FUPA Round 1: Shlongy takes on Nitty (2864 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 0.45 on 129 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ShlongyThe PoetLaureate (View user info) at 2006-03-20 15:21:54 EST
When asked to write a laundry list of things that I do love
A certain pastime comes to mind. A bat. A ball. A glove.
And thinking back upon the greatest greats to play this game,
There is one Mexi-shining star, and Penoz was his name.
Perez, you say, a far more normal name to name a spic
Alas, his mom was hooked on crack. His dad? A fat dumb dick.
And though they tried to write 'Perez' upon his cert of birth,
The mom smoked up and dad was hindered by his mighty girth.
Crack pipes and rolls of fat did mar parental penmanship
Thus, Perez turned into 'Penoz' when the ballpoint pen did slip.
A childhood filled with taunts and tears - the boy was teased by all
His outlook changed for good when he picked up that first baseball.
Penoz was born a star of stars, he made the game exciting.
His swing was pure, his arm was gold, his glove was all-inviting.
From daybreak till the stars came out, he worked to rule the game
The only part he hated? When opponents saw his name.
There were no cries of 'hit the ball' when he stepped to the plate
His batting focus ruined by his naming twist of fate
There were no claps, no shouts, no pretty cheerleaders were singing
All they yelled when he was up was "Look, Penoz is swinging!"
The male fans became bigger dicks, the women bigger bitches
If Penoz didn't see a strike among the first 2 pitches.
For if they both were somewhere out of where the strike zone falls,
The cries would come from all around that "Penoz has 2 balls!"
And God forbid his coach should play him left of second base.
His brow would tense, his head would hurt, the smile would leave his face.
"Penoz is the starting shortstop" was not pregame's report
The announcer would instead just say that "Look, Penoz is short!"
When poor Penoz was called up to pitch during a game
His arm, like anyone's, would tire. Pain would haunt his frame
But no one called him tired, or a weakarm, or a wimp
All they said when he was drained was "Looks like Penoz is limp."
All true fans know very well that hitting brings the money
And though he learned to switch hit Penoz didn't find it funny
For he could blister homers from the left and right for days
The didn't call him versatile - they said 'Penoz goes both ways!"
For twenty years the taunts rolled on, 'til Penoz called it quits.
He didn't need the badgering from those ungrateful shits.
His dreams and stats and skills ignored, they asked for no encore.
All they said when he retired? "I think Penoz is sore."
His life had been a melting pot with slurs in constant motion
He moved away and found a little hut set near an ocean
And lived his life, and took a wife who couldn't have been cuter
Her given name was Katherine, but folks just called her Kooter.
User Reviews
Submitted by RestrictionsApply (user info) at 2008-10-21 22:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:42:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ever since nitty said the Pack "looks like a winner for me", they've allowed three TD's on three consecutive drives.
THANKS, nitts!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Incomprehensional gibberish below
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 23:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I ain't celebrating a Pack cover yet...believe me. Their "d" can't stop anyone.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:47:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Buffalo (+8) 64
Temple 62
Michigan 67
NCSU (+2) 74
Drexel 81
Rider (+4) 89
This is the easiest time of the year to bet college BB in my opinion. Especially the small schools. Temple and Buffalo evenly matched, as were Michigan and NCSU. Both favorites were favored because of years past.
Bet the names on the backs of the jerseys, not the fronts.
The Rider game was just a tip I got. Kinda worked out for me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:42:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool to see Buffalo win/cover...They were at home? Playing who?
My sis is a UB grad.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:30:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mine was better. http://www.ubersite.com/m/85572
I can't believe you too the Pack tonight. I didn't touch it, but looks like a winner for you.
On a good note, my 3 NCAAB picks - all dogs - all won straight up.
Buffalo +8
NC State +2
Rider +4
So I got that goin for me, which is nice.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Everyone does, Pal. You're not alone.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is still the best thing you've ever written. I wish I had this kind of talent.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea but I like getting hits on "the classics".
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what are these homos doing here? If I wanted to see this on MRR, I'd review it. Oh yeah...
