Rap Rap Rap - Fiction (542 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.71 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PMJ <potatomanjack79.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-08-07 20:42:29 EDT
Somebody's knocking at the door. I don't want to answer it. I just can't deal with anybody right now. No one, no how no way. If the pope himself was at the door surrounded by a chanting congregation of angels, I still wouldn't want to poke my head out. I'm too hung-over. My head feels like there's an ADD kid in there hammering away at the sides with an ice-pick. Just opening my eyes makes me cringe at the pain that the light causes in my skull.
Rap rap rap
Why won't they stop knocking? Please, just stop fucking knocking on my door. It's 'rap rap rap' pause 'rap rap rap' pause. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Just cut it out already. Yes, you can see a TV on through the window, but that doesn't give you the right to keep your incessant knocking going until the lazy slob gets up to answer. The volume's off on my TV for a reason pal, noise at the moment is a sledgehammer on the concrete of my temples.
Rap rap rap.
You sick fuck, just stop it already. Get the hell out of here. I don't go to your house and knock on the door. Hell, I don't go to anyone's house and knock on the door. I sit here, happy with my whiskey and my TV. I don't need family, I don't need friends, and I certainly don't need Mr. Fuckwit knocker either. You hear that fuck brain? Huh? I don't fucking need you or whatever it is you're peddling, so just leave before it gets to the point where me getting up to make you stop is outweighed by the hellish annoyance your causing me.
Rap rap rap
I don't know what you want. I don't care what you want. Just leave. Get the fuck away from my door. Get away now. Just fucking disappear!
...
...
...
I think he's gone. Thank the makers. Nothing in my life has ever been as nice as this feeling. Just knowing that the ravages of his horrible knocking at my door is gone is almost enough to make me think that life's worth living. Heh, almost. You know, he could always come back, and that's what tips the scale in the other direction. Just knowing that on any given day, a sadistic soul might head back this way and in my hour of hang-over induced torture, decide to twist a fiery blade of noise into my already aching cerebellum. And so, I continue to drink. The whiskey may take a while, but it will work. One day my liver will just say "fuck it, that's it, I'm out." And then it's goodbye for your truly.
Rap rap rap
You fucking malicious bastard. You've crossed the line now. I bet you think that you're pretty funny standing out there playing your little knocking game. Here Charlie Brown, kick the football, I'll hold it for you. Woops! I moved it, let's all have a good laug at you because you fell down. Fuck you Lucy, I've got cleats on and the next kick is right to you ugly bitch face. Then I'll stomp you into the ground, and use your caved in skull as the stand for the football. The next kick will go straight through the fucking uprights, you better believe it.
Rap rap rap
Ok you win, or should I say you lose. You've pushed me too far. There she is, there's my beautiful little .38 special. You'll do the trick nicely. I'm up now, and I've got cold steel in my hand that will end your knocking once and for all. I'll be in agony for a couple more seconds as I pull myself up and walk to the door, but then it will all be over, and I'll be able to lie back down on my ever so comfortable couch and get on with my pitiful life. I'm coming to open the door to see what was so goddamn important. I bet you're not expecting to see the barrel of a gun in your face, motherfucker. Here we go, say hello Smith and Wesson...
"What the fuck do you wan...."
"Peter Lendel. It's time for you to come with me."
"But... you're... it can't be time already... I thought I'd have a little while longer."
"Everyone does."
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-08 16:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-08-07 21:03:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 PMJ sighting.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-08 08:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Peter ... Lendel ... must ... die.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-08 07:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU, N00B!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-08-08 00:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-07 20:47:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll read it later, but it says PMJ.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-07 21:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
*cue everyone chiming in, saying "of course you are a moron!"*
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-07 21:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2006-08-07 20:55:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
No, that's the end of the story right there. Just look a little bit more into the ending and also the character's motivation.
God... that sounded sooooo pretentious.
=============
PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE!
It's okay, I'm apparently a moron. 'Cause I don't see it.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-08-07 21:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 PMJ sighting.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2006-08-07 20:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, that's the end of the story right there. Just look a little bit more into the ending and also the character's motivation.
God... that sounded sooooo pretentious.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-08-07 20:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not sure where this is going but I am assuming it is TO BE CONTINUED
unfortunately I thought it would be some RAP RAP RAP music; I guess you can't have it all!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-07 20:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll read it later, but it says PMJ.