taking showers is fucking stupid (1025 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.12 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by loki (View user info) at 2006-10-05 12:42:22 EDT
I don't know why I even bother taking showers. I woke up this morning and it turns out I left my sink on all night, and the hot water had long been depleted.
I wouldn't have left the water on, but some asshole who I don't remember giving my number to decided to call me and ask me out Friday. I politely declined and told him to please never call me again.
shampoo
I am always out of shampoo. I'm convinced that angry gmones come from my toilet and empty all the shampoo.
where else would all the shampoo go? There is NO explanation.
When I'm done taking my shower which consisted of washing my hair with body soap and water that feels somewhat akin to standing naked outside in a hail storm, I discover a lack of towels.
oh SNAP that's all I need, air drying in a cold house
Now I get to look forward to having a cold. I'll more than likely end up laying on my couch all day watching the price is right. I wonder if Bob Barker is dead yet.
Speaking of old useless people, I was at the grocery store the other day, and some old guy winked at me.
?!?!
that made me incredibly uncomfortable and I went over in my mind how I could accuse him of sexual harassment.
My mind told me that even if a perverted old man winks at me, I can't sue him in regards to it.
I decided to just slip a box of the tampons I had into his cart while he wasn't looking.
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-29 03:47:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:04:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Perk up woman loki=auto+2
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Although you get full cred for cashing in on the ever annoying "auto" bullshit.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-29 03:45:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
... or it could be the whole 'massive sucking' thing.
.02
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2007-01-29 03:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not sure how this has a negative rating. unless people love Loki THAT much that they'll bash anyone who mocks her...
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-10-12 00:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I checked the user id as soon as i saw the rating. Loki gets automatic +2's for just about everything, by just about everyone.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-10-11 23:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For an Uber newbie, this was brilliantly executed.
I almost gave it a -2, it was so real.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-10-06 07:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-06 00:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I checked by the fourth sentence but a good effort nonetheless.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i saw the title. and i thought, 'no, couldn't be. it's just too perfect.'
but it was. fucking figures.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-10-05 22:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't believe in showers.
cause i don't have time, what with all my sleeping.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-10-05 18:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fooled me.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Had me fooled. Well, almost.
Submitted by rejected (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, Loki refrains from capitalizing fairly often, and the amount in which I didn't was equal to the amount she usually doesn't.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Loki capitalizes.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're not loki....said in that Chris Farley voice.
ah well. good try.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not a bad imitation except loki wouldn't give her number out to some guy.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bye
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WAIT... OH DAMMIT... YOU FOOLED ME =(
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You should take a shower because you stink, much like this post.
You can do SO much better, Loki.
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-10-05 14:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 because you did a good job at imitating loki.
-2 because you clowned on Bob Barker. That guy's a pimp.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-10-05 14:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shampoo is better. It goes on first, and cleans the hair.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-10-05 14:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shampoo lasts forever in my house...i think the gnomes steal yours and give it to me...haha
Some little old lady told me not to stand close to the metro tracks today because someone could push me in...i think she wanted to push me in...hahh
oh boy, i drank to much coffee...time to go!
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:54:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
This was actually a pretty decent approximation of a loki post. Nicely done.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I'm an idiot...I've changed my mind.
This is brilliant.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Swallow ALL of your pills now.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
Seriously. Fuck showers.
What a waste of time.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll leave it at a 0, cause this reminds me of loki posts even though it sucked.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off
Submitted by rejected (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit, that means I'm getting banned now. I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU UBER PEOPLE.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
O, you half bearded, girl man...that's enough out of you. I do not want to repeat myself.
Want to play tummy sticks?
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Moron below.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:04:17 (#)
Ranking: 1
That was the first thing I checked. You look like dick washers.
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We all look like we've got your facial hair?
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perk up woman loki=auto+2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That was the first thing I checked. You look like dick washers.
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Woo Identity Theft is a crime!!!
Oh and two words.
Rinnai Infinity
^^^ Endless hot water.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-10-05 13:03:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't you have a pole to smoke, rejected?
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah you get banned for using another user's name. Examples recently - Method using Loren's and Stok using JonnyX's
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Loki has OCD too- I bet she never leaves taps on.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was actually a pretty decent approximation of a loki post. Nicely done.
Submitted by rejected (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
People must get banned pretty easily around here.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ha. Serves me right for not looking at the user info first.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
enjoy your banning.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Loki is like, married. I don't think blokes ring her up to go on dates.
you is getting banned for pretending to be Loki if BartBart finds out.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A post like this that make me wonder if you sometimes try to see what you can get away with here.
Who needs running water anyway?
Just slap a bay leaf under each arm and one between your legs - you're good to go.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
waaaaaaaaaaa
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
slip some monistat into carts. or nicer, pregnancy tests when it's a dumb teenage girl and her equally dumb teenage ghetto boyfriend. that's a laughriot right there.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
here, have one of my vicodins.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was sure I gave a -2.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not entertaining or interesting in any way. Bad punctuation. Read like a miserable person's attempt at a blog. Just kill yourself and get it over with.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-10-05 12:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Life sounds difficult.