I
I
I
I
I
V
Submitted by RotogenRay (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well played, Sir...
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-07-21 16:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 in hopes that we can make peace with each other. Friends?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-02 15:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where's my check?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-02 12:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, you won.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-02 12:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot...Did I win this contest or not?
Submitted by disko (user info) at 2006-04-05 13:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Baseball is for men in tights.
You my friend are a fruit ;)
Chin up
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2006-04-04 21:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
nope
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-01 12:57:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"i swallow" -shlongy
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 23:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ambiguously gay duo: Shlongy and Nitty.
It's better the way I wrote it: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85889 .
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-26 12:50:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2. here's hoping nitty blows it and forgets to post so i can move on and make another ridiculous production that upsets all the poetry nerds...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-26 12:49:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-25 13:33:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
You must have missed the 47 posts where I mention that we shave my nuts.
===========
WTF I'M NOT READING ALL THAT.
Good to know though. "We"? Hot.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-25 13:33:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You must have missed the 47 posts where I mention that we shave my nuts.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-25 10:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well of COURSE, I will, babe.
Would it kill you to trim a little for me though? It is 2006.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-25 10:08:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, the stats will show that only 34 out of 103 reviews (33%) come form the King himself.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-25 10:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fair enough, Sac.
Now take that tongue and circle my balls with it.
THANK YOU in advance.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-25 09:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-25 09:04:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
More hits than everyone elses first round FUPA shit.
Imagine that.
==================
You're right. That's what happens when you review your own post every 10 minutes so it stays on MRR, I guess. That's a good strategy, actually. You can't see me, but I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-25 09:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-25 09:04:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
More hits than everyone elses first round FUPA shit.
Imagine that.
___________________________________________
That's because we looks to da Massa for inspiration.
Too bad all we got was dogshit :<P
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-25 09:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
More hits than everyone elses first round FUPA shit.
Imagine that.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-03-24 19:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
99 problems and a bitch ain't one
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-03-24 19:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry from shlongy????????????
what happened to this place?
personally i blame...................
Thats right, Frank Stallone.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-24 16:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Blow yourself.
Submitted by scornednornery (user info) at 2006-03-24 13:52:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm convinced that no one puts as many reviews on their own posts as Shlongy. I guess if he's good at anything he's good at that?
This was terribly boring.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-24 12:29:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Almost there...keep it up, people.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-22 16:37:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Do not die until you have received 1500 hits.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-22 14:30:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Despite what the critics think, this a work of utter penozitry. It is glorious and beautiful. My hymen quakes with the very thought of penozii such as this.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-22 13:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Schlong Man prevails.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-22 12:46:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-22 10:53:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
The thought of me getting hot over her getting hot over me getting hot...is exhausting.
============
I tend to wear people out a lot.
Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-03-22 12:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so you like baseball right?
you could have said that in about 3 words.
idiot.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-22 10:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The thought of me getting hot over her getting hot over me getting hot...is exhausting.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 20:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The thought of me making you hot makes me hot.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good shit. And the thought of Shlongy "taking on" Nitty makes me kind of hot.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can understand your bitterness, nitty.
Mine is KILLING yours in hits and in rating.
And well it should.
Because mine is better.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:52:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck this shit. Mine was SO much better.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85572
Shlongy is a Penoz
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I heart Shlongy: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85608
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:34:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NEWS BULLETIN: THIS JUST IN...It looks like Shlongy has been reinstated- the Earth can continue to rotate on its' axis:
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:32:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
It's funny that you asked for a "petition", orgasmoe -
I happen to have received 15 e-mails to the nolan.at.baseballwriter.net account.
The tally so far:
12 "You should still be ins"
2 No opinion
1 "You're still a faggot" (That one was from Swamp Donkey, I believe)
So it looks like I'm BACK IN THE GAME!!! Congratulations to me, and a smart move by you, Tagliabue.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:26:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Go ahead and put together a petition, Shlongy. Or an informal vote.
See how many of the 28 participants think that your entry deserves to be treated the same as theirs.
That should give you something to do for a while.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who asked you?
