It’s My Uberbirthday, What the Hell Did You Assholes Get Me? (1264 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.74 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by youarsoghey (View user info) at 2005-01-01 22:44:57 EST
One year ago I did it. I signed up.
I signed up for Ubersite.
1/1/2004.
Like today, I was bored, just a day away from returning to Boston. I had long enjoyed reading the stories, and I wanted to tell a few of my own. I wrote my first post on January first, and it was the greatest thing anyone on this site had ever seen. Thousands and thousands of blowjobs later, you guys wiped your mouths off and thanked me for being such a genius.
After a few more posts, I ignored Ubersite for a while, only visiting it occasionally to write some shitty posts. In March, I decided it was time for me to write some posts. In the last 365 days, I've written 95 posts, some of them well thought-out, for a website.
A website.
My jaw nearly dropped to the floor when I received a letter in the mail from Northeastern University last week that said I got straight A's last marking period. I was surprised because I had sacrificed countless studying hours whilst writing stories for UberMadness.
For a while, during the summer when I had nothing better to do, I wrote a new post almost every day because I felt I had so many interesting and funny stories to tell. Did I make people laugh hysterically? No, probably not. I don't have that kind of writing capacity. Did I make people cry when they read a cheesy love story of mine? No, probably not. Once again, I don't have that kind of writing capacity. Did I fit a small niche?
Yes, I like to think so.
However, I have recently grown more and more disinterested with putting in a significant effort on creating posts that I think are worth reading. Why did I put effort into my posts? Because though I was often trying to entertain, I also wanted to improve my writing and story-telling abilities.
I stand here a year later with a bunch of hits, a 1.40 average rating, and some people I can talk to online from time to time to keep me from being bored. I love reading the posts, but I wish Bart would update boredatwork.com more often than once every week or two, because there are just so many posts every day that need to be read, and I just don't have the patience to sift through the shit.
In that respect, there is a significant similarity between Ubersite and TJ Max, the low-cost clothing retailer. Is it worth spending two hours at TJ Max just to eventually find a $120 shirt for $30? Sometimes it is, but most of the time I just don't have the patience.
I probably won't be posting much for a while (maybe the same rate as the last few months), but don't get me wrong...this isn't a shitty "cry for me because I'm 'retiring' sort of" post. I'm just reflecting on my year at Ubersite and telling you guys that I won't pump out shit just for the sake of posting, I'll wait to have something good.
Anyway, enough of this post about posts. Wish me a happy Uberbirthday. I leave you with this:
======================================================
My New Year's Resolution:
To successfully write the date on the top of a paper without writing "04" first then scratching out the 4 and writing a 5 next to it.
User Reviews
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-03-29 16:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-04 21:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who the fuck rememebrs their uber birthday. dude, youre gay. like that dude on discovery channel gay. seriously.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-01-14 17:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for the last sentence, too true
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-01-03 20:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy uberbirthday.
Glad to know you are alive and well.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-02 15:10:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! I got you that InDiana Jones porn you've been talking about for three months.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-02 14:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I shall assume that you don't care *that* much about your rating, but I shall try to get this rating a bit higher.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-02 14:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoops.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-02 14:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's another.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-02 14:44:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry. See what I meant about being an idiot?
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-01-02 14:43:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool. And this is a +2 for the sole reason that I wrote '03 on a term paper- LAST OCTOBER.
Yes, I'm retarded. But others share my pain. Sort of.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-01-02 12:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-01-02 12:02:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here you go!
*ejaculates*
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-01-02 11:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got you, uh... a -2 DIE! Yeah!
Happy new year's/birthday/whatever!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-02 09:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn it, you guys are lazy. Here's the reference:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/21918
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-01-02 08:11:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's my birthday-birthday, what the fuck did you get me, huh, huh, punk??
Happy Uberversery
:o)
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-01-02 04:50:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got you this..
What??? I'm a cheap fuck.
Fuckoff.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2005-01-02 03:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's your present, I made it myself: http://www.ubersite.com/u/Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar
And what do you mean by reference, is that from something or is it just that everyone did that throughout school whenever they went back to school after New Year's.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2005-01-02 03:15:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't it seem like a long ass time from when you started on Uber? I remeber when I first started on Uber, and then when I think about how much time has passed, it just blows my mind. So much shit has happened on uber since then, not to mention the REAL world and everything else.
It's been great having you here man.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-01-02 01:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got you:
12 Drummers Drumming
11 Pipers Piping
10 Lords a Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Maids a Milking
7 Swans a Swimming
6 Geese a Laying
5 Golden Rings
4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens
2 Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Call it a belated Christmas gift.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-01-02 01:18:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got you this:
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/birthday.php
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-01-01 23:35:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25979#399174
I got you the funniest random joe comment in history.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-01 23:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It was the last one they had, I think it was the floor model. You might have to change the cum deposit chamber.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-01 23:01:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sweet. It better be used.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-01 22:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i got you a mechanical vagina
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-01 22:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Right around where my penis hangs: very, very low.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-01 22:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Next question: Where would your hit count be today if it weren't for Lindsey Lohan's areolae?
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-01-01 22:49:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday, here's a shiny new plus 2. Thanks for encouraging me to join Ubermadness back in September, right after i signed up for Uber. It encouraged me to write again, which I hadn't done since high school. Take care, man.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-01-01 22:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yesterday was mine. Rock on.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-01 22:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The person who first names the reference I make at the end of the post and in the picture wins the Obscurity Prize.