How to Write Better Stuff (835 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: ETS_Comedy_Writing
Rating: 0.5 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2004-07-15 10:58:36 EDT
My friend Todd - he is a real bad dude. He sugges...umm...said to me that langu...umm...talking... would be easier if we did not compli...umm...make it hard. He is right, too. Words are hard when they are big. He even thinks we should cut out big words altoge...umm...entir...cut out big words. he also thinks that punctua umm periods and suff are not useful he also thinks that we should cut out small common words like a the is and be i are to
could not agree more told him words which he speaking useless really argued first then came reali umm recog umm see that does make communi umm more coher umm easy
agree with Todd now much easier less work strange think more now though rules hard follow
If this makes no sense, it's because my friend Todd makes no sense. He comes up with these intensely stupid ideas just to piss me off. He actually did argue this point last night that language would be easier if we dropped conjunctions, non-action verbs, and any other device he deemed unnecessary, and I was wondering what it would be like if I tried to write like this. It is the opposite of easy - it is hard. Or should I just say....'hard'. Keep in mind that this is not that same Todd whose username is Toddfather, this Todd is just some random joe, and not that random joe...one even more random and obscure than that.
Here is a translation of the above scrabble...for all you non-code-breakers:
(My friend, Todd, is an idiot. He suggests that language would be easier if we did not complicate it so much, and he is right. Words are hard - especially when they are large. He even goes so far as to suggest that we should cut out big words altogether. He also thinks that punctuation is not useful and that we should cut out small common words like "a the is and be i are to".
I could not agree more. I told him that the words of which he was speaking are, indeed, useless...actually, at first I disagreed, but then came to realize that it DOES make communication more coherent.
I agree with Todd now. It is much easier, not to mention less work. Strange how I have to think more now, though. The rules are hard to follow.)
PS: Don't start with your "this post sucks" shit either. I KNOW this post sucks. That's the fucking point. Nevermind...I'm too sexy for this post.
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-11 01:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by eIectrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-23 07:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
Submitted by equaIizer (user info) at 2004-10-21 00:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder...it would be an apocalypse!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-18 21:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think this would be useful for those still in ubermadness.
Submitted by equalizer (user info) at 2004-09-14 03:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Equalized.
Submitted by fake_bargled (user info) at 2004-09-07 19:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ONE THOUSAND CASH REGISTERS - This is so no one has to wait in line to purchase goods. And they will be EVERYWHERE. It'll be a law that there must be a cash register within five square feet of anywhere in the store. And when you're done you get teleported to the exit. Bada boom, bada bing.
Submitted by vengeance (user info) at 2004-08-13 22:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by FetishII (user info) at 2004-08-12 19:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-12 19:38:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hope this is what you wanted!
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Mr. Spam man, bring some spam. My nane is electrictoothsyndrome, and I'm like the 20th to spam Fetish this month, ain't I cool?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-12 19:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-12 19:38:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hope this is what you wanted!
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Better make sure you spam them all, I'm not missing a one, bitch!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-15 16:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never thought I would get even one +2 for this SPT post.
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-07-15 14:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I came here from a link on another post with the full intention of -2ing this. But, alas, it was good. Damn it. Another day, another life.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-15 12:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually he does read, but I'll now have to call him out on that. I don't read at all...EVER! It taints my personal style. I think e.e.cummings was the same way...or was it Ezra Pound? I don't know, cause I haven't read them either.
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-07-15 12:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Tell your buddy George Orwell already figured this one out. He might want to knock of the constant masturbation, and try picking up a book every once in a while.
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo know what meant only being funny
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Believe it, I can't. +2's I got!
(Expression indicating ejaculatory amazement and genuine appreciation for professed amuzement.)
In other words...WOW! Thanks!
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by disAbled (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:25:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
duckspeak
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1984? More like 2004.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this post. It is good. This post is good. I like it.
Submitted by disAbled (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
duckspeak
Submitted by transcendent (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:05:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought that was quite clever.
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Me too. The idiots who -2'd must not have read it, and just wanted to -2 something.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i didn't mean your retard friends ideas dumbass I meant the way you conveyed them.
Whatever.
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not much self-esteem. . .
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Leave it to the patron god of poets, Apollo, to think this shitty post was clever...
It's not clever...it's annoying.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Tell me about it...
I do think it would be better if we cut out your balls along with the conjunctions.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought that was quite clever.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ummm... I got nothing.
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't think it works, because this is a shitty post.