If I wanted the opinion of some d-lister, I'd...I'd...who are you again?
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
With the admission that nitty wrote it (whether untrue or not, it was a good move).
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I suppose I could also look forward into perhaps, getting kicked out of UberMadness, too.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, obviously nitty, but y'know...
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
come on.
who else in uber could join a fucking poetry contest and get a DQ?
you got flare ol' man, and not that shite that they make you wear when you work at
shitty restaurants neither.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It ain't THAT happy...my 100th got me a DQ.
Mr. DQ.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 13:23:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
You know what I think?
-----
No. What do you think?
and if it's something about ghola and i visiting you and it envolves cheesecake i'll do a jig.
happy 100th old man.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Even with all my detractors, my rating is higher than most of the FUPA participants.
I am BACK IN THE COMPETITION!!! YES!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:32:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll camwhore it for a hummer.
This is called, "negotiating a price".
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, here's your Calvin and Hobbes tattoo +2, another one if you camwhore it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:07:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But I'm Mr. DQ. I don't count. I don't matter. I don't exist.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've rethought this and it's definitely "worth reading," so have a +2 to balance things out.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Mr. DQ" SHOULD be the winner.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:45:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
winner!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:13:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
bauahahahahahahaahahahaha...
"Hey, your dinghy scratched my anchor!!!"
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:41:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's not poetry. THIS is poetry...
It's easy to grin
When your ship comes in
And you've got the stock market beat
But the man worthwhile
Is the man who can smile
When his pants are too tight in the seat
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:27:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not really, MANIC...You may want to research this before you give ME an undeserved compliment.
Although, I have had some success in the poetry arena.
Who can forget the classic, award winning:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Fuck
You
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I'll be damned, Shlong can rhyme.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't realize this was baseball related.
Then again, it's tough to realize anything at 6 AM every fucking morning.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 07:48:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tell me something I DIDN'T know, Spook.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-03-21 06:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, poetry blows.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha not bad.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't make me bring "Here I Sit" out of retirement, kids...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Lori Laughlin. She's a fucking beave.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:14:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that would be like..... OH MY FUCKING GOD! THAT WOULD BE LIKE LORI LOUGHLIN FIGHTING THE VIRGIN MARY TO SEE WHO COULD FUCK GOD!!!!!!!
i love being a huge nerd. it helps me deal with the fact that i have no friends and i have bad body odor.
time to go coach.
goodbye for now,
wardy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:27:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
You probably couldn't care less about the opinion of a casual reader like me, but I really quite enjoyed this.
That is not true. I love ALL my fans.
OK, BOTH my fans.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wardy - if we both win just nine more rounds of this bullshit, I think, we could face off against each other to see who is the best Uber poet in the universe! Just think...
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry, i don't think i can go over a +1, sir. plus, you haven't met my demands yet that i made on my poetry post.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
C'mon, cocksmokers...I need some more +2's so I can beat my arch enemy nitty and advance to Round 2!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:36:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My "social experiment" on Uber is going awry...I'm creeping into the + column...
AIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!
Alright, here's what we'll do for you- we'll BOTH re-submit a poem but we need more time.
How does next Monday, the 27th work for you. Good?
OK, it's settled. We're both still in.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1892571
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:27:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You probably couldn't care less about the opinion of a casual reader like me, but I really quite enjoyed this.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
a Solid zero on 50 reviews should make you happy, Whistler
Submitted by midwesternknight (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad at all, shows your love for the penos, and oh ubersite too
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I designed it myself about , oh God, almost 20 years ago? Christ.
It's Calvin and Hobbes, next to each other with a baseball mitt and a glove, although I'll be damned if I can recall who's wearing or holding which implement.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:03:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh - I chuckled
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:45:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
are we not internet friends any more?
Yeah, we're still internet friends, Zakalwe.
I hate you a lot less than I hate everyone else.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All in all, this was pretty good.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:43:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Susie Derkins fucks Shlongy's rating, even though I am the proud owner of a Calvin & Hobbes tattoo on my right back shoulder?
The shame of it all.
What ever happened to rating the poster, not the post?
