i must be adopted (700 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.5 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by angrykoz.at.suckit.com (View user info) at 2004-01-27 12:10:25 EST
Phone conversation I had this morning:
Me: Hello?
Brother: Hey, I need a favor.
Me: Yea, what can I do for you?
Brother: I need a couple hundred bucks to fix my car.
Me: OK, no problem. What happened?
Brother: I broke my windshield cleaning the ice off of it this morning.
Me: How bad is it broke? I mean you should still be able to drive it with a crack in the windshield.
Brother: No, there is a pretty big hole in it.
Me: How in the holly fuck did you do that!?!
Brother: Ummm... I don't know.
Me: Well, what did you use to scrape the ice off?
Brother: That old shovel in the garage.
Me: Your stupid fuck!! <click>
The shovel he was talking about is an old cast iron coal shovel that weighs about 20 - 25 pounds that we use to break ice up the driveway and stairs going outside. What is the thought process leads to shit like this?
SAME BROTHER: http://www.ubersite.com/m/21727
User Reviews
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-01-27 17:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
*snort*
Submitted by Milkman (user info) at 2004-01-27 13:46:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
heh
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-01-27 13:07:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hehe, mule.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2004-01-27 13:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My dad tells me that I'm adopted.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-01-27 12:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When I first read the title I thought it was going to be about something you were striving for.
This post is good too though.
Submitted by lilgreenbean0320 (user info) at 2004-01-27 12:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never thought about keeping shovels away from my little sister until I read this. Anyways the thought process, as my sister told me, goes like this:
1) I know I have a problem.
2) Heavy or large things usually work better to fix problems than small, weightless stuff does.
3) I'm not able to hold the big heavy thing for a long time so it falls and breaks something.
4) I try to clean up the mess and I make it worse.
When I asked her why she thought heavier, larger objects worked better she told me that bigger vaccuums can suck bigger things up faster.
Maybe they're right about the older siblings being smarter than the retarded younger siblings...
+2 for having to put up with him
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-01-27 12:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I used a pick axe the morning, I call them "speed holes"
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2004-01-27 12:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a sister like that