UberMadness IV - Round Eight Anal (3097 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.7 on 118 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2007-01-29 09:26:33 EST
ysis
A terrific author was sent packing this round, while three yet remain to tickle our senses and devour our brains. Who is this unholy trio of brain-eaters? Look out below!
WHO WROTE WHAT? WHO WON?
Jack_McCallum
charminglybeef
The Forgiven
Stevie_says
FunnyAsCancer (TIE - WINNER DECIDED BY UBERLORD VOTE)
Old Lies
JMG's BEST OF
I haven't been able to be around much lately, but that won't stop me from reading the entries and pickin' a favorite. That current favorite is
Charminglybeef's "The Forgiven" (Entry 2)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97947
Beef places us squarely into the mind of a man under a slow death sentence, testing his capacity to forgive the ultimate crime of passion. Could we ever do the same?
DAVID FIRTH SAYS:
"When a half-eaten dog falls from the sky, it's good luck."
SNARK SAYS:
"Round 9 begins Tuesday 12:00 Noon. Submission Deadline is Tuesday Feb 6 Noon. Voting ends Noon Friday the 9th."
Good luck to the remaining competitors! Bracket and sweet, sweet lovin' below.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-13 09:01:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-02-13 06:26:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck jack
--
Remember folks, it's a kinder, gentler, friendlier rad.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-12 03:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nickname Poll: jack87 or Horse_McCallum? Vote Here PLUS Jack's Camwhore !!! http://fagbelow.com/
--
Well I guess I made another sale. Cool.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-02-09 23:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is still happening?
Constructive criticism (for once): This takes too long.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-09 18:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What I want to know is why no one talked about the fact that Elton John was a raving ass bandit back in the 70s after he released 'Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy.'
I mean, come on!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-09 12:05:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Three people said they wanted to switch to mine...
Aw well, these things happen. I don't want to say good luck, Jack, because I hate you now (just kidding.) But yeah. Keep doing your thang, I guess.
Kinda bummed so many people thought MSPaint was a joke, though.
Whatever. I just couldn't take writing one more pseudo-intellectual story. This one was for me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-09 08:50:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's bullshit Method.
I'm gonna go King Meneptah on uber's ass and collect baskets of severed penises.
*sulk*
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-09 07:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-08 23:48:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
And Method accuses the rest of us of having no life outside uber...
http://fagbelow.com/
Method autoreponse imminent - "Honestly, Jack, that wasn't me. It was probably Apollo or JonnyX."
---------
Hey, if you want to accuse me of that, I'll gladly take the credit. It's fucking hysterical, and it's gotten your panties into a mighty bunch.
This goes as far as what you said, I mean horse87 said - "It's like when you were a kid and had that 'friend' that would bug the shit out of you endlessly just to get a rise out of you, simply for his own amusement."
That's about as far as it goes. I wouldn't waste one fucking penny on the uberboard or an actual website for this retarded bullshit contest. I am quite capable of stirring up enough shit around here without actually having to spend money on it. You flatter me though, really. I think you're an excellent writer, and deserve to win this contest, but it's incredibly boring, and I just like to add a little spice to things and amuse people.
I don't think it was Apollo or Jonny, since neither of them probably know how to create a website - even though if you look at the source code, it's built on a shitty template and doesn't take much to figure out. If I were going to do it, I would just create a page on my own site and link it here.
If you haven't figured out by now that we're just pushing your buttons for the fuck of it, then you're not as bright as I thought.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-08 23:55:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth repeating...
--
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98584#2307460
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2007-02-08 21:17:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
At the risk of repeating myself...
What I find dumb about all of this is the fact that you all constantly forget the fact that I already said that too_many_wheels was me and that I wasn't able to log into the account after a while for some reason. I created a second one using my hotmail name and just carried on. I never tried to hide it.
Yeah, I introduced Jack to Uber.
Yes, I did the lame ass promotional thing. Mea culpa. It was dumb. However, at the time,I figured if it got people to ask him a few questions, and get him writing again, it'd be a good thing, as he was in a sort of slump.
I never thought I might actually want to post on here ever again, or that Jack might actually wind up becoming so popular/notorious/whatever on Uber. I also never figured that there'd be a hardcore group of junior G-men, who, being so overcome by jealousy or just plain spite, simply had to find some way to prove Jack couldn't possibly be so popular as he appeared. The Horse87/too_many_wheels thing seemed to be your perfect smoking gun.
Never mind the obvious fact that Bart would bounce Jack from Uber if he created and alter and voted for himself. Never mind the fact that I've offered numerous times to prove where I am.
Lastly, never mind the fact that all you'd have to do is e-mail Bart and complain to him and the issue would be resolved. (..but then you might wind up getting nailed for some of your own alter activities, wouldn't you..?)
You'll keep posting, and whining and crying like the wingnuts you are, aggravating everybody on here in the process with your complaints, threats and 'evidence'... with the rest of us knowing that all the while, a single email could solve everything.
You guys just have to be right.
You just love your conspiracy theories, dont'cha?
Well, I hate to disappoint you, bud, but, although it would be a total waste of time, it wouldn't take much to truly fool you guys. It's just that you simply aren't important enough to warrant the effort, as I've said before.
You'll just have to face the fact that Jack's writing is usually popular (..if not always good..) and can win Ubermadness without any alter assistance. I know hearing that'll be hard on your fragile egos, but it's simply a fact of life you'll have to live with.
If you could have proven anything by now, you would have had Jack bounced from UM long ago. Since you know you can't, you'll settle for a little smear campaign. Sorta like your US politics, it seems. If someone's better than you, drag him down any way you can!
Anyway...Having said that, I think it's time to call you big mouth's out.
Bart, if you read this (..and I'm sure you will..) I give my express permission to you to make public on Uber the details of my geographic location. I have nothing to hide. A simple comment in this post will do.
Then, maybe, we can put an end to this.
(In addition, Jack, you may want to add your permission to allow Bart to make public the fact as to wether or not you have any alters voting for you in UM. We all already know you live in SF....with your cats.)
..and before all of you out there start thinking that Bart wouldn't be interested in this little sandbox spat, I will say that Jack and Bart have, in the past, had discussions about the use of alters. Jack specifically wanted to get an old one resurrected a little while ago and had to ask Bart's permission, as he could not log into the account. This led to some ground rules being presented to Jack, with the proviso that he not misuse the alter, as Jack once did let things get a little out of hand with one alter. Bart is *very* aware of who Jack's alter is and what he's doing with it.
(BTW, Not that anyone will believe me, but as of this post, Jack only has one active alter, and I'm pretty sure it isn't me...or even Wisher, no matter what you Einstiens want to believe.. Who it actually is is pretty obvious to anyone with 3 brain cells who's been on here for a while...)
Thus, if you really want to get rid of Jack, complain to Bart.
Jack's been warned, so if he's been cheating, he'll be banned. Plain and simple.
No need for all this pointless, inane, name calling.
But if you're wrong, you'd better be ready to apologize for the 'cheater' remarks...but you probably wouldn't have the balls for that, would you?
So....
Somebody gonna man up and contact Bart to settle this, or are you all still going to keep whining like widdle babees inna school yard?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-08 23:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And Method accuses the rest of us of having no life outside uber...
http://fagbelow.com/
Method autoreponse imminent - "Honestly, Jack, that wasn't me. It was probably Apollo or JonnyX."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-08 23:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-08 22:15:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoops, forgot to mention.
My contribution (whichever one it may be) to the match-up sucked major dick. Without these two, I never would have gotten the credit I don't deserve!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98588#2307521
--
Revealed!! DQ!!! Holy shiagfasgafsagtwiutyr87!!111111
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-08 22:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, if I were you, I'd feel honored.
Someone made an entire webpage devoted to hating you.
I mean, how freaking AWESOME is that? I'm jealous.
Really.
Not kidding.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:29:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For the record, in case anyone wonders why I lost my shit yesterday, the accusations that I voted for myself through alters and that horse87 is my alter (and later wisher) have now been going on for over 2 MONTHS straight, as has the unrelenting anti-Jack Uberboard campaign.
(Even as I write this reply I see this on the uberboard- "http://www.ubersite.com/m/98459#2305021 -- Jack reveals identity!! DQ??? - (V)")
Now try and tell me that won't have influence on some voters.
A few examples...
------------------------
(1)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2242080
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-11-27 16:05:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhh.... so now we go from 'alter' to 'buddy' and I have used his login. Right.
From the uberboard: HA HA Someone uses his buddy's login to vote for himself and then PROTESTS TOO MUCH !!!
(2)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2236716
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-11-27 12:00:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Horse87 is a separate person, but it begs the question of why he seems to always or only vote on Jack's UberMadness posts.
This round he voted on three, but only to make it appear that Jack isn't cheating.
Vote #1-
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96012#2232175
Notice the time stamp.
Vote #2- Jack's post, I believe, but I didn't double check it.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95993#2232177
Notice the time stamp again, barely a minute and a half after the initial vote.
Vote #3- About two and a half minutes after voting on Jack's matchup.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95980#2232182
***
Either horse87 is a really fast reader or Jack is a fucking cheater that tells him which post is his and asks him to vote on a couple others to make it look like he isn't a fucking cheater.
Not that I care, just don't be a liar, Jack_McCheatum.
-----------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-08 09:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
More like 100 votes without your alters, eh Jack?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 22:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
108 votes cast. That must be a record, or damn close.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:19:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm most likely gonna have to nail you, in the interest of self-preservation. Nothing personal, I just really, really wanna get to the finals.
But other than a final decision, I'm not gonna pursue it. I'm not badgering Method to do this or anything, I've actually already told him to shut up before.
I predict that you will never get laid. Ever.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:22:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98459#2305428
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:20:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FAC, I say I didn't reveal myself, but for the sake of argument let's say I did.
If I did, it happened in a post closed to non-voters. Only people who ALREADY voted could see this supposed revelation, therefore, it in no way affects the vote.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:19:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just gonna warn you right now, Jack:
If it comes down to my decision, whether or not I care you "used alters" or "revealed yourself..."
I'm most likely gonna have to nail you, in the interest of self-preservation. Nothing personal, I just really, really wanna get to the finals.
But other than a final decision, I'm not gonna pursue it. I'm not badgering Method to do this or anything, I've actually already told him to shut up before.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:42:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
Goddamn you all to HELL
--
Method, again.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:47:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys are clowns.
1. I did not say what entry is mine. I said that Method is going apeshit with alters.
2. Bart can easily verify that horse87 posts and Jack posts are coming from two diffrent countries. Let me say it again. Two different countries.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:42:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Goddamn you all to HELL
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do you think that a whole shitload of alters suddenly, and seemingly out of NOWHERE, decided to start voting against you? Perhaps you brought it upon yourself by cheating in the first place?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98459#2305021
CLEAR RULE INFRINGEMENT
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:39:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Amontillado
Axolotl
Beano312003
bob
Bubba2341
CaptainThorns
Caulaincourt
Coyote
DirtyHarry
DrogoRoch
DudeThatsBOSH
Genko
ghola
GodChicken
goferforhire
green_seduction
HadToBeDone
Hiredugan
*** horse87 ***
HotWillie
indoninja
inion_de_trua
*** Jack_McCallum ***
JMG114
Life101
littledan
MyNameIsTim
Orgasmatron
orph
redskieslookfake
richsghostdog
Sacrilicious
scourge
SkullBiter
Snare
snowclouds
Spuds002
St_Jimmy
supadupapupa
thecaes
TimetoDance
Unabonger
WingedFoote
34 eligible votes (43 total) *
JACK VOTED TWICE
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so the RULES only count when you can be arsed enforcing them is that correct?
Why call them RULES then?
How about 'general guidelines that don't always apply'?
Jack broke the rules.
Bye Bye Jack.
Simple eh?
Apparently not.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:32:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:41:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 14:31:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
shouldn't you be busy cheating in ubermadness?
--
Fuck off, cunt. You voted as Apollo AND kwame_johnson, don't talk to me about cheating. ""
i gave kwame to AJ ages ago actually.
--
Well that still counts as an alter vote against whatever poor bastard wrote that story.
Adamdidit2u
Antioxident
apollo88****
AsshOly
bicklefragile
BobLobla
darko
DCWoody
EchoBoxing
FunnyAsCancer
gravitas
Harbinger
hugafriend
IntangibleHands
joedaddy
JonnyX
KindaNews
knucklesnelson
kwame_johnson****
LovelyLady
Method
MichaelJackson
Phallic_Cymbals
phuzzygish
PokeyMen
polyamorousaj****
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:17:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:12:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:08:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not doing shit right now.
I'm signing off and leaving the children to fight amongst themselves.
I'll log back in tomorrow maybe and see what the contestants and the people who suddenly, mysteriously give a shit about this contest have said.
-
Hahaha!
I really like that part where he says, "...the people who suddenly, mysteriously give a shit about this contest..." """
Hahaha!
I liked the part where you sucked his dick desperate to stay in the competition.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98459#2305021
jack you are SO fucking easy to wind up
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:16:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:15:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever...
I just thought the MS Paint thing was crap.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:08:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not doing shit right now.
I'm signing off and leaving the children to fight amongst themselves.
I'll log back in tomorrow maybe and see what the contestants and the people who suddenly, mysteriously give a shit about this contest have said.
-
Hahaha!
I really like that part where he says, "...the people who suddenly, mysteriously give a shit about this contest..."
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:12:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:00:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if Method and Apollo are going to be so upset then fuck it, DQ me. Go ahead. Right now. I mean, they contribute so much entertaining content to uber after all...
I entertain more than you Jacky boy.
Published yet?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:11:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sure that in the world inside your head, people actually give a fuck what you think.
V
V
V
V
V
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:09:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can solve this:
I declare charminglybeef the winner by virtue of the fact the other two remaining entrants are pussies and have been whining about the fucking flu and blaming germs for their problems coming up with stories and/or losing.
FunnyAsCancer takes second because he whines less than Jack, a feat I heretofore thought impossible.
Jack_McCallum (AKA horse87 AKA Wisher AKA Miss_Congeniality) will be named uberlord emeritus, since it is more important to him than life itself even though the contest is decided by about fifty people and the title isn't worth a bucket of warm spit.
Snark will be given the medal of honor for putting up with such fucking babies, and then strung up by his gonads for picking such horrendous titles.
JohhnyX will continue to post shit.
Axolotl will ask Maltese to the prom.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not doing shit right now.
I'm signing off and leaving the children to fight amongst themselves.
I'll log back in tomorrow maybe and see what the contestants and the people who suddenly, mysteriously give a shit about this contest have said.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't DQ him because he's playing the martyr now, DQ him because he blatantly broke the rules
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:02:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You people drain me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if Method and Apollo are going to be so upset then fuck it, DQ me. Go ahead. Right now. I mean, they contribute so much entertaining content to uber after all...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:56:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:46:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack voted with his alter just as he was losing. He also admitted which entry was his before the voting was over. I think he should be disqualified not only based on voting with an alter, but for blatantly going against the whole "anonymity" of UM. I seem to recall that you guys were going to be very strict with the rules.
If you bend on this and let Jack win even though he CLEARLY violated the UM rules, of which it has been stated repeatedly that breaking of ANY of the rules will lead to disqualification, this whole competition is a fucking sham and you can all suck my tiny little penis.
=========================
Give me a fucking break man.
You really that worked up?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:46:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack voted with his alter just as he was losing.
--
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98459
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:50:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bwahahahahaha
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:49:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:46:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack voted with his alter just as he was losing. He also admitted which entry was his before the voting was over. I think he should be disqualified not only based on voting with an alter, but for blatantly going against the whole "anonymity" of UM. I seem to recall that you guys were going to be very strict with the rules.
If you bend on this and let Jack win even though he CLEARLY violated the UM rules, of which it has been stated repeatedly that breaking of ANY of the rules will lead to disqualification, this whole competition is a fucking sham and you can all suck my tiny little penis.
--
You're kidding, right?
50% of the votes for both entries are probably yours. Fuck off.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack voted with his alter just as he was losing. He also admitted which entry was his before the voting was over. I think he should be disqualified not only based on voting with an alter, but for blatantly going against the whole "anonymity" of UM. I seem to recall that you guys were going to be very strict with the rules.
If you bend on this and let Jack win even though he CLEARLY violated the UM rules, of which it has been stated repeatedly that breaking of ANY of the rules will lead to disqualification, this whole competition is a fucking sham and you can all suck my tiny little penis.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SNARK TAKE NOTE!!!!!11111
V
V
V
V
V
V
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BULLSHIT!
kwame-johnson is Apollo's alter. Apollo voted twice!
Q: What do people in England shout whenever there is an eclipse? A: SIT DOWN, JAIMEY!
Entry 2:
Adamdidit2u
Antioxident
>>apollo88<<
AsshOly
bicklefragile
BobLobla
darko
DCWoody
EchoBoxing
FunnyAsCancer
gravitas
Harbinger
hugafriend
joedaddy
JonnyX
knucklesnelson
>>kwame_johnson<<
LovelyLady
Method
Apollo smells bad! Apollo's head has its own gravity well!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And have I ever mentioned how much I suck at MSPaint, and would much rather write a story than do one?
I don't think I have.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:35:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:10:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Can we stop hiding now?
I'm pretty sure anybody who's ever been on Uber knows who's who.
--
Technically if we did that a double DQ would result in cb's automatic win.
Coincidentally, I'm reading 'A History of Post-Roman Britain' right now, and I was wondering if anyone knows where I could download this mspaint thing I've been hearing about. And a tutorial. Thanks.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Can we stop hiding now?
I'm pretty sure anybody who's ever been on Uber knows who's who.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-02-06 21:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you all.
Signed,
Mr. Bitter
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-06 20:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Honestly, I'm laughing my ass off right now.
PROGRESS IS INEVITABLE.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-06 01:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lol, you just wanted me to submit a half-assed entry so it'd be easier for you to win.
But whatever. What's done is done.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-05 11:51:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-05 11:12:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is bad.
After being sick for so long, I honestly don't care if I finish this. I could submit it, right now, without an ending, and be OK with it.
The flu stole my drive. Bastard.
--
I hear that. My last entry against beef was a struggle from word one.
Just do your best, dude.
You got this far. That's something in itself.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-05 11:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is bad.
After being sick for so long, I honestly don't care if I finish this. I could submit it, right now, without an ending, and be OK with it.
The flu stole my drive. Bastard.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-04 21:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was sick as fuck last round, FAC. It does take it out of you.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-04 18:28:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and...
GO BEARS WOOOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-04 18:28:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll just say it now, so I won't have to explain myself in my actual entry.
I've had the flu since Monday. And it's really hard to express yourself when your vomit is expressing itself up your throat. So when you see my entry come Tuesday, (and trust me, you'll know it's mine) that's why it's less than totally awesome.
That and I have nothing left after 8 rounds anyways.
And I suck.
BUT DAMMIT I'LL MAKE THIS ROUND INTERESTING.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-03 16:33:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck me, man.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-02 18:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*taps fingers... tries to get enthusiastic about something, ANYTHING...*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-02 18:30:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck... I guess I know what I'm doing this weekend...
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2007-01-31 00:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:32:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck guys.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 23:12:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Method, do I have to ask Bart to delete this account?
V
V
V
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-01-30 22:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just scrapped six pages because I realized the story would take another eight to tell.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKITYFUCK
I'm going to roll those pages tightly and smoke my own words to relax.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-30 21:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:29:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw shit.
I don't even know what that word means.
-----------------------------
YOU ADMITTED IT WAS A ONE WORD TITLE NOW WE'LL KNOW WHICH MATCHUP IS YOURS BAN FUNNYASCANCER
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 17:18:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What are you, Uber's hall monitor?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 17:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why don't you two butt buddies put each other on your speed dials and spare the rest us this pathetic display of....of......well, THIS?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 17:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Back away juuuuust a little further. I just got an idea and I'm about to explosively blow my wad.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-30 16:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uhhh. You're welcome... *backs away*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 16:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know who picked that title, but thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:44:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wickipedia is your friend
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw shit.
I don't even know what that word means.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 13:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
2007?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:36:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
It is now 12:35 EST and there are no titles so FAC and I should get a thirty-five minute extension on the writing period because we are getting fucked by having no titles and time is wasting and stuff.
Christ, I want a cigarette.
===================
Stories are now due January 30th at 2:00 pm est.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:36:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It is now 12:35 EST and there are no titles so FAC and I should get a thirty-five minute extension on the writing period because we are getting fucked by having no titles and time is wasting and stuff.
Christ, I want a cigarette.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Round 9 begins Tuesday 12:00 Noon. Submission Deadline is Tuesday Feb 6 Noon. Voting ends Noon Friday the 9th."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:15:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, it's not even noon. What are you complaining about?
--
THE DEADLINE IS NOON?!??!???!??!??!?!?!?!!!!?!?!???!?!!??!?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:27:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
He's probably complaining that "it's not even noon yet".
When ISN'T he complaining?
Speaking of complaining, isn't this fucking contest OVER YET?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, it's not even noon. What are you complaining about?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:07:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit, I'm gonna lose two days this week to a fucking conference.
Not that is matters. At this rate we won't have titles until the weekend.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-01-29 23:03:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WOOOO
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-29 21:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The title of this post tells you fucksticks what you are about to read.
Like scourge or someone said, if you don't want to hear about UM IV, don't
click the fucking link.
Oh wait! It must be cool to say, "is this still going on?"
My bad, ya fuckin whiners.
;(
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:33:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
You guys DO realize that at this point, there are only about 4 people that still give a shit about this, right?
Worst idea ever. 4 month contest. Good grief.
-----------------------------------------------
No lie. I lost track of this long ago, though no doubt I've been enjoying the writing.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There is a sports writer local to me named Jack McCallum. He occasionally will spew some liberal tripe in the editorials.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Final 3, eh? And the remaining guy who beat me has a bye, so I guess it's back to the old coin flip this time.
What a shitty weekend. The Hubble Space Telescope and my microwave oven both rolled over, kicked their little heels on the floor, and died.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:56:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:32:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck guys.
--
I'm just guessing here, FAC, but I bet our chances of turning out a decent story improve dramatically once the fucking titles are up bitch gripe piss moan.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck guys.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:08:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the Fuck, just take a +2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:33:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
You guys DO realize that at this point, there are only about 4 people that still give a shit about this, right?
Worst idea ever. 4 month contest. Good grief.
--
NO ONE IS ARGUING WITH YOU, YOU SENILE OLD BASTARD, SO GO BACK TO BED BEFORE YOU GET SO LATHERED UP YOU CHOKE ON YOUR DENTURES AGAIN!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You guys DO realize that at this point, there are only about 4 people that still give a shit about this, right?
Worst idea ever. 4 month contest. Good grief.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:22:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe that title.
I mean, come on, the only option it gives me is a torrid tale of old-fashioned forced-by-a-gang-of-bull-queers penitentiary sex.
Not that I couldn't get into that with the right prompting, but come on, where's the variety?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:59:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh.
Well then. I'm gonna go throw up 4 cans' worth of Rockstar and go take a nap.
--
Hahaha.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:11:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:07:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:00:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this STILL going on?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
come on jack, right som'n good
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 insinuated assplay
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks for doing this
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:14:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:47:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, next time you people do this, can we just have a bracket that says 'if you lose, youre out'?
this is fucking ridiculous.
--
If that had happened, I would already be a weiner.
----
and you should have won.
i havent read more than a few paragraphs of this so far, and i could tell this was all yours.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
So you guys are going anal ? I foresee numerous hits...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh.
Well then. I'm gonna go throw up 4 cans' worth of Rockstar and go take a nap.
Weeeeee.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just kidding...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We have a title?
My strategy of not sleeping in order to induce delirium-inspired stories must be affecting my mind more than I thought.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:15:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit, FAC, look at that title!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:47:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, next time you people do this, can we just have a bracket that says 'if you lose, youre out'?
this is fucking ridiculous.
--
If that had happened, I would already be a weiner.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:03:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is fucking ridiculous
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, awesome. My image search brings up cat mutiliation. From Uber, no less.
AWESOME, I SAY.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:00:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh boy
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:59:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like the reviews asking if this is still going on.
Wait, not 'like'...I meant, 'find myself to be fucking annoyed by'.
Just don't click the link people.
beef for the win.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:49:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck to the Round 9 contestants!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:07:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:00:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this STILL going on?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this STILL going on?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, next time you people do this, can we just have a bracket that says 'if you lose, youre out'?
this is fucking ridiculous.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:47:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See if you can stretch this into a year long event. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
[UberMadness!] UberMadness IV - Round Eight Anal (Rating: 2 on 5 reviews, last by tigerlilly 53 seconds ago)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2007-01-29 09:26:33
[Romance] Ubertines 07: Doorman of My Heart (Rating: 2 on 2 reviews, last by TigerLilly 23 minutes ago)
That's freaky.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:37:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha! Right on.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:29:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Suuuure Jared. Get your mind out of the gutter.
---------------------
"Pot?"
"Yes kettle?"
"I'm calling to tell you that you're black."
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
stevie got robbed!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Suuuure Jared. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG I MEANT ANALYSIS WTF