigued by the entire concept of this... it is the type of writing that I want to read, and read again, to make sure I haven't missed any tiny morsel information.
-I'm off now, to finish reading R & V. I suppose I should thank you and Apollo for your little fight, because without that spat, I wouldn't have known how important R & V was, and I wouldn't have been curious to see what the fuss was about.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-04-15 18:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, meant to rate.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-04-15 18:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At last, I find it!
I will work my way through this when I can. I didn't find the language to be an obtrusion, not at all. I didn't understand all of the re: Re: things, but they didn't stop me from reading on. It *does* remind me of 1984 though. I think it's also the writing style and not just the telescreens. You did well to give voice to those things in your head that were interrupting your work. You must go fully to your distractions and let them out before they will leave you alone.
I will continue to read and comment as I can.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did NOT see this one before. Goddamn no wonder I was lost as to what was going on.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-02-28 08:45:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahah, check out my comments to this. Marvellous.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-02-27 19:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
really drky?? I'm glad to know you enjoyed it and thanks for reading it. not many people have read it - i suppose putting long pieces up reduces the chance of being more widely read.
I've listed all the links below. If you're able to read any more of it, please comment even if you don't like it or find it boring or whatever. we're fairly serious about trying to make it into a finished book, so any criticism could be useful.
part two is here:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24421
then continues:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25084
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25373
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25391
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26381
There is also material by Apollo88 in his archive:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25679 (this needs to be merged with one of my posts above as there was some accidental duplication, so is a bit confusing at the moment as to where it fits it with the story)
His Man in Iron Mask Series is also connected, though we haven't worked out how it will tie in with main narrative yet:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24139
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24238
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24338
Submitted by drky (user info) at 2004-02-27 11:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shandy - after you random comments caused me to come and read this i feel it is the best thing i've read on uber so far...
I'm going on a hunt for the rest now...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-03 06:41:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This awesome.
I don't use that word often.
I immediately thought of 1984 but I then changed my mind, I think it must have been the telescreen references.
I would certainly be interested in reading more.
I would be interested in collaborating, however, I don't think I am capable of this. I would surely like to try though.
Am I Shakespeare? - Fucking, fucking, fucking superb. Excellent stream of consciousness.
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-11-02 12:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-11-02 12:02:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure how well it would work out if longer - this length held my attention. The language could bore some, it didn't read as quickly as a lot of stuff but it was fine by me.
Where would you hope to take it?
It did provoke a lot of thought.
I find social status and my own subconscious desire to attain it- to feel wanted, loved, needed, poluar etc, a little frightening. Things are done for stupid reasons, priorities are skewed, at least in my case.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-11-02 10:00:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks for reading this insane. my concern about this is that the language might be a bit prosaic and pedantic or dull (apart from the intermission). did you find that at all? and did it provoke any philosophical type thoughts? I wrote this before the big brother tv series, and saw that as vindication i was on the right track.
i've just raised this piece on appollo's link re. the ubercollaboration, along with some other ideas, and would be interested in your views:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106743922778512867
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-11-02 09:12:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Entertaining.
I liked especially the intermission.
I would read more definitely.