------------------------------------------
Doesn't work that way, sweetcheeks. You said so yourself. Although I'll give you a worthless +2 for the tattoo, what does it look like?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
are we not internet friends any more?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Susie Derkins fucks Shlongy's rating, even though I am the proud owner of a Calvin & Hobbes tattoo on my right back shoulder?
The shame of it all.
What ever happened to rating the poster, not the post?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:30:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
highvoltage changes his score to go with the crowd, what a fucking virgin.
-----
Yeeeeah... I'm sure that's it.
I changed my score because they failed to write individual poetry.
I can do what I want with my score. Hell look I'm about to +2 it!
.....
No I'm not....
Might as well join the bandwagon.
-2 DIE bandwagon.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
method, you sir have not read my brilliant masterpiece of poetry. feel free to -2 it all over the place. your best friend in the world already did.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
P.S. baseball is the most boring fucking "sport" on the planet, if you can call it that. I detest it.
Unless the Yankees are playing. Then it's ok.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:36:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Please, you of all people should appreciate the fact that I -2 poetry, especially SHITTY poetry like this, regardless of who wrote it, instead of kissing your ass.
And my head is perfectly round, thank you very much
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:32:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is your 100th post?
...
WELL DONE SHLONGY!
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
highvoltage changes his score to go with the crowd, what a fucking virgin.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:29:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:25:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope Calvin rapes your brown starfish
--------------------------------
Oooooh, pwnage.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:29:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My own ALTER just -2-ed me?
Someone with a such a square, block head should NOT be dropping -2's on Shlongy...and that's after I ackowledge your existance and everything.
I'm very disappointed, Method.
And I will NOT be attending my own AC Ubercon.
Although I will be hosting my own in June in AC.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:26:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:23:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
No, I don't get this. No, I don't care. No, you're not getting a good rating.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope Calvin rapes your brown starfish
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you fucking tool
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:23:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No, I don't get this. No, I don't care. No, you're not getting a good rating.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
shake off them haters, shlongy. the fact of the matter is that here we actually have an entry from someone that realized they are not the next marlowe, an uber lyricist. instead, you realized your limitations, which unfortunately for you resemeble that of a six year old boy with downs and a sexual appetite for baseball.
for that, i commend you and your efforts.
why would we get disqualified?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:20:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy, you disappoint me.
----
I never thought we'd agree Z, but we did.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck, Z...you, if anyone should be LOVING THIS.
Or, you're not getting it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I like MichelleNJ. She has great taste in poets.
I wonder if she's slim. Because I won't fuck a fat chick.
Unless I'm REALLY, REALLY hammered.
Mrs. Shlongy's a good looking broad. I'd do her.
If she'd let me.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy, you disappoint me.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:17:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+1 this post was FAR better than mine
+1 you've got a nice house
+1 you got me free golf
+1 your wife does indeed have huge teets
-4 MichelleNJ is a slore
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you guys SURE you read this carefully?
It KILLS all the other entries. Re-read it and get back to me.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to the suck
Submitted by hactar (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:55:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Good lord, this sucked.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:52:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Orgasmatron - can you disqualify BOTH of these fuckwits and give me a bye to round 3? PLEASE?!?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post even smells bad.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Did you copy me?
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:38:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's your competition, jerky.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85572
HIKE
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Make up your mind, honey...
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:36:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was exquisite.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah...it hurts.
Bad timing. But then I realized that I care as much about my 100th post as I did about my first, the memorable http://www.ubersite.com/m/40504
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:32:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey that "fag" happens to be your all time favourite poster back from the dead, show some respect.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:32:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pitty 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You know I kind of liked it.
Subject was a little weak though.
+1 to help out for the -2's below.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile. Happy 100th Shlongy!
Oh, and nice to finally see your 100th post too.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:30:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uhhhh....
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God, it must absolutely be killing you that you wasted your 100th post on THIS.
Here's a pity +0.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And the SECOND -2 of the young season has been thrown out by some fag named Brandon.
WAY TO GO!
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:25:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
have you seen my baseball?
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 15:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this